Pregnant and not sure keeping baby is the right decision 😢

[JinxedJenny]

Looking for some advice! I have 5 children, my youngest is just turned 4 months! My last 2 pregnancies have were 7 years apart and both very difficult, my youngest especially! Spent most of pregnancy in hospital and high risk. I have been on the pill since and waiting to be sterilised. I am 37 and not got amazing health now for a number of reasons. I have just found out I'm pregnant (approx 5 weeks) and really worried my health won't cope with it, the fear of having 2 children with only 12 months between them and also scared of what family will say. My partner feels an abortion is for the best due to high risk health and pregnancy. I kind of don't disagree with him but I'm also not sure how I feel about it and don't want to either regret termination or equally regret my health getting worse and not being able to give my best to children! Please no judgement 🙏

Why.don't you get some counselling?

In your situation, I would absolutely abort and focus on my existing children.

You have 5 children. Have an abortion if you want, enough is enough.
I'd ask why you have 5 children? Do you like having newborns? What happened that you had 5, were they all planned and the 6th wasn't?

Why don't you get some counselling from BPAS or similar?

In your situation, I would absolutely abort.

Sorry posted twice by.mistake.

I don’t think there’s enough of a gap between your last pregnancy and your current pregnancy. Your body won’t have had the chance to heal and recover. So you can take this as an act of self care

The OP said she was on the pill and waiting to be sterilised so clearly it was a "slip up" ( well I'm giving the benefit of the doubt)

In your position, I would have an abortion, you have 5 children already, and if you were on the pill and waiting to be sterilised, surely you weren't planning on any more children, anyway?
You must think of your current children, if you were high risk with your last pregnancy and with your youngest only being 4 months, is it really worth the risk? I know I'm sounding really blasé here but you must think logically here.
Don't leave your existing children without a mother.

@Mayyouleave yes all my other children were planned, eldest is 17 and youngest is 4 months with largish gaps between them all. I always wanted a big family and we are lucky to run our own successful business so supporting and providing for them all had never been a problem. But this time was unplanned

@CaptainBeanThief complete slip up! No we weren't planning anymore hence on waiting list to be sterilised but currently approximately 12 month wait in our area.

Really trying to think logically, I'm just scared I will struggle mentally and emotionally with the decision of abortion and guess I just need some advice from someone who's had one.

It must be so difficult, to be in your position, I've never been in it myself but I would definitely get some pre-abortion counselling ( doesnt means you have to go through with it) just to maybe help with your decision.
I have quite a few complex health conditions myself and I'd love yo have children and I know 100% i couldnt have an abortion so it really is easier for people to "advise" you what to do.
I think you know deep down what you want but I would definitely speak to GP/consultants to list your risks in hard facts aswell.
Good luck.
Xx

I’ve never actually had an abortion so I can’t give advice on that but neither option is easy you have to decide what is worse, going through a high risk pregnancy with risks to your health at best and life at worst (correct me if I’m wrong) or abortion. i personally think u should do what is best for your health as you only gave birth four months ago, so you still need to recover, but it’s a very personal choice and only u know what u feel is right

Without knowing the health risks to you it's not possible to evaluate your situation.

What I would say is that, if the health risks are significant and you will need to spend a long period of time in hospital with a significant possibility of not coming home, the children you have will be destroyed by that. So that is a feeling to weigh up when you are imagining how you might feel after a termination.

In your situation I’d get an abortion. Think of your other children especially the youngest if you go ahead you will be absolutely run ragged with that gap.
your husband should go private literally this week / next week for a vasectomy and do the right thing your body has been through enough

Oh god, you must be in shock! I'm pro choice though I'm not sure if I could ever have gone through with a termination, but it's a moot point as I am way too old now.

Five children is a lot and especially as your baby is only 4 months, and you've had health issues in your last two pregnancies!

Hard as it is, I think you should probably prioritise your health and the children you have. It's no fun juggling health conditions when you get older, I can tell you!

I'm so thankful that I was able to be sterilised after having my 3rd and last baby as it was done when I had a c/section. I was 40 and had a history of miscarriage so it was the sensible thing to do.

I can't advise you from the POV of having had a termination because I haven't ever had one but as a mum of three, I can tell you that responsibility does not end when they are 18 - it's a life 'sentence'!! I'm still worried and concerned about my eldest who has just bought a house, my second who is still trying to get established in a career and cost us an utter fortune last year studying in Europe with no funding. Youngest is just about to graduate and is going for job interviews. They are all in their 20s and my nerves are wrecked! The elder two have boomeranged back and forth to home, so we have been supporting them financially. And you already have two more than me!!

Get counselling and talk it through but much as it pains me, this is a decision for the head more than the heart, I feel. Good luck x

Yes, this - why can't your husband have a vasectomy rather than expect you to go through another medical procedure after having 5 of his children?? WTF is wrong with him??

I've had an abortion, was fine. No regrets.

@JinxedJenny I also have 5 children and found out I was unexpectedly pregnant around a month ago. I had a termination, no regrets, no second thoughts and absolutely the right decision for my family! I didn't overthink any aspect of the process and have been ok both mentally and emotionally since.