Can’t stop worrying about Listeria

[nervesonmynerves]

Hi everyone, I’m 6 months pregnant and am the type of person to always worry about anything and everything even when I’m not pregnant.

I’ve been careful to follow NHS advice on what foods to avoid. On Wednesday I bought some chicken baguettes from a local sandwhich shop, they keep all their baguettes on a heated rack thing (I think it was heated anyway) and by the time I ate the baguette it was cold. I bought a few as I was going to my DM’s house and she also had one of the baguettes.

Well 10 minutes after eating every crumb of it, I started panicking and thinking what if the chicken or lettuce was contaminated with listeria, etc and since then I basically haven’t stopped worrying or Googling stories about listeria in pregnancy.

The same night I went to bed feeling a little congested and woke up with a runny nose and sore throat. My DM is also feeling the same which is making me worry even more. The only other thing I can think of is my DF and DS have actually been a bit sniffly and unwell since Monday so I don’t know if the symptoms I have are listeria or just a cold. I don’t live with my parents but see them almost every day as DC school is near their home.

I think the sandwhich shop make their baguettes in advance and freeze them and then maybe heat them on the day they sell them or something- I’m not 100% sure but the scary thing is I’m now thinking about all the times I’ve eaten salad or fruit and what if that was contaminated? Also even if my symptoms are not due to listeria I keep thinking that in a lot of cases listeria doesn’t cause any symptoms to appear- all of this just fills me with dread. I’ve been nervous about this pregnancy from the very beginning and had horrible intrusive thoughts about miscarriage and stillbirth but this latest episode is really the worst so far especially as I’m actually feeling unwell.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Its highly unlikely that you have listeria, try checking the shops food hygiene rating it will probably give you some confidence. I would recommend some therapy, to allow you to enjoy your pregnancy and newborn when the time comes. It must be horrible feeling so anxious all the time.

Just enjoy the sandwich. The chances of listeria in these circumstances are miniscule.

Hi :)
I'm not sure if you're the same person whose been making the other worried posts. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm not a doctor but I have suffered on and off with various themes of OCD since childhood and what you're experiencing sounds a lot like OCD. Contamination and causing harm are not uncommon themes for OCD - going back over and over what may or may not have happened and falling into obsessive thought spirals are definitely symptoms. Pregnancy can be a massive trigger as well? Your problem isn't listeria, it's mental health.

Have you been referred to perinatal mental health for some support? Xx

I had this exact fear, it got to the point I could barely eat anything out of fear… I was eventually diagnosed with perinatal OCD… I know it’s annoying when you have what feels like a very real and legitimate fear and someone tells you it’s a mental health thing, but I just feel compelled to tell you because you sound so much like me when I was pregnant. The obsessive googling was a big symptom. I think there’s something like less than an thousand cases of listeria per year across the entire UK but if you are anything like me nothing will provide comfort for very long and the anxiety will move on to something else. I hope you can reach out to your midwife or GP for some support

Thank you for your replies, I’ve just had a little sob because of the kindness and understanding you’ve shown.

No this is my first post on this topic- sorry I didn’t see the other similar threads else I would have posted there instead of making a new one.

I definitely have some form of OCD (never officially been diagnosed but I highly suspect it) it’s taken various forms over my life but since becoming a mum it’s definitely more fixated on my health and the health of the kids, I self referred for CBT last year which is gave me some useful techniques but the problem is I can be ok for a couple of months and out of nowhere panic sets in.

The most horrible thought I have is it can be OCD/Anxiety and Listeria/whatever else I’m worried about at the same time!

Sorry @Elz1406 I missed your question, midwives are aware. At my last appointment, they did offer me some support but at the time I was feeling good so didn’t take them up on it. My assigned midwife works part time so I’m thinking I need to message her when she’s back in the office.

Don't be sorry! There's another lady on here who experiences severe anxiety so just wanted to check if that was you too. :)

I so understand everything you're saying. I've had contamination OCD in the past and various other forms and it's just awful. In those moments where the thoughts are spiralling it's so hard to take a breath and try to apply the therapy techniques. I suffered absolutely horribly from OCD during my first pregnancy. I ended up getting a lot of help from NHS psychiatry during the pregnancy and after my son was born I went on a new medication that has helped no end - I also have regular therapy. My area has a number for perinatal mental health and you can self refer directly - maybe your area has something similar. I know how hard it is to get hold of an individual midwife so maybe there's a way you can bypass that.

Even though I'm so much better in this pregnancy I immediately requested to be referred to mental health as I know how OCD can creep up on you.

As a very severe OCD sufferer I'm so much better now. I never thought I would be able to get away from those horrible thoughts, but I have. There's lots and lots of hope that you can feel better from this. <3

I also know how desperately OCD makes you want to seek reassurance even though you know that it's just a spiral and the reassurance will only work temporarily. If you ever need someone to remind you that it's the OCD talking please feel free to message or post on here. Sorry this was super long, currently laid up in bed with severe morning sickness at 20 weeks! The joys of pregnancy! Xxx

@Elz1406 Thank you so much for your very kind words! I’m sorry you’ve had similar experiences but really glad the medication is helping. All the best wishes for your pregnancy.

You are absolutely right it’s just the thoughts that creep up from nowhere and take over. I had a bad night last night, sneezing, runny nose, congested, feeling like I’ve been punched in the face, feeling hot and unable to sleep well- most other people would think oh it’s just a cold but my brain immediately goes to listeriosis and that I’ve eaten something in the last 3 months that’s caused it. I haven’t done myself any favours by reading up on stories of actual women who very sadly lost their babies due to this and didn’t show any symptoms. I’m panicking so badly right now.

I have to wait until Monday to get in touch with someone so I think it will be a long weekend ahead.

OCD is really really shit. I've been there with the obsessive researching and reassurance seeking whilst knowing that it's making things worse.

OCD just loves that teeny tiny bit of doubt that maybe the worst case scenario is what will happen, even though part of you knows how incredibly unlikely that is.

Please emphasise to your Midwife, GP how much you're struggling with these thoughts. I really hope you have some good support from family/friends too, I know how hard this is. If you can possibly manage to resist anymore researching into listeria for now I think that would be really good- I do understand how hard that is. :
<3 Let us know how you get on if you're able xxx