Doing labor by myself

[Lovegirl12]

Anyone else going to do labor by yourself or has gone thru that? I’m 36 weeks and my husband has abandoned us hole pregnancy tried to get him to comeback but it’s horrible when his around (abusive) so I’m on my own any advice? What I should expect doing it alone at the hospital. Or getting to the hospital. And after baby born?

I don’t have a name for baby either he has had me so stressed out and I been so busy keeping the house run. Baby boy name would be appreciated

I'm so sorry you're going through this alone. Do you have any family or friends who you would have with you? Even if just for some of the whole labour/delivery process

I guess having a well packed bag that's easily accessible so you can get what you need easily. And a tablet or laptop full of things to watch and listen too. Headphones and music too. Make sure you know how youre getting to and from the hospital as well. And perhaps speak to your midwife now about what support you can access postpartum.

I'm 38+5 and about to give birth in the coming days. I'm having a girl and I think we'll call her Seren, Hazel or Elenora. We didn't like a lot of boys names, but our favourites with Augustine/Gus (family name), Ozzy and Jude. It's super daunting choosing a name isn't it? What are you favourites so far?

Could you pay a doula?
Most women benefit from support during childbirth.

Lauri, Julian or Jacob are names vi like here.

have your bag packed with your notes

have a reliable taxi companies phone number handy too

Do you have a sister, Mum, cousin who would be your birthing partner ?

Don't feel bad about him not being with you and if he changes his mind and wants to be present at the birth - remember this is totally a choice that you and only you make. If you don't want him there, then he doesn't get inside the labour ward. he has no right to be there, especially f he has been abusive.

As he's your husband, he will automatically be on the birth certificate and I think he can register the birth, although I'm not sure about this and it will depend upon where you are based. Your spelling of labour suggests you may be state-side so the legal side may be different to the countries within the UK.

There is no need to tell him you're in labour and likewise I wouldn't be rushing to inform him of the birth either.

If you have a different surname to him, you are not obliged to use his, even though you are married. You can use yours or any other surname for that matter.

As for names - my personal preference is for strong, traditional names, eg Daniel, Matthew, Thomas for example. I wouldn't be too worried about having a name before the baby is born. I was all set to call DD one name, but she just didn't look like the name so we called her something else.

After the baby is born, can you spend sometime with your parents for support, or could they come to you ? talk to your midwife now so she can offer support.

@Lovegirl12 sorry about your baby's father, that's terrible and it's put you in such an unfair position.

I wouldn't labour alone though. You need someone who knows you and understands your wishes and who can advocate you, and who can be there to support you in case of an emergency etc. In an ideal world, the hospital staff would be enough but ask anyone who has given birth in recent years - it just isn't. If you ended up with a c-section, you may need help sitting up and lifting the baby in the early days. You certainly couldn't carry a newborn out of hospital in a car seat etc.

Do you have a family member or friend who can be your birthing partner and someone to offer some support in the immediate postpartum stage? If not, hiring a doula like @MumChp says would be a great idea.

Would you consider a home birth? Would solve having to travel in to hospital alone in labour. My local homebirth team does all prenatal and postnatal visits too, I found it really supportive to see the same face the whole way through. Plus at home you will have two midwives with you the whole time instead of sharing one midwife with other women in hospital so you won’t be alone if you don’t want to be. If you need to transfer in at any point in the labour/after birth they arrange transfer too.

You will be fine I done it alone and it was fine (ex left when I was pregnant) the worst part was after the actual birth (being the only woman on the ward alone) so if I was ever in that situation again I would pay for a private room (no more kids for me so won’t be happening but if I was)