Newborn and smokers in house

[Shabzxx]

My partner's elderly father is living with us at the moment, this is likely to be the case for several months. He smokes but in the garden outside the house. I'm pregnant and due next month and extremely worried about the potential impact on my baby. I've asked my partner to discuss at least having a coat he leaves outside or something when he smokes so he doesn't smell of smoke when coming back in. He also has an uncle who smokes who visits a few times a week, I don't think I can ask him to bring a coat and not sure how best to approach this...my partner has assured me he'll speak to them both but still hasn't, is it better for me just to approach them both directly at this stage?

Just ask him to wear a coat and leave it by the back door same when uncle visits it isn't the biggest deal, even elderly men know smoking is terrible for babies.

I'd maybe wait to see when your husband says to them,

I'd ask your dp once more to have the talk within a limited timeframe, then take action yourself if he fails to do so.

Tell them simply and directly that these are the steps that need to be taken to mitigate the risk to your newborn. Maybe have to hand an NHS leaflet or similar outlining the risks in case they demur.

Could you buy a cheap charity shop coat for the uncle to wear at your house?

He is smoking outside not inside. I'm assuming the uncle does also?
How often realistically are they going yo be holding baby closely for an extended period of time?
My dh smokes, only outside. And although he occasionally smells of smoke on his clothes when the wind is the wrong direction or his hands, he's also well aware naturally that it's not good for the kids or a baby and never held out children straight after a smoke and makes the effort ensure if the kids are nearby (now they are older) the the smoke isn't going directly to them.
I personally hate the smoke but he's mindful of that, and I grew up with both parents smoking in the house. Although there is evidence of smoke damage, I think the limited contact your child will have will not impact significantly enough on your child's health.

Asking much more of smokers than "do you mind smoking outside" and "have you just had a smoke? Do you mind washing your hands before holding baby" is going to end up with a tense situation between you and the smokers from my experience.

smoke and the chemicals remain on skin for half an hour to an hour after smoking so just make sure he isn’t near you or baby til then

If they won’t listen, you could ask the health visitor to speak to them? I expect they’ll be concerned at a smoker in the house and want to help you to manage the risks

My DH smokes unfortunately, only outside. I make him take the coat off at the door and wash his hands/ face/ brush his teeth before he comes anywhere near me!
Not always practical but he does try

kids shouldn’t be anywhere near smoke not just hope it doesn’t go on them

Kids also shouldn't suffer abuse, be forced to grow up before they're ready, drink alcohol, be made fun of, live in a world where they are forced into roles and have to follow to fit a societal idealism. But they are and nobody bats an eye.
You also can't tell a grow ass person that they can't poison themselves if that's their choice. Be it smoking, alcohol or processed chemicals in food. We all do it.
The point is, you control what you can when you can, and asking other people to mould to your expectations isn't viable. You cannot physically not let you child be around smoke for their whole lives, its impossible.

goodness what a response. If someone in your household is a smoker they can control not being around kids during or after smoking

Yep. And they do 🙂

You cannot physically not let you child be around smoke for their whole lives, its impossible.

I bloody well can when they’re most at risk of SIDS though, which I’m sure is where the OP is also coming from. Who’s talking about their whole lives? Nobody is.

Thanks for all your responses everyone. Yes SIDS was my concern. My partner has assured me he will discuss with them both and also won't let anyone near the baby after smoking, so I'll give him a few weeks to do this and if still nothing I'll discuss it myself.