Did stress stop anyone else getting pregnant?

[Pgirl]

Hello,

The first time I was ttc, it took 4 months, this was 1.5 years ago. I am 36 btw. I am now ttc for 9 cycles, on and off.

Sadly, we lost our little baby girl and this took its toll on me massively. In the last year, my mum was also seriously ill and nearly died (ok now), had my own health scare (all ok) and I lost an aunt and uncle, who I was very close to.

So I have had a vast amount of unprecedented stress, one thing after the other and in a short space of time. Chronic stress really.

I am now slowly coming out the other end of it all. My question is, do you think, this is why, I have not gone pregnant and did anyone else get pregnant, as the stress ended.

Positive stories only please.

Thanks.

I'm very sorry for all your losses. It's genuinely tough dealing with stuff like this. Sometimes life just gives you a battering.💐
My honest answer? No, stress doesn't prevent you getting pregnant. Women get pregnant in all sorts of very stressful situations, and that's not just anecdotal, it's a fact. War zones, refugee camps, bomb shelters, following bereavement, serious illness - you name it, women get pregnant.
It makes sense to have self care, but I would ignore the "relax" advice. Rarely is anyone's life stress free. I had 2 women colleagues involved in a very serious accident. Within a couple of months they were both pregnant.
Good luck 🤞 🤞

I think for me it might have done. We had a major flood and had to move out of our house and then spent the following weeks moving from rental to rental and during that period I couldn’t get pregnant. The month we moved back home I stopped taking ovulation tests, had sex every other day and enjoyed myself and the result is nearly three now. Totally anecdotal of course but I did feel like the stress was the explanation.

I always think some people force it too much and that’s why it doesn’t happen.

So many thousands of women get pregnant in very stressful situations. Not everyone can be chilled and relaxed at the right time.

It absolutely did. I had two miscarriages in 2022 and early 2023. Then unfortunately my baby twin boys died - one born sleeping and my second died in the NICU 4 days later - a year and 3 months ago. The grief was so bad and the shock that it took me 8 months to conceive again despite conceiving within three months the other times. I'm now 34 weeks. But I realise my body just wasn't ready before now. Nobody should ever have to bury their children and you need time to process it as you know, the pain will never leave you. I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter.

But positively I'm pregnant again and it was definitely linked to me not stressing or being consumed in grief. I don't agree with the previous poster that stress doesn't play a part. Yes people in stressful countries ect and situations get pregnant but I know it was stress that prevented me. After my sons died, I was edge, crying everyday, obsessing over ovulation tests and trying at the right time. Then feeling guilty for wanting another child even though I had given birth to the most beautiful boys who had died. We actually went away for a few trips, switched off, i kept trying but not obsessing. I wish you nothing but happiness op.

Oh and I'm not throwing out the cliche just relax, I know how condescending that is, I've been there. When I say switch off what I mean is...i blocked out all thr outside noise. Ironically mumsnet was one of the worst, everyone seemed to be conceiving, or babies survived NICU. Others recommended ridiculous vitamins ect. I just pulled back from it all. I let my body heal. You lost a child, I'm not sure how far gone you were but your body needs to heal from that trauma too xx

No. The only way it would cause an issue is if you were too stressed to have sex.

Having experienced years of infertility and IVF I ended up falling pregnant naturally during an extremely stressful time.

People saying to relax and it will happen are annoying. It's simply not true. Be kind to yourself and try not to question your stress levels, behaviours, diet, alcohol intake etc too much.....these things can make a small difference but you also need to live your life.

Thank you for such a lovely message. It made me feel much better. I am so unbelievably sorry for your losses. You are a brave inspiration. I am so happy for you and wish you all the joy in the world. I 100% believe it is stress too. Even first time around, I was on holidays when I became pregnant. My body, seems to need a happy environment. I have stopped all excess vitamins, herbal supplements and opks. I have a few trips also booked. I am going to just try and relax and enjoy life. Will be less obsessive and try 3 times a week, as opposed to too much. Any advice on what helped? Thanks again for the reply x

Thanks so much for the reply. I am.going to do much of the same.

I don’t think it could be the only reason but it is a big reason for FOUR of my friends.

Friend 1 - two MC and one ectopic. Gave up TTC. Gave up and decided to go down the IVF route. Got pregnant naturally the day before first appointment - currently have a 4 month old.

Friend 2 - one MC after 3 years TTC. Said they will take a break from TTC as it was mentally and physically taxing. Got pregnant the month after the MC - currently has a one year old.

Friend 3 - TTC for almost 4 years after their wedding. Gave up and decided to go down the IVF route. Fell pregnant after having their consultation. Currently have two kids. A six year old and a four year old.

Friend 4 - TTC for 18 months. Decided to stop trying as her sister was getting married. Got pregnant. Currently has a three year old and pregnant again!

I was not TTC. I ovulated earlier than expected and here I am, 20 weeks pregnant.

Another friend came off the pill just before her wedding to “detox” her body so that they will be ready to start trying after they get married. Was three months pregnant at her wedding!

Im not saying this is the ONLY reason. But stress is a very big factor and should not be downplayed.

Sorry to hear about your losses and wishing you the best on your journey!

I think it plays a factor. Last year I sold and bought a house and was ttc without success throughout. First time trying in the new house after we moved and we were successful. Took 9 months overall.

I'm a teacher and have heard so many stories from colleagues about being unable to get pregnant for ages, then they've gone away on holiday and let their hair down and that's when they've conceived.

This is only anecdotal of course!

It did for me. We has a fairly intense life as we married young and we were always pressured to earn as much as possible to save and buy our flat in London (in our 20s) without bank of mum and dad. Also had stressful work situations. I was made redundant and dh on fully paid sick leave but we could pay the mortgage as we had buffer and redundancy money. I fell pregnant immediately for some reason even though I had been having unprotected sex for 9 years with no result and had just been referred for fertility treatment.. this is from age 22 to age 32 so I am fairly young too and so is DH.

Just got offered a rolling contract remote role until mat leave so I think it was worth it.

It did for me. 2 years ttc. Tried prescribed clomid, didn’t work. Had given up hope. Then went out one night, got spectacularly drunk and broke my heel. I’m a senior nhs manager and was working 50 hour weeks, and back then, you had to go into the office so I was immediately signed off sick. 8 weeks later, it still wasn’t healed so I needed another 10 weeks in plaster. And, whilst sporting a highly attractive bright pink pot, I fell pregnant. The consultant said it could possibly be due to being off work and quite chilled.

So, whilst I do not recommend breaking any limbs, I do believe being stress free helped things.

I'm so late replying to you, apologies. I never get notifications on this. My obestrician really helped, he delivered my late twins and he explained how stress impacts things because tbh I was a mess. I spent so much money on stupid tests, kits, vitamins. I felt angry, upset, bitter at other pregnant women, though like yourself I had every right to be, I buried my sons so I know why I felt like that.

You were asking what helped conceive again. I physically did nothing different to before. I did go completely nartyral on vitamins - just folic acid and vit D. Dh and I always timed dtd around ovulation obviously, but after 7 failed trys since trying again I sat my husband down and you see even though I had never had any problem getting pregnant before my twins died, I actually begged my gp to be tested for problems. She reluctantly agreed and of course everything came back fine.

But as I said 7 goes, no positive test, dh agreed if we reached a year we'd look into other methods, I actually got pregnant 4 weeks later. Something after those tests just reassured me that the pressure was on me and of course it was, as I said I gave birth to my darling boy knowing he was gone and 4 days later I had to switch of life support on his brother. You also lost your darling baby, you've been through a lot. If my tests didn't come back ok, there would be a back up plan but they did and I just started slowly enjoying life again while still trying and I did get pregnant. I know life isn't that simple but when I look back on my own experience - lost 4 babies in 2 years and my last two obviously being full term.and utterly unexpected. There's no way I should have been conceiving right after my twins died. My body was probably thinking enough trauma right now. I can genuinely say the month before I got pregnant with my current pregnancy now was my happiest since my sons had died up to getting pregnant again. The 7 months in between were hell, I couldn't have coped with a pregnancy then.

I wish you so much happiness,,positivity and peace. And feel free to message away. I've probably rambled here but I get it, so just wanted to help in some way.