my partner & I found out we were expecting in Dec 2024 both extremely happy etc. He has 2 little boys from a previous relationship who I absolutely adore, myself and my family treat them as if they are my children (as I believe this is how it should be). We are currently going through courts to get a CAO as his ex is really high conflict, she has harassed, stalked and physically assaulted me on numerous occasions, amongst other things involving the children and their dad and we wanted to get it formalised so we can have our happy family time without living in fear of her or under her control. The last incident resulted in an attack on me which then caused us to lose our baby - all reported to police but they've not done anything about it. I've not coped well at all with the loss and it's left me craving the feeling of being a mother and having my own children we have agreed to try again in a few months but I'm now petrified of having another loss and wondering if it was a failure of my body that also impacted it as we weren't actively TTC as I have been on the combined pill for years. I don't really know the implications that falling pregnant whilst on the pill can have on my body or to the baby I feel clueless and I don't know when I should be ready to come off the pill now either so we can try properly.
I'm honestly not even sure what I wanted to achieve from this, more just wondering how other people have coped with the grief from loss and coping with a high conflict ex partner etc.