Would you have a c-section in this situation?

[Jimjams24]

Currently 37 weeks pregnant. Had a 3a tear with my first that has healed fine and caused me no problems. First birth was induction, fairly quick at approx 4 hours. No symptoms from the tear.

it’s almost 2 years since i had my first child. This pregnancy, I’ve felt a bulge down there since about October, and been told it’s a mild prolapse. I can also feel various bulges when i do perineum massage. I’m also finding it harder to hold going for a wee, much more so than my first pregnancy (but not had any accidents yet).

I haven’t been keeping up with pelvic floor exercises, or general exercise, as much as i did in my first pregnancy. I also have a 2 year old that i have been carrying around (though not as much as i normally would). I was never very fit, but I just don’t feel as prepared this time round.

would you have a c-section in my situation? My main concern is the recovery, and coping with my toddler. I don’t really want to not be able to pick him up for weeks or not be able to drive, or to be unable to manage baby on my own. My husband will definitely help as much as he can, but I don’t want to be totally reliant on him.

however, I’m worried about the risk of my prolapse getting worse with a vaginal delivery. The midwife said the mode of delivery doesn’t make a difference, it’s the pregnancy that causes it. But i just don’t get how that can be true and how vaginal birth won’t worsen it? I’m also worried about the usual things - pain, risk of another tear etc, but I think I could deal with those risks. I just don’t want to end up with life changing injuries.

my preference would be a vaginal birth, but I’d really like to hear from anyone with similar experiences about how things turned out for you and whether you would have had a c-section in my situation?

Haven't had a tear or prolapse but I've had 2 c sections. I'd have a c section in your situation as not to risk further damage. Elective ones usually go well and a calm and gentle. My first recovery was pretty quick, and my most recent one in October was great. I was up that evening and walking without much issue on the second day. You have to take things slowly and hopefully you have a supportive partner. You won't be running marathons for a while but it's nothing to be scared of.

how did you find managing with your first when recovering with the second c-section?

My son is 2 and wants to be held and actively played with a lot. I think part of my nervousness is maybe a bit deep rooted - I had post partum depression after my first (which I only realised very late), couldn’t breastfeed, and it took me a long time to bond with my son, like months. He’s also more of a daddy’s boy which doesn’t really help the guilt I feel about bonding/depression.

I think because of that I’m extra sensitive to being in a position where he can’t rely on me to meet his needs. It probably also means I pushed myself to do things with my son a bit more than I should have in this pregnancy. Also, i know this is totally illogical, but I have some sort of worry that I won’t bond with baby as well if i have a c-section or be able to breastfeed. Again, I know it’s illogical, but I think I’m just really worried about having similar bonding problems with baby that it’s maybe impacting my birth choices and not making me not think very logically.

I can't help much as only had c sections. But I was fully expecting the slower bonding, longer recovery and harder breastfeeding. None true for me! I would remove the pressure or expectation of bonding quickly anyway- it will happen when right for you

No question the lack of driving is a pain and you do need to rest in the days afterwards. But I was walking the same day, walking a lot by day three. Pros and cons to all deliveries- c section was great for me, but not ideal for those wanting e.g. 5 children

So sorry about the PND - maybe ask midwife early about this?

@Jimjams24 my older ds is 4 and premature and we couldn't breastfeed. With ds2 I went straight to formula as I didn't want to breastfeed but my milk came in within 2 days so no delay or issue there if I did want to. Definitely no issues with bonding with either of them. Ds1 is very equal in his preferences, loves me and dh the same. Ds2 prefers me at the moment but he's only 5 months and I see him more on maternity leave. I wasn't able to roll around the floor straight away but I was picking ds1 up fairly early on when I felt ready. I definitely had ppd first time around too due to a traumatic pregnancy and being ill after. The c sections were the best part of it for me x

I am post second C. Both maternal request electives. No regrets at all. You won’t be able to pick up your son so would organise annual leave on top of maternity for your partner to be around. Could be a really lovely experience to have the 4 of you all together. Would aim for 4 weeks to be on the safe side.

Also would recommend demanding Oromorph as painkiller to take home. Had this with my first and was excellent. Had to have a stand off with hospital and refuse to leave without it for second.

Besides being an incredible painkiller and gold standard pain relief for bf mums due to short half life of an hour; it’s also a lactation promoter so will help your milk come in.