Hi,
This is my first time posting anything like this...
I'm 34 weeks pregnant, since finding out we were pregnant my partner and I have had sex once, which resulted in me being in a bit of pain afterwards.
Since then every time I've tried to initiate anything he's said no I don't want you to be in pain again afterwards. Which I fully appreciate, however he would make jokes about me giving him oral, then moaning that I never do that... why would I do that for him if he can't return the favour in anyway? And even if I do touch him he doesn't get hard. So I feel the potential pain aspect is an excuse.
He only kisses me when he's leaving for work, arriving home from work and when it's time to sleep and even then they are quick pecks, so they feel obligatory.
I don't feel he is attracted to me at all.
He gets up in the morning, makes a coffee and sits watching videos on his phone, he gets home from work, makes food and sits watching videos on his phone until he goes to sleep.
If we share a bath he is on his phone watching videos.
If I try to make conversation, he is staring at his phone.
If I mention he's on his phone constantly and I'm trying to talk to him he either claims he responded (he might have in his head but not out loud) or he gets frustrated and defensive.
I try to suggest going out and doing something but he doesn't want to.
Last night I said let's watch a movie together! He said put on what you want, phone in hand, I ended up watching a movie while he watched videos on his phone with a headphone in.
Most evenings I'm so uncomfortable on the sofa that I will lay in bed, he will be downstairs on the sofa watching videos until he comes up, puts his phone on the side and immediately falls asleep.
I send him cute messages or screenshots of cute written words almost every day and I get kiss faces sent back.
I say goodnight sweet dreams I love you and he will mumble it back but I don't remember the last time he said it first.
I have a daughter from a previous relationship, who I was incredibly ill with while pregnant so I'd always said I wouldn't have another child unless the person I was with was absolutely incredible, which he was, and he had always wanted a child, so we got pregnant and now I couldn't feel more unattractive, and ignored.
He works every weekday and the hours have been long and tiring, so I feel guilty that I'm so upset and irritated with his phone usage, but when it is coupled with that we can't even cuddle up and watch a movie together or have a proper conversation it really gets to me!
A baby shower has been planned by relatives and friends, some tweaks have been made which has made me feel more excited about having one, I managed to get him to go out for a meal with me and I was excitedly talking about it and he asked if we could change the subject because it was boring/irritating him... I said OK, what do you want to talk about? And he said I don't know just not that!
I really love him and want to be with him but this is really making me sad and I don't know what to do, I feel more like housemates than two people in love 😔