To move before baby comes? FTM maybe being unrealistic!

[missmam]

I'm not sure if I should post this in pregnancy or newborns. I'm an FTM and hoping for advice from mums who have done it all before!

We moved out of London about 18months ago to a large town in south west and it really hasn't worked out for us. In retrospect, wasn't our finest decision as we still both work in LDN 2-3 a week and commuting is much harder than I had accounted for. We have realised that with baby eventually needing to go to nursery, it's not sustainable and we need to move back closer to London by the time I go back to work in December (i'm due in June). Have put house on market but no offers yet.

But now im thinking I want my maternity leave in London too. several of my closest friend are due at same time as me and I have visions of us all hanging out with newborns. The house we currently own is also at the top of a massive hill and getting up and down with a pram is going very very tricky, especially when she's new. I don't have a car and my husband will still have to spend three days a week in London so I'll be stuck at home when hes not here. He also travels a lot for work and im dreading the isolation here where I know no one.

Is it madness to try and rent in London for the new born phase? or am I going to be pretty much housebound for summer any and not really notice the difference of where I am in the country? Any advice super appreciated!

No, you will not be housebound, apart from the first few days of having a newborn.(or a few weeks if you had a c-section) When you’re not going to work, your support network is so important, eg getting out with the baby and seeing people/going to baby classes. If you are unable to do this, you will be at much higher risk of post natal depression, imo. Staying at home alone all day with a baby would be awful.

You won’t be housebound. I had an emergency cat 1 section and was up and about (albeit slowly!) the next day.

Be where your friends are, and where you want to
make new parent friends. It’s a lot easier to build those connections when your baby is younger.

We relocated back to the UK from another country at 27 weeks pregnant (also with a 4.5 year old), lived with family for a bit while we completed on a house then finally moved into our new home when I was 35 weeks pregnant! (Spent a couple of weeks redecorating and doing some work on it before moving in).
37 weeks now and I'm still unpacking boxes and sorting but so happy to be where we want to be for when baby arrives!

It's easier to do it when pregnant than with a newborn!

Good advice from previous posters!
If you want to move, move now.

Slightly different to your question, but I always knew we were going to live after having children, and we relocated when LO was one. However, our flat rented faster than our house exchanged and we had 3 months living with family and out of suitcases with a baby which was very hard.

We also made so many friends during maternity and now I find it really difficult as we don't know anyone in the new area, and all the people we've been doing stuff with since 8 weeks old are miles away. We have joined some lovely classes though and she goes to an amazing nursery here.

So my vote would be move whilst it's easier (I.e. no small child around yet) but also don't stress about it because you can and will manage no matter where you are. Please don't worry about things like the hill, I lived on a third floor (four double flights) with no lift, and we went out most days from LO being 3 days old. It's amazing the power you get, you just take it at your own pace. Plus nothing stopping you doing things in London with your friends, and Laos making friends in the area you live in. Things work themselves out.