Childcare during labour

[Elz1406]

Hiya, hoping there might be some good tips from people in the same position!
I'm due with my second child in August and just starting to feel a bit concerned about arrangements for when I'm in labour.

We don't have any family nearby or who are in good enough health to look after DC1, who will be 20 months at the time, for a significant period. It's the 2 of us doing childcare 100% of the time. We have lovely friends who I'm sure would want to help where possible but people work and have their own families. I don't think we'd be able to arrange anything solid.

Basically the only real option is to pay for childcare but I'm not sure what - are there childcare companies that will do last minute, emergency childcare!? If anyone's had any experience of this I'd be really grateful for any suggestions! We're based in Manchester. Worst case scenario I labour on my own and DH stays home with our toddler but that wouldn't be my preference. Thanks so much!

Just a thought OP but have you considered a home birth? My second is due in July when our little boy will be 19 months old and I'm doing a home birth for exactly this reason! I didn't feel comfortable sending him away so I'll be keeping him at home and my partner can spend time with him whilst I'm comfortably in bed with contractions!

I was in this situation with my second DC. My parents live in another country and my in-laws were not involved much or confident with a toddler. Our childminder ended up taking him in at 1am in the morning (planned and agreed)and looked after him for the whole night/ day until my husband was able to pick him up again. He was so well looked after which was comforting for me as I hadn’t left him before like that.

I was in the situation again with my 3rd baby a few months ago but we actually “trained” up my in-laws and had our childminder again as plan A. It just so happened that the in-laws were there when I went into labour and they were able to take the kids for the day. We felt they were ok to do this. Luckily timing was good as I went into labour the morning to hospital and DH was able to come home to put them to bed.

Both times I was against home births as I thought I’d find it distracting if only my DH was looking after them, but also i needed my DH undistracted support. He also would have needed to be able to drop everything for anything urgent.

I feel for you as it’s very difficult to plan but you do have time. I personally would look at who’s already involved in your life perhaps, is there anyway you could “train” anyone to understand your child’s routine? Start doing this now so your child gets used to it, if you can. Is there anyone in your nursery who does emergency care, you could be surprised ( I was with our childminder). You could find a childminder who does emergency care which is what our childminder does now after her lovely experience with our son.

I am in the same position and thanks everyone this has been a really useful thread. Can I ask those who’ve done it/are considering labouring alone - how will you/did you actually get to hospital? Are taxis willing to take someone in fairly advanced labour? Ideally if we do go that route and it’s middle of the night I’d rather just leave my DS at home asleep than have to wake him up for my DH to drive me in, but is that practical? Thank you!

Could you ask if any of the staff at your child’s nursery could help out? I’m aware they work but potentially someone else on call if they had a day off/weekend and someone your child already knows.

We don't have a car so both times I went by taxi. Neither time anyone said anything so if they realised I was in labour, maybe they were being polite! I used our local minicab firm rather than uber though. I bought some of those incontinence bed pads and put them on the seat underneath me plus a waterproof coat (in the middle of a June heatwave for DD1 😅) and had a maternity pad in my pants as I was actively leaking waters. It was uncomfortable - especially stopped at the traffic lights, but I just tried to focus on my breathing and the driver helped me with my stuff at the other end.

Because I knew i might be on my own, I separated my "hospital bag" into two bags - one smallish bag that I carried with my pillow and had immediate things I needed - basically charger, notes, meds, anything for labour itself and first outfit / nappy for baby in case he missed the birth. Then when DH followed, he brought my wheely suitcase with baby's things, my toiletries, pjs, change of clothes etc. That way I wasn't having to carry loads of stuff on my own through the hospital whilst having contractions.

Edit to add - obviously you can only do the split bag thing if someone will come later on (eg. After an eldest child goes to childcare). If you are preparing to labour completely on your own, I'd try to pack as lightly as possible so you aren't worried about carrying too much.

Thank you so much @CrispAppleStrudels thats super helpful lots of practical things to think about. My hb would be following so could bring extra stuff. And good to know you managed the taxis and just didn’t make a thing of it!

It's nice to hear from people in the same position. :) I think where I'm coming to is that if I need to go into hospital in the day we'll do our best to figure something out but if it's at night DH will stay will DS. My plan is also taxi if it's at night and hopefully it's something they're fairly used to! Xx

I laboured alone to start, while DH waited with DD for my mum to arrive. It was fine (because I'd planned that scenario in my head). The hospital were actually a bit shirty about me arriving alone - but they were brill once they got me checked in. The staff kept someone with me at all times (probably why they were a bit shirty...)

I would have thought they should have been extra nice because you were arriving alone! Labouring mum on her own is definitely not deserving of shirtiness. Very glad they were great in the end though. So far everyone I've met at the hospital though my two pregnancies has been amazing so I have high hopes :)