This time last year I found out I was pregnant with a very much wanted second child (for financial and practical reasons we had to wait several years after our first). Unfortunately, despite a scan where all was well, the baby died at 12 weeks and it was very distressing. At the time DH said we’d keep trying and do whatever it took, including looking at adoption if necessary.
I’ve felt quite alone during the ttc process as, while I’ve changed my diet, been taking supplements, tracked cycles etc DH has done nothing - and whenever I’ve said we should dtd as it’s a fertile window he’s either been “too tired” or not able to finish. So I stopped telling him anything about windows and just “gone with the flow” (at his request) - which has been quite stressful when a month has gone passed with no chance of conception and my age is not on my side.
Last week I found out that I am pregnant - I’m delighted and terrified in equal measure. However, DH’s reaction was completely flat, and he chose that moment to tell me that he had changed his mind and doesn’t want another child, but hadn’t worked out when to tell me yet.
Of course he is entitled to change his mind, and to be apprehensive given how traumatic the loss was, but I feel completely betrayed. It’s hard not to feel as though the relationship is over - if I lose this baby I’ll be devastated again, but will know that he is glad; if I’m lucky enough to keep the baby then it’ll be a baby he didn’t want. Has anyone else been in this position and got though it as a couple?