I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and not with the father. It was a short term fling and accidents happened. I'm high risk so it's been worrying and I've had every symptom imaginable.
Anyway he was pretty good when I told him and was trying to be there for me but has now taken a step back and says he will be there for the scans etc but that he can't be there for me. I explained that he can walk away if he wants and I'm happy doing this alone. He said he wouldn't walk away from any of his kids and would support me and the baby as much as he could.
I do need support (I can get the from friends and family) but I also hoped that I would get it from him. I also hoped we could build a friendship over the next few months so we could be the best parents we can be to the new baby.
I've explained to him that I don't really know him and for me to be comfortable around him I need to spend time with him during the pregnancy to get to know him. That maybe if we can do that then he can be at the birth and around for the bonding time etc.
I've also explained that by doing this it will help me to allow him to have regular visits and eventually get more time with baby as it gets older and can be away from mum for longer periods of time.
The way things are right now I'm struggling to even call him when I thought I was miscarrying.
He seems to think I'm wanting to build a relationship but when in reality all I want to do is build a friendship with my baby's dad. So that I can be comfortable around him when baby is here and that I can be comfortable with him having time alone with the baby away from me.
I have also explained that it's going to be difficult for me to be around him and his family and kids when I have never met them or even know much about them.
Bit of background I've had miscarriages in the past and my last relationship was v toxic. It involved DV and I'm very wary of men and trust. He is aware of all of this.