Counting kicks?

[OptimisticRealist2024]

Just a question about what other people do, really.

I posted a little while ago about the baffling advice I had from my midwife (log every kick, number and duration) which seems impossible to do when I'm in meetings and things all day.

I'm 23+4, and been feeling kicks since about 18 weeks. When it got to 20 weeks, I started keeping a simple tracker in my phone of roughly when kicks were happening. There are days when I forget, or my routine is different so I don't notice/seem to rock baby to sleep, but I wondered if this is enough for me to use to monitor over the next few months or if I should be keeping something more detailed e.g every hour? It's working for me as a system but a bit worried it's too easy.

I don't really know if I'll ever be able to tell if I have reduced movements - sometimes baby kicks, and sometimes baby doesn't.

For example, baby only seems to kick once between 12-3, usually when I'm
eating lunch. I don't know if they're kicking for the same number of kicks, but they tend to wriggle about and then settle down after my lunch break. Is that detailed enough? Or should I be counting how many kicks they do in that time rather than if they kick?

I'm the overthinking type so any wisdom appreciated!

Have included a screenshot of this week. Question mark means I was in the middle of something and couldn't remember if baby kicked or not!

Good grief this is insanity, you poor thing! You must be driven nuts😵‍💫 I'm sorry but your midwife is bonkers! It's actually completely discouraged to 'count kicks', completely outdated advice. (Midwife here). Because it literally means nothing to know a number.

From about 28 weeks onwards baby's start to develop their own individualised pattern. You then begin to recognise that and can tell if it feels normal for your baby day to day.

For example DS was a a morning mover, he'd wake before me every morning and get dancing. Quiet until lunch time and again until after dinner. If I counted numbers it wouldn't reflect the pattern that I came to know. So if I felt 30 movements in the morning but nothing for the rest of the day thats a major red flag, but 30 sounds like loads so may not worry someone, if you see what I'm getting at. The idea then being that if they don't do their usual pattern you get checked out.

Did you raise concerns about movements to bring about this advice or was it just a general recommendation? If you ever have a concern ring triage for advice and present if you need reassurance at any time. I obviously don't know any details of your own situation but the advice she has given is completely discouraged nowadays and great work has been done to move away from 'counting kicks'.

I had my 25 week midwife appointment today and they asked about movement. All they wanted to know was if I feel movement daily. I explained I do but that there's currently no pattern that I'm aware of and that it varies (I suspect I often just don't notice it happening as I'm busy at work most days). I did query when I should notice a pattern and the midwife said it can be as late as 31 weeks before I'll notice any kind of routine. She didn't however tell me I need to keep a record of it, only that if I sense any significant changes (e.g. I get to the end of the day and haven't felt anything) to call the maternity unit.

It sounds like you've possibly been given dated advice, as none of my friends who've had children recently have used kick counters. Is your midwife quite old school by any chance?

Logging all of that would send my anxiety through the roof! 🙈

At 23 weeks my ‘norm’ was to feel baby wiggle in the mornings when I woke up, throughout the day I was moving about too much at work to notice anything, but by 8pm/9pm they’d be wiggling all over again and if I didn’t notice movement then, I’d have something to eat or drink as this got them moving. This became our pattern until baby got a little bigger and I now notice movements and kicks during the day when I’m busy too.

You’ll get to know your patterns too and will know when something feels off. Ditch the record keeping though, unless it helps you of course.

I though count the kicks was outdated. It was de rigeur when I was pregnant with DD. I spent so much time in the antenatal ward because my baby wasn't kicking. I assume now I had a placenta which absorbed her kicks.

With all three of mine I had a front-lying (anterior?) placenta which seemed to absorb kicks and movement too. I didn't feel them move that much at all and it was also hard to tell a particular pattern. As long as I felt them move at least every few hours I didn't worry. However this was perhaps unique to my situation - if yours moves an awful lot, I'd be expecting to feel that every day!

I think counting kicks is very outdated and pretty crazy before 28 weeks as it will change a lot up till then!

I'm 36 weeks now and it's still not the exact same every day! I can tell when she's changed positions as the kicks will be in a different place and sometimes stronger, more intense than other times.

There are set times of the day where she moves the most so I'm always aware of if i have or haven't felt her at those times but I couldn't be logging every movement all day every day

@OptimisticRealist2024 Are you an engineer or scientist by any chance? My first instinct was to measure as well as inaccurate information felt a bit pointless. But the midwife said it was more of a vibes based thing.

I didn't think you were literally meant to count kicks, that's very hard and time consuming.

I think it's just good to have a general awareness of patterns. I'm in the early days of getting kicks (20 weeks) so I don't really have any routine or consistency yet but I typically feel something every few hours, so I guess if several hours passed without anything I may be concerned. Though would be too early to seek medical attention

Thanks everyone! Midwife said every baby will have a different pattern, but that I should count how many kicks baby does so I know what's normal for me. (She did tell me that counting to 10 kicks was out of date - so that's something!)

She told me I'd start to feel a pattern but that I should keep a log so I know when there are reduced movements because it could be a very bad sign. This tick system was pretty much the only way I could do this and still stay sane - but I still can't really use it to check for reduced movements so wondered if I should be doing what midwife recommended after all. 😬 I actually went into get checked for reduced movements at 19 weeks - and was mortified to learn that basically once or twice a day at that point is fine. They were more worried about my anxiety. 🙄

It was brought up as part of my 16-week appointment but she said by the time I see her for 25-week that I should have a better idea of a pattern. As it happens, baby does seem to have a bit of a pattern but I don't think there's any point clinging to this if it's still quite early to be spotting a pattern.

I don't really have a lot of faith in my midwife tbh. She's lovely, but very vague when I ask questions - when I ask for detail, she pulls up the NHS website and basically reads it out to me/pastes the answer into an email. She's "always available" except she seems to keep her phone switched off and takes a few days with emails...so I just call the hospital to ask the ante-natal unit midwife for advice now.

Fully expected responses here to tell me this chart wasn't detailed enough to be helpful but I might give it a rest altogether tbh. I'm not one of life's record-keepers and it is starting to stress me out. (@WannabeMathematician I am not one of life's engineers or mathematicians either!)

Thanks again! I'll chill out on the logging front now...!

I think as long as you have a rough idea of what's normal for you, you don't need to actually count or log anything (unless you want to!).

If you haven't felt baby move in the morning, for example, and you usually would, then get checked out, but it doesn't need to be an exact science.