Post partum: what's normal?

[StamppotAndGravy]

I'm not in the UK and am feeling really pressured to follow rules that I suspect are more cultural than necessary. The NHS website doesn't have much more than the basic practical information, so I was hoping to get some more idea of what was actually normal. This is all assuming a normal vaginal birth without significant blood loss or injury and a healthy baby that feeds well - I know if something major happens I need a new approach.

Here you get a nurse coming round for a few hours per day for the first week. There seems to be an assumption that you'll spend the week in bed. I had the idea that keeping mobile (within reason) was meant to be better for mental and physical health. Am I imagining this?! They're also saying set the alarm for every 3 hours to wake and feed the baby and take its temperature. The NHS says just feed on demand (which could be more than every 3 hours, I know, but waking a baby that's not lost too much weight seems mad). I've already put my foot down and will not be using the recommended hot water bottles due to the risk of SIDS and burns. I feel like I going to have to go into this fighting the nurse and midwife, so want some ammunition!

Sorry I’m not in the uk, where I live I had a nurse come visit a few times post partum. She checked my wound, checked babies weight and that he was feeding ok and that was it. She was nothing but supportive and gave me some helpful tips about breastfeeding. I don’t know what the recommendation is about hot water bottles that you are speaking of?

I understand the need to be fully informed and educated yourself, but I don’t really get your attitude of expecting a fight and wanting ammunition.

In the U.K. the general approach post any medical care is to get you up and moving as much as possible.

Quite frequently they get you up and moving while it's still difficult and painful (personal experience) but it does help you get up and get on with stuff.

To be honest with a new baby I'd be taking any opportunity for rest I could.

Even after an emergency c-section I was encouraged to be up and mobile, certainly not staying bed for a week. The hot water bottle thing is clearly not sensible and there's no need to take the baby's temperature all the time. Or at all, unless you think they are unwell.

Yes to feed on demand, breastfeeding every 3 hours is quite old fashioned and regimented. You will likely be feeding more often than 3 hourly when baby is small. I would not leave a newborn without feeding for more than 4 hours though, even if they are asleep.

I don't know what a nurse would do visiting for a few hours each day - I would find that very intrusive and unnecessary. Is there the option to turn that service down?

Feed on demand. I'd wake maybe every 4 hours for the first week anyway (not sure after that as none of mine ever slept that long so it wasn't an issue).
Move around when you feel up to it. Listen to your body. Do not go for a five mile hike in the first week. But you don't want a DVT either.
No no no to hot water bottles.

I moved back to the UK at 26 weeks but what I was hearing in the country we were living in was crazy to me - I could forsee a lot of issues, especially with my MIL

For a start, they think mother and baby have to quarantine indoors for the first 40 days and yes, bed rest for the first week.

The feed every few hours thing in the UK I'd if they're tiny or have dropped a lot since their birth weight. Otherwise, it's definitely feed on demand!

You'll find that birth and postpartum around the world can look very different depending on the country. You're right that a lot of it is cultural, and can be difficult to navigate as cultural norms are tricky when you disagree, it can be felt as a real insult in my experience. However, your body and your baby, you do what feels right for you. Only you get to decide what you want! You'll find NHS guidelines are based off RCOG guidelines and NICE too. If you're interested in the evidence, you'll find detailed recommendations there.

To answer your questions..
You're absolutely right, movement is important. Pregnancy, and in particular early postpartum, carries a higher risk of blood clots. Movement and hydration lowers the risk.

Feed on demand. Usually will be more than every 3 hours to begin with. The occasional baby takes longer stretches. Majority of babies will lose weight initially. Good idea to not really allow more than 4 hour stretches until baby has regained birth weight. Babies aren't great at maintaining their blood sugars so are prone to dropping their sugars and this makes them very sleepy. Very dangerous if it happens. So the longer you leave them, the deeper they sleep, the less they are able to be woken to feed..vicious cycle.

Really good idea to follow safe sleep advice. Lots of info online and sounds like you've already got a great understanding of it.

Might be worth having a conversation upfront with anyone who's caring for you. Something like 'I might be approaching things a little differently to what you're used to. I've done my research on best practices and these are the guidelines I want to follow x,y,z. I'd appreciate your support with this.' So it's over and done with from the offset and you don't have to stress mentally preparing for disagreements etc.
Best of luck with the upcoming birth!😊

Thanks everyone! That's really helpful and a dose of realism is always useful.

Paternity leave didn't exist here until 2021, so you get a nurse who looks after you instead of your partner. They do health checks, basic housework, bring you snacks, hold the baby so you can shower, give advise on feeding, take older kids to school etc. I know a lot of women, including other immigrants, find it a completely wonderful system that gives them a chance to recover.

What they recommend feels quite old fashioned though. Unfortunately because we're immigrants I already feel like I'm treated like I'm dumb in the planning meetings so I don't anticipate being listened to. I already told them I wouldn't be using hot water bottles and got told that I'd be shown how to use them properly and it written in my notes that I find them scary and need support in their use, not that they're a fucking terrible idea, banned in most countries. Our flat only has 2 rooms as well, so if there's someone sat on my sofa for 4-8 hours per day not listening to me it's going to feel awful, to whom I have to speak in my 3rd language. All this is coupled with the knowledge that this country has one of the highest infant mortality rates in Westen Europe, which makes me less inclined to play along! I think DH's job is going to be getting rid of them after the health checks each day.

Wow, I'd hate a stranger being in my space that soon post partum let alone everyday! Can't you send them away?

Feed on demand but I would let a newborn go more that 3/4 hours for the first few weeks.
Except the first night! Often babies feed within the first 2 hours and then go 8-12 hours without after the birth. No one told me this and all 3 of my babies refused to feed for 12 hours after the initial one. Called midwives and they all said completely normal and further research has proved it is very common but no one told me that.

I used hot water bottles to warm the moses basket before attempting to but baby in it but obviously removed it before baby went in it. I can't imagine anyone using one with a baby!

Lullaby trust has all the safe sleep info that they recommend in the UK.