Announcing birth to family/ friends struggling with infertility or baby loss

[horchatatresleches]

I see a lot of advice for how to sensitively announce a pregnancy to people who are struggling to conceive or have suffered multiple miscarriages, but not really anything about how to be sensitive when telling them the baby is here. All being well, I’ll be welcoming my baby soon and sadly I have loved ones who are still waiting for their positive test, including one who should have a four month old now but lost the baby at 17 weeks. Obviously I haven’t sent any updates, details or bump/ scan pictures throughout my pregnancy. If you’ve experienced infertility or baby loss, how would you want to be told about the arrival of a new baby?

A text message along the lines of 'NAME arrived safely on Wednesday morning. Everyone is well'. Don't include a photo and I would leave out details like weight and time of birth as well. Let them reply as they want to in their own time

I hope all goes smoothly for you, and well done for being so thoughtful

I know you want to be sensitive but this is your baby announcement.
I would want you to announce it anyway you wanted to.

As a person on the other side (multiple miscarriages) I agree with this. Don't do what my in laws did which was ring from the hospital having kept the pregnancy a secret and then didn't even tell us the baby's name for weeks!

Navigating being pregnant after loss with friends also struggling, I would suggest the best stance is asking them in advance. I have friends who want to know all the details and don’t want to feel ‘left out’ and friends who want to know the bare minimum to protect themselves. Both have been fine with me.

Congratulations and good luck for your impending birth x

Having struggled with infertility for 7 years, I was always over the moon when reading other people's birth announcements! I always think how its wonderful and the loveliest thing in the world.

A few days/weeks later I might be wishing it was me making the announcement, but I don't think that should stop you from celebrating.