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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Struggling with 3rd pregnant feelings

2 replies

Starsmoon · 23/02/2025 10:46

Currently pregnant with my third pregnancy, wasn't planned. I am 33 and already have a 12dd and a 3dd. My partner always wanted a second baby so he's delighted but I was always on the fence about this and have been feeling pretty bad about the whole thing since we found out (I'm now 10weeks) I was just getting what felt like my life back a bit, just about to take on a second job to bring my hours up enough to put us in a much better position financially, I can't go to work that job now I am pregnant due to the circumstances of the job which I completely understand but feel gutted about. My partner works hard and has a private business alongside his main job which is starting to go from strength to strength. We have a 2 bedroom rented house and was hoping eventually to get money behind to buy a house further down the line.

I have lots of concerns and zero excitement right now and it's really getting me down, I even went to an abortion clinic at 7 weeks because I really was convinced i couldn't through with this, but I just couldn't do it.

I'm worried I'm going to get bogged down with 3 children no life whilst my partner works full time including weekends so little support. I'm worried that we will suffer financially and stay stuck here unable to afford to move to a bigger house. I worry my 2 other children at completely different ages won't get the time and attention they need. I've been a mum since 21 years old and now I won't get real freedom until I'm well into my 40s. I really want to feel different right now and I feel shame for not being happy. Although I know il love this baby no matter what same as I love my other dds and all this feeling will go away eventually.. I hope. Anyone else felt like this going from 2 to 3?

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NeedSleepNowPls · 26/02/2025 16:16

Hi @Starsmoon , didn't want to read and not reply. I was in the exact same position last year, surprise 3rd baby and I have a now 10 and 7yr old so large age gaps. I contacted an abortion clinic early on to discuss my feelings but decided to keep the baby (thank goodness- she's here now and my absolute world). My job suffered as I missed out on a permanent job due to the pregnancy, but honestly now she's here I don't care about work at all compared to how much I love this baby. It's like an incredible gift to be able to start again with a baby, and I say that as someone who was also terrified to lose my freedom and easy life with just older kids. I really hope things work out for you, please do pm me if you want to chat as its a huge life change. I really hope that yours ends up as positive as mine has been despite the worries x

Starsmoon · 26/02/2025 17:02

Thankyou @NeedSleepNowPls for your reply. I'm really glad you are happy and it gives me hope reading this. I had my first midwife appointment 2 days ago and felt a little better after that I've also had the dating scan come through so I have that to look forward to it's made everything more real now. I am trying to picture my life with another and be positive (i love the baby stage) but then I still have these thoughts of having a life and I crave it. I guess with time it will become easier and il get more excited. I just hope everything works out fine (i am a worrier and tend to feel all the negatives)

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