Currently pregnant with my third pregnancy, wasn't planned. I am 33 and already have a 12dd and a 3dd. My partner always wanted a second baby so he's delighted but I was always on the fence about this and have been feeling pretty bad about the whole thing since we found out (I'm now 10weeks) I was just getting what felt like my life back a bit, just about to take on a second job to bring my hours up enough to put us in a much better position financially, I can't go to work that job now I am pregnant due to the circumstances of the job which I completely understand but feel gutted about. My partner works hard and has a private business alongside his main job which is starting to go from strength to strength. We have a 2 bedroom rented house and was hoping eventually to get money behind to buy a house further down the line.
I have lots of concerns and zero excitement right now and it's really getting me down, I even went to an abortion clinic at 7 weeks because I really was convinced i couldn't through with this, but I just couldn't do it.
I'm worried I'm going to get bogged down with 3 children no life whilst my partner works full time including weekends so little support. I'm worried that we will suffer financially and stay stuck here unable to afford to move to a bigger house. I worry my 2 other children at completely different ages won't get the time and attention they need. I've been a mum since 21 years old and now I won't get real freedom until I'm well into my 40s. I really want to feel different right now and I feel shame for not being happy. Although I know il love this baby no matter what same as I love my other dds and all this feeling will go away eventually.. I hope. Anyone else felt like this going from 2 to 3?