Lonely in pregnancy

[zinrlow]

I'm 27 and 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby and am feeling so lonely.

I feel silly saying this as I have a great partner, amazing parents and family and a lot of good friends but I just feel quite down and alone at the moment.

My partner is out for a few drinks with his friends, my friends are all out drinking for the rugby and I'm just sat at home thinking is this my life now?

Before falling pregnant I would love a night out and a drink so I think it's hitting me hard not being able to do that anymore (the social aspect)

Can anyone relate?

My baby is 10 months old now but I felt like this a lot when I was pregnant. I felt lonely without ever actually being lonely in the typical sense, I had an amazing husband and family who were always there, I had amazing friends who truly did go above and beyond for me, but I still felt lonely sometimes even when surrounded by people. It was a strange kind of loneliness in that I wasn’t physically lonely but mentally it didn’t feel like anyone really understood how I was feeling.

Can I ask why you haven’t gone out with your friends? I know you can’t have a drink but there’s honestly no reason you can’t still go! I had lots of sober nights/days out when I was pregnant, it’s nice to still be involved. There’s plenty of time once baby is here where you won’t be able to join in but I would say while pregnant make the most of going even though it means going sober x

Lots of alcohol free options these days. I’d still go out and have a good time. It may feel difficult now but even going out pregnant and not drinking is easier than a night out when the baby is here. But I do completely empathise. And I’ll be honest I don’t think I’ve ever got any semblance of a social life the way it was before back and my DD is 2. Time away means organising childcare, plus the ins and outs of making sure she’s sorted and happy, has everything she needs. When she was younger it was also things like pumping whilst away from her for more than a few hours. And parenting with a hangover is awful.
Your social life now will be different, there’s no point pretending it won’t, BUT what you do for fun and the things you find fun will change. Lovely family days out to places I’d never have had a reason to go to before are so enjoyable now, particularly now DD is a bit older and engaged and talkative.
The first 5 or so years with young kids are the trenches. Your time will come again where you have more freedom and time to do the things you enjoy, but things will be different for you for a while. And it’s normal and you are not alone in it.

Is there a reason you've not gone out with your friends? Just because you're not drinking that doesn't mean your social life needs to stop! I'm 24 weeks pregnant with my first and I'm still going out socialising as normal. There are really good AF options now so I can have a "beer" with friends and not feel left out. Sure, drunk people are a little more annoying than when I'm sober but another plus side is I can always drive everywhere and make an early exit if I start to find the drunken chat tedious. I really think you need to try and carry on as normal as best as you can. As PPs have said, once the baby gets here it will be trickier, but there really is no reason to avoid social occasions at this stage.

Thank you so much for the lovely comments, it's comforting to know that it's not just me.

I did end up going out last night to meet my boyfriend and our friends and I surprisingly really enjoyed my sober night out.

@Mrsttcno1 so true with what you said though about still feeling lonely when surrounded by people. This is a really strange feeling which I've never felt before, but I'm sure it'll all work out and I'll start feeling myself soon x