Baby’s dad not supporting

[Lilybooz]

Hi,

i wanted to come on here to see if anyone can offer some advice. I am 20 weeks pregnant. When I found out my boyfriend said he wanted to me to have an abortion. He lost a child last year which he is still grieving over. I made it clear I was keeping the baby. At first he said he wanted to try and do things right and be together as a family. Things were bad because of my morning sickness and out of the blue he messaged me to say he’s single we’re not together. Since then he has been up and down. He hasn’t been to any of the nhs scan just one I paid for privately or given any financial or emotional support. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the ball to drop and him to step up as he has with his other two children who he sees consistently. I feel like I’m obsessed with the situation and nothing changes. I am so upset, not that we’re not together but the fact he is so hot and cold. I feel like I need to accept it and delete him off all social media etc.. I think he’s also in a new relationship within days. I know he’s a waste of time I am finding it hard to let it go and accept I’m doing it on my own. I have tried speaking with him and get nowhere. Also, his family and other children are not aware I am pregnant. I don’t know if I should tell his family? But I know timing is wrong with him grieving.
any advice thank you

Sounds like timing was also wrong because it was early in a new relationship with not comitment. I would prepare yourself for only getting the min child maintance and no other money or support. Then if you do get anything else it will be a bonus.

I’m sorry OP this must be a lot to cope with. I agree with previous poster that you’d be best trying to accept that you’ll get child maintenance and will be a solo parent, and then anything above that is a bonus. Don’t accept him coming in & out as it suits because it is only going to hurt you that little bit more every time he walks away. He is either in, or out, and once the baby is here he can have those options too.

I think you’re expecting too much. He lost a child with another woman and within a year he’s got you pregnant? It sounds like he wasn’t ready to move on and it was stupid on both of your accounts not to be careful and to get pregnant so early on in the relationship.

He made it clear he didn’t want the baby when he asked you to abort. He’s no longer your boyfriend so I don’t know why you are expecting emotional support and the baby isn’t here yet so I am not sure why you think there should be any financial support, a 20 week on fetus doesn’t require any money spent.

You need to accept that you are doing this alone, that was your choice when you chose to keep the pregnancy with a man you’d only been seeing for months and who you knew didn’t want it. When the baby is born you will be able to claim maintenance and receive financial support that way but you are being naive to expect anything else.

100% agree with MolkosTeenageAngst.

You want the baby. He doesn't. You'll be on your own.

Hi,

im slightly confused. We was in a committed long term relationship and contraception failed.
i was looking for advice and I appreciate that I would probably be on my own even though he is now saying he’s not sure and does want to be with me.
this is a difficult time as it was unplanned and I’ve lost the relationship but no problem.

“20 week fetus” it’s my baby and one he said originally he wanted to be a family with as we had been together long term. I was looking for support online but forget it lol honestly so weird

I think we are confused. You said you were in a long term relationship,yet you said he lost a baby last year,so that's not very long. Unfortunately, you omitted to add that contraception had failed.

His child was 5 years old and split with his mum years ago. I won’t be using this site again because it doesn’t take a lot to be kind.
thanks.

I think it’s really hurtful that someone called your baby a 20 week fetus. That’s not nice