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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant with no money

7 replies

Lolaanonymous · 21/02/2025 21:39

Hi everyone,
this is going to be a long one but i just wanted some advice hoping someone can help me out. Im a 23 year old first time mum who is currently 23 weeks pregnant and although i am still with the babys dad i am having strong thoughts about our relationship and even considering leaving. I lost my job not long after announcing my pregnancy which has been extremely difficult on me financially and mentally and no other jobs seem to not want to take me on (likely due to me being pregnant.) i have been with my partner since i was 20 and throughout our whole relationship he has only ever worked part time which im only now seeing how this is going to be a struggle for us as i had it “easy” as i live at my parents house and do not pay rent so before becoming pregnant this was no issue to me as i had my own income and felt i did not need to rely on him for money and did not think too deeply into our future. He has no drive or ambition in life he stays in bed most days until 12pm which is annoying as i hear my dad & brothers get up every morning and go to work, this has also put a strain on me and my parents relationship as they do not want him laying in there house all day long doing nothing as they only want the best for me and there new grandchild. My parents have told me that once baby comes i can no longer live at home which is understandable as there is not enough space and my two younger brothers are also in the house so its a tight space as it is. My partner has no urgency when it comes to anything and likes to leave things to the very last minute, i have been on and on about us needing to find a flat as soon as possible before baby arrives but anytime i bring it up it causes arguments and he claims that im adding unnecessary stress to his life when he has other things going on. Hes also full of empty promises he told me that at the start of February he'd be starting a new job which would be full time its now coming up to march and hes still not started nor has he bothered to chase it up. We simply can not afford to move out and im not sure what to do as i feel at threat of homelessness and never wanted this life of struggle for myself or my unborn child. When i bring my concerns up to him instead of us talking like grown adults he gets extremely defensive and comes up with a million reasons as to why he is the way he is and that i should accept him for who he is. He is surrounded by the same type of people as his friends are all the same (would rather lay in bed all day then go to work) so he assumes that this lazy life style of his is normal. As much as i love him and want us to be a family i have told him many times that if he doesnt get his act together i will leave but he doesnt take this seriously and accuses me of not loving him enough when i bring it up. My whole family are starting to notice now truely lazy he is and its embarrassing as i always try to give excuses for him. I basically feel like a single parent and have felt like ive had no choice but to go down the route of contacting my local council and have told them i am going to end up homeless soon as i have no where else to stay but i have not heard anything back from them and this was about 2 weeks ago now. I have an obligation to care for my child and if doing this all on my own means putting a roof over my childs head then i will. Has anyone else been in a similar situation of being made at risk of homelessness and if so what was your steps on getting through this tough period?

OP posts:
beAsensible1 · 21/02/2025 21:42

Hi Op just to clarify, you have 1 child and are pregnant with another. Or are pregnant with your first?

Lolaanonymous · 21/02/2025 21:45

beAsensible1 · 21/02/2025 21:42

Hi Op just to clarify, you have 1 child and are pregnant with another. Or are pregnant with your first?

No sorry im pregnant with my first i have no other children

OP posts:
maria2bela1 · 21/02/2025 21:45

Forget him for now. Go to your local housing department/council. Go alone, Open a case with them, let them know your parents intend to kick you out when baby arrives so you can get process going now, they should be able to help you until you get on your feet. It seems like your parents are frustrated with your bloke more than you. You should make sure he fully understands that when baby arrives you guys can no longer be there, that you'll be sorting something out for you and baby but he needs to stand on his own 2 feet. There's no softly, he has to accept responsibility. Babies are no joke. They require a lot of attention and you need money. Try and have a word with parents and see if they'll let you stay alone without him. You're better off at home once baby arrives where you have extra pairs of hands etc

Stripeyanddotty · 21/02/2025 21:46

If he left hopefully your parents would reconsider asking you to leave when the baby is born. That’s probably the best solution.

thistlepiedpiper · 21/02/2025 21:47

Sorry op it does sound tough
Would your parents consider letting you stay if your partner moves out?
Have you contacted UC to see what you are entitled to? It wouldn't be much but better than nothing until you sort things out

Stargirl33 · 22/02/2025 00:30

Hi lovely sending a big virtual hug sorry you are going through this good news though get yourself down the council & let them help you it may take some time but just stick with it it will be so worth it & get yourself onto universal credit please don’t feel ashamed get your parents to explain to them about there being no room & that they are evicting you sounds bad but they need to lay it on thick for the council to help you.

As for your boyfriend have a long hard talk with him & ask him to step up tell him you want him to get a job & how is is behaving is unacceptable he needs to step up for you & the baby. Please don’t worry hun everything will be ok I’ve been homeless in the past I wish I stuck it out with the council as they would of helped me but I ended up renting a caravan until I got back on my feet.
I was 23 when I had my first baby it feels lonely & isolating now but trust me stick it out with the council & you will get housing & get universal credit 💕

ReadingRubbish · 22/02/2025 01:17

How far along are you? Might he be depressed? It sounds a very sad situation.

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