When to tell team member I'm pregnant after they have miscarried

[Aroobear]

I'm part of a small team and my team member had a miscarriage last week quite early on. She's been off work since. I've reached 3months pregnant and told my boss before I knew the reason as to why she was off work. My question is I don't know when the best time is to let my colleague know I'm pregnant. I've had a miscarriage previously so I know that there isn't really a best time. I don't know whether to tell her next week whilst she's still off work so she has time to process it away from work and can take more time off if she needs to. Or wait a while til she's back at work and settled but then that could be stressful for her in the middle of projects. I dont want her to feel that everyone knew something she doesnt but also the timing of telling her 2 weeks after her miscarriage is awful. Any advice

Would it be better coming from a third party, so your manager tells her? It gives her chance to process the news, but avoids the immediate social pressure of trying to be pleased for you whilst still feeling sad over her miscarriage.

Also congratulations to you 😊

Congratulations!

Whatever you decide, please don’t tell her in person.

Thanks @TreesOfGreen99 and @tibby00. No I know being through it myself I wouldn't do that. I'd message her. I think I'd rather message her than our boss tell her.

I think there will never be a good time to tell her, so let your manager handle it. Congratulations to you!

I’d wait a few weeks at least.

Although there will never be a good time to tell her, telling her as soon as she's back at work after a miscarriage would be unwise I think. Give it a few weeks I think, unless you are close enough that you think she'll notice.

As someone who has been through miscarriage, I think you are being very thoughtful and I’m sure however you do it, that will be appreciated. I agree that perhaps a message might be best, probably at the same time or slightly before it becomes public knowledge.

congratulations on your pregnancy, hope the next six months go just as well.