The ”right time”

[DaisyPoppy7]

Anyone else reach a certain age and all the “don’t get pregnant, put your career first” comments turn into “have you thought about freezing your eggs?” 🙄

I have reached that point, and whilst I can think of 100 reasons not to have a baby right now, I am fairly sure I’d find 100 more in 5 years time. It feels like such a weird shift to go from one extreme to the next. How have you dealt with it and how have you known when the right time is?

I am in my thirties, in a new job and want to move house in the next 2-3 months. What should I consider before TTC? I think we should start trying once I have been in my role for a year and by that point we would have moved house anyway. Not sure what I’m looking for. Maybe someone to just tell me it will be fine regardless of when it happens?

All this is totally dependent on circumstance. You say you're in your thirties but 31 or 39? Are you in a happy relationship?

The thing that stuck out the most from your post is that you don't really mention whether you want kids at all? Yes we all get to an age where people expect you to but that doesn't mean you have to/should do. If you want them have them, if you don't then don't.

It will be ok. It's not easy for everyone to get pregnant straight away, so maybe think of a window rather than a cut off date. And do not hesitate to get investigations after 6 months. Advocate for yourself. Save £200 per month, so you have options (and start to get used to the extra costs).

There's one thing... length of time in your job can affect stat maternity pay, so look that up as a precaution.

Check out what your work maternity is because sometimes it stipulates how long you have to be with them before enhanced.

I think you know when you're ready. I moved in November 21 and got pregnant in the January. I had been employed by current employer for two years by then.

I had first baby at 32 so wasn't young at all but didn't get any negative comments telling me to freeze my eggs etc. I didn't feel any pressure to have a baby and it was my choice.

32 - I feel like I have time (rightly or wrongly)

In a happy relationship, married and been together years so feel confident we could weather any storm.

We definitely want children, but we have a really lovely life and we have plans. The question will always be when. We are very aware that everyone around us already has their children. That can feel overwhelming when you are not in the same stage of life as friends/ family, and you risk again, being in a different stage of life with them when you do have children but theirs have grown up.

I'm not sure there is ever a 'right time', I had my first when I was 37 and it definitely wasn't good timing. My relationship was new, my divorce was going through but not yet finalised and I was still in recovery from a head injury.
Then covid hit.

Looking back though the timing actually turned out to be just right and I have no regrets at all.

I'm 42 now, married to DD1's dad and DD2 is due next month.

I know exactly what you mean. In reality, I think make sure you've been in your job just kong enough to qualify for all mat benefits. Then go for it. The younger, the better.

It’s a year so we won’t even try before then as a precaution as I’m the main earner. I’ve got savings to cover maternity leave too so finances are covered 🤞🏻

@DaisyPoppy7 sounds like you have it covered! Go on a few holidays you REALLY want to go on that are not child friendly in the next 12 months. Once baby comes along, you're more restricted for a short while. DH and I went hiking in Patagonia and then came home and conceived DS!