When is it depression rather than normal first trimester blues...

[Fluffylizard1]

For the last 2 months I've developed what I can only really describe as depression. Sleeping all the time, no energy to do anything, no motivation to work, feeling completely overwhelmed. I don't even manage to shower most days. I look and feel horrendous. I've just had enough of my life tbh. Everyday is the same and feels relentless.

Obviously it was caused by the exhaustion and nausea of the first trimester but now I feel like those symptoms seem to have passed somewhat and yet the other feelings and issues remain.

What can I even do? Will this pass?

@Fluffylizard1 Oh, OP ❤️ I had difficult days in first trimester but I was always able to feed and shower myself. I was knackered but just felt ill rather than low/empty/overwhelmed. I've had a couple of wobbles since but they go as quickly as they come and I put it down to anxiety and hormones.

I've had periods of depression before pregnancy and self-care always took a backseat, so that was my marker that things were going off-track again. I couldn't enjoy anything and it was like life just wouldn't end. I couldn't see anything past it.

Speak to your GP - I know everyone's experience of pregnancy and depression are different but you don't get medals for either, so chat to a doctor and they can find out where you're at and what they can do to help. It may just be hormones, or it could be that you need a bit of help to get back on track. Either way, you don't need to go through it on your own. ❤️

I'm so sorry you feel like this. Is this your first pregnancy? Did it happen faster than you expected or was a surprise?

I had bad PND after my first was born and this second pregnancy wasn't planned and I felt really lost and overwhelmed especially with the morning sickness. I'm still very tired and feel crap/ill a lot now at 16 weeks but starting to feel more optimistic/positive but i was already taking anti depressants which I think saved my sanity in PND.

Like the previous poster said I was also able to shower and eat so you sound in a lower place. It could be a hormone inbalance and I encourage you to speak to your GP so you can start feeling better ❤️

Thank you for your replies. You’ve both been really kind.

It was planned but I fell pregnant literally immediately, which took me by surprise. It’s my first. It probably sounds ridiculous but I had no idea first trimester would incapacitate me so much. I’d planned for scaling back work when I was heavily pregnant and obviously mat leave but this has taken me by complete surprise. I’m self employed so I can’t take sick leave and I’ve been falling behind so much and upsetting clients with the quality of work. I just stupidly hadn’t prepared for this.

My partner is very kind and supportive but this is still taking its toll on us and I feel like a burden.

I don’t really see what the GP can do. I don’t want to take anti depressants and that’s all they can really offer as I know the waiting list for CBT and talking therapies are so long. I had a bad experience with anti depressants as a teenager so never used them again. I am already taking anti sickness medication which has been helping but I don’t seem to be nauseous anymore. Just feel generally unwell, low energy and no motivation.

First trimester can be really hard and not talked about much. The sickness the exhaustion, the seemingly long road ahead of you. I get it. I’m in second trimester (third baby) and excited to never be pregnant again! The baby arriving is the best bit :)

"I know the waiting list for CBT and talking therapies are so long."

You skip the waiting lists when pregnant, they bump you up to the top :)

Talk to a midwife or health visitor, I promise. Even if just to say how low you feel, you don't even have to say you're depressed. They'll keep an eye on you and refer you to a mental health midwife if needed. I spoke about how I felt and I was told how to self refer for talking therapy if I felt I needed it, but it never progressed to that level.

Hi OP,
First trimester really really sucks (doing it again at the moment and god I had forgotten just how miserable it is). It is absolute the sort of thing, especially when unexpected, that could trigger depression.

There are lots of different ways to define depression (and I’m not a medical professional) but I found when I had it (long before and unrelated to pregnancy) it stood out as ‘unreasonable’ sadness, low energy etc. Feeling like that most days, even when doing something I would normally enjoy. Or feeling tired even when well rested (tricky in pregnancy that one but if you’re past wk12 and still feeling that maybe). Your description sounds like depression to me.

I would really encourage you to both mention it to your midwife and speak to a GP. It can be difficult when depressed to notice things getting worse and if it gets too far the barriers to getting support may feel insurmountable. Better to ask for help now, even if that help is just regular check ups, than let yourself spiral.
And of course, looking after yourself now is also looking after baby.

Take care, stay strong, absolutely lean on your partner (you are after all growing his baby, and it’s bloody hard work).