Second pregnancy - anxious and upset

[2612S]

Hello, we have recently found out that we are expecting no.2, this was planned, a let’s see what happens… I did not expect to fall pregnant so quickly and now I am in a terrible state. I feel quite down and scared. How will I cope with two under 2? I honestly feel like I have ruined our life. I absolutely love my life with my son, he is my best friend and we have the most fun. I am a SAHM. Genuinely feel devastated (a very strong emotion I know) but my son is my priority. It’s also made worse in that I wasn’t expecting to feel this so feel guilty and teary all day.

I've read a lot of women feel like this! I'm having my first baby and after a loss earlier this year we were desperate to fall pregnant again. But once we did, I had this kind of sad feeling that our life will completely change. It won't just be me and my partner, we can't just be as spontaneous and just drop everything and go on trips or whatever. But honestly the want for this little boy is so much stronger and we're so excited now. Hopefully it passes for you soon OP!

Can you speak to your partner about how you're feeling? Any family? I think talking about it with close ones would definitely help. But rest assured, I've seen a LOT of women feel like this when they get their BFP. You're not alone!!

I felt exactly like this. We had planned for this baby, and I was disappointed each time I didn’t fall pregnant, but as soon as I got the positive test result I got a flood of anxiety and guilt. I felt all of what you’re feeling, and felt soooo guilty that my daughter would not be our only child anymore (she’s the absolute centre of our world), and I felt that I couldn’t possibly share my time and love, and that I’d spoilt our little family unit that we all love so much. BUT, I spoke to my partner and he was the sane voice of reason and helped to calm me whenever I’d spiral. Then after a few days, after I’d digested I felt so much better and started looking forwards to all of the positives and the reasons why we wanted to bring another child into our family. The feeling of anxiety and guilt faded, and then seeing our little baby on the 12 week scan was amazing, and when we told our daughter that she was going to be a big sister, her little face beamed and she said ‘it’s just what I’d wished for’ 🥹 and it solidified everything for me and I’ve been looking forwards ever since.

I hope that sharing this might help ease your worries that it is completely normal to feel everything that you’re feeling, it is a big change and you’re allowed to feel that. I hope that as you digest your news your worries start to ease, but please talk to your partner if you’re able to, a close friend, or a midwife as it helps to talk things out.