Pregnant with an IUD

[newrelationship]

Just found out I'm pregnant. Total shock to the system as I've had an IUD (Mirena) in place for a few years now. Although can't remember when it was placed, thinking about 6/7 years ago. Will speak to my GP tomorrow. Im also almost 40 so aware there may be issues.

The issue I'm having is the father is my ex. We broke up suddenly about 3 weeks ago, wasn't a long term thing (3/4 months) and he ended it after a stupid misunderstanding. I tried to reach out to him since but he's basically said it's done for him. Now I'm worried about telling him about the pregnancy, I don't want him to think I've planned this or that it's a lie to try and win him back. But I also want him to know.

When we got together he made it clear he didn't want any more kids (has 3 already 16,18,21) and I was ok with this. I don't have any of my own. Previous miscarriage and toxic relationship meant I never wanted to try again. Had accepted the fact it likely wouldn't happen anyway.

I think I just need to know could this pregnancy be viable? Should I tell him now or wait until I've seen a professional? I'm not even sure he hasn't blocked me or will even answer my call and don't feel I should do this over text.

Yes the pregnancy could be viable. What do you want to do?

I always thought if I got pregnant I would be in a stable relationship. Being a single mum terrifies me.
But at the same time I'm really excited about it as I never thought it would happen for me. I just don't know if I'm financially or mentally able to cope alone.

I also never wanted to be a mum if I'm totally honest. I was always of the opinion if it happens it happens but if not I'm not too fussed. My career and being selfish always won, nice cars, house, holidays etc.
Then when I miscarried I was devastated and realised it was something I did want but with the right person (my ex that I miscarried with was not him and why I never tried again with him). I lost 13 years of my life to that man. Then being older and starting afresh I thought nah it will never happen. I'm too old now to get into the stable relationship to then think about pregnancy.

Hi. Congrats on the pregnancy.

For the time being you need to think about yourself and yourself only. Forget about anyone else / any outside noise.

Do not base your decision on someone else being in the picture or not as people are unreliable.

I was in a similar position. Unexpected and not with the father of my child but I’ve decided to progress with the pregnancy due to my age.

Even though I am worried about potentially doing it alone but ultimately I am happy.

I hope it all works out for you, whatever you decide x

Congratulations OP

Pregnancy is scary and exciting and scary again even when you are in a stable relationship and it was planned. Give yourself some time.

Your hormones will be everywhere and it's unexpected.
Be kind to yourself and you'll know what you want to do x

Congratulations op I hope all is well. I am concerned as there is a higher risk of miscarriage with iud conception. See your doctor as soon as possible. I would suggest sitting on any announcement to ex until you see your doctor as I’m assuming he would not be supportive to you right now. Is there someone else who can be supportive?

I read about the risks with IUD and pregnancy, this is why I want to make sure everything is ok ASAP. I also miscarried a few years back so the fear is real.

Part of me thinks he would be supportive but I'm just not sure.

It's tough as we weren't together long and I don't want him thinking I done this to trap him.

You know it was failed contraception and that is all you need to say. You were using a highly reliable contraceptive and yet you are at 40 pregnant. It does happen. I’m holding good thoughts for you. You may enjoy being a single mum very much.

I’d wait and if you get past 3 months then let him know, otherwise it’s an avoidable likely drama with him.