What do I need for the baby as first time mom

[Alegra8176]

I know this is asked all the time but I'm not sure what I need as first time mum. I managed to create the below list based on ...some reading but it may be not very accurate so any help please is appreciated

What i plan to buy:
Cot ( I liked one that can become a todler bed)
Pram - with carrycot and seat for later
Pajamas ( will be summer so I suppose baby can go out also wearing those ?)
Nappies, some sort of rash cream and bath gel
Bottles and milk if i can't breastfeed
Some small toys ?
Something to put on top of chest of drawers to change
Some hygiene things like brush, small scissor and stuff

I don't plan to get the below:
Sling - with good pushchair I don't see the point)
Baby monitor / noise machine - small flat no need for monitor
Fancy tiny outfits that will be worn once
Wet wipe warmer
Fancy changing bags ( any bag can be changing bag)
Car seat as I don't drive or have a car.

If you really want to EBF then don't bother with the formula because tbh at my lowest ebb of cluster feeding I'd have used it, and I'm SO glad I didn't. It can always be bought immediately if you really need it.

Bouncer chairs stay on the floor, and are very handy to have somewhere more upright to put the baby while I ate dinner.

Get a cheap wrap sling used on Vinted. if baby needs to be close when they're very young it gives you your freedom back. I underestimated how much my little boy would need to be physically touching me at all times. I bought a lovely moses basket for at home during the day 😆 biggest waste of money ever for him. A sleepyhead and a fabric sling was better for those early days. Then after that he was happy on rugs on the floor or on me. Helped him get mobile

two of my babies got reflux and actually liked sitting up in their chair it helped

Oh and btw we didn't need a Moses basket. We used the Next2Me crib upstairs (then moved to cosleeping, but either way they must be in the room with you for the first six months) and downstairs we used the pram carrycot.

In terms of nappy rash cream I find just Vaseline to be best and most gentle. We've actually barely used any creams though and my daughter is 18 months old. So don't go mad. You can always buy more.

I just sat mine on my knee, held them or put them in a sling to be more upright.

A lot of people falling over themselves to say bouncy chairs are essential though, so obviously I'm a bit unusual!

Congratulations, OP! Enjoy this time, getting ready for welcoming your baby.

To add to your list, and everyone else’s suggestions so far, here’s a few from me.

• I bought a BabyBjorn bouncer and a Maxi-Cosi electric swing. Baby preferred the swing under 3 months as it was a higher position and a better fit for his size. But the BabyBjorn bouncer is great now he’s nearly 6 months, and he loves the toy bar on it. It’s also great for folding up and taking to other people’s houses when we visit them. If I could only buy one, I’d go for the BabyBjorn bouncer as it’s suitable for 0-2years and most others are only 0-6months (including the swing we have).
• If your home isn’t open-plan, then a newborn highchair is great for in the kitchen. We shopped around for the best deal and went for the Tripp Trapp but (much!) cheaper options are available. We use it everyday. Really helpful for when we’re cooking and eating. Gets baby involved with meal times nice and early on too.
• Some sort of tummy time pillow/toy.
• Books! Get a few classics to read to baby early on - We’re Going on a Bear Hunt and The Tiger That Came to Tea etc - plus a cloth book for baby.
• Toys don’t really get played with much until around 3+ months when they start to grab, so you won’t need many to start with.
• Vests to go under the sleepsuits on cooler summer days. A blanket or two for the pram on cooler days too, although you won’t need a pram suit in the summer.
• A portable changing mat - personally, I prefer a backpack for a changing bag.
• Don’t bother with a Moses basket. Just check your carrycot attachment for the pram is safe for sleeping and you can use that. Either on the floor, or you could get a stand for it. We got a stand for ours which was really helpful to reduce bending post c-section!
• At least 3 sets of sheets and mattress protectors for both the carrycot of your pram and the next to me cot.
• If you do end up formula feeding, the Nuby rapid cool is cheaper (and safer) than a formula prep machine.
• The Milton cold water steriliser is a safe, cheap option. We started with this but did end up getting a UV steriliser as we wanted a drying function in the end. But we still use the Milton steriliser occasionally for teething toys that have been launched on the floor!
• a baby bath tub
• we didn’t get on with a sling but a soft newborn carrier was really helpful for when needing to be hands-free both around the house and also out and about. I kept it in the car because I found it quicker and easier than using the pram when popping into shops.

I don't see anyone "falling over themselves" - the OP asked what might he useful and some people have said they found a bouncer chair useful.

My most used items were probably the sling and babybjorn bouncer.

I used pram a lot, he napped in carrycot part also. But there’s so many times a sling was easier. Many places have only stairs, if I went waking in woods even out all terrain pram only works on the flat paths, uphill too heavy. If I needed things to fit in car boot like trips to ikea or garden centre then pram stayed at home. I used sling a lot at home also for things like watering garden, planting, basic cleaning or food prep, popping out bins etc.

Babybouncer was for any other times at home when I needed to not hold baby. Like using hot kettle or stove, having shower, eating meal.

Unless you have a really easy baby, most won’t just be put down happy on floor or in pram. I used to take sling out also with pram often, as Ds was only happy if pram being pushed fast when young. So if in say supermarket browsing and he was away he would scream unless held so it was easier to put in sling

Also we had a next to me. I found it rubbish. Annoying that I couldn’t move to downstairs, annoying getting in and out bed with it in the way. And Ds could sit and pull himself up by 4 months so then it was useless as dangerous as he could topple out. I should have bought a snuz Moses basket a sehen I could have moved around house and garden, and then cot.

I don't see the point of change tables- it felt so much safer on the floor, and I liked the little plastic ones I could then tuck out of sight under the TV or behind a cupboard when not in use.

Pro tip- buy a cheap hand towel to put over the plastic changing mat when on the floor. This is less cold against their skin so they don't fuss so much, and will stop any wee running off if they go when the cold air triggers them!

She’s asking for suggestions and advice, perhaps suggest something she’d find useful

Another vote for reconsidering your position on slings. You're thinking of it just as a way of walking with them and I can see why you'd think you would just use a pram instead. However, I lost count of the number of times I had to carry mine home in the sling, pushing the pram, because she wouldn't stop screaming. They just want to be close to you.

Even if yours loves the pram, a sling would be so useful for getting things done in the house. It's also healthy for babies to be in different positions so they don't develop a flat spot on their heads.

I know you said you're not sure you're strong enough but if you get a good supportive sling it's fine. I've never been a gym goer and I can still carry my 80th centile 2.5yo. I think I saw a PP recommending a sling library which I'd echo as they can help you choose a good one (hip-healthy unlike almost all Baby Bjorn ones) and teach you how to do it safely.

I’m not that poster but in our case we have to hold him and eat with one hand.

He’s never gone down in the Moses basket etc. He just cries if we put him in the bouncer! So much wasted money in all these things…

Sadly I never got on with a sling. Faff to put on and take off and it would be 50/50 as to whether he cried in it or not.

@greenorangeo that is the problem with babies - you never know what they are going to like 😂
It can be very trial and error.
The good thing is baby equipment can be borrowed or bought relatively cheap secondhand so you can give something a go and if baby hates it - you can pass it on/re sell
(except car seats and cot mattresses).
I never got on with a baby sling either - I remember passing it on to a friend.

The baby box given free in Scotland is a good list of useful things for first baby, worth having a google at what’s in it.

I have a stand for my carrycot, makes another place to put them down without needing a Moses basket etc.

My biggest tip is to buy as little as possible, but to set aside some cash so that you don’t feel any guilt about buying what you discover you need once the baby arrives.

Your plans go out the window once you actually have a baby with his or her own opinions. Even a newborn will let you know that they hate every sleep-suit but one or that the pram sure looks pretty but if you try to use it she will turn into the spawn of Satan.

Trying to remember what we got right at the start...

Had a hospital bag with nappies, cotton wool pads, few vests and sleep suits, muslins, blanket, and had a car seat sorted.

Infant car seat could be attached to the pram we bought. Didn't bother with bassinet as the pram had a lie-flat function so seemed unnecessary.

Planned to breastfeed so didn't get anything else for feeding. Decided we could get what we needed if breastfeeding wasn't successful. Got a few haakaas which turned out to be absolutely invaluable. Didn't bother getting a pump.

We also had...

Steriliser (shouldn't have bothered)
Plenty of muslins (much needed!)
Sudocreme (essential!)
Metanium (sadly they don't make this anymore)
Breastmilk bags (froze lots of let-down from the haakaas)
Totter & Tumble playmat (great for nappy changes, then later on for tummy time and crawling, and still much loved and needed at 3 years old)
Baby bath and gentle baby wash (think it was the burst bees one)
Little hooded towels and soft wash cloths
Plenty of cotton wool pads for nappy changes (later switched to sensitive baby wipes after the newborn stage)
Next to me crib
Little bouncer seat
Rocking chair (have loved this so much)

Things we didn't bother with...

Larger cot (got this when they had outgrown the next to me. Got a cot bed to do until age 4)
Changing table (totally unnecessary)
Moses basket
Changing bag (I've always just used my own rucksack)

Agree with @Ponderingwindow buy as little as possible. Your list is pretty sensible already, I would only add a baby bath (Skip hop) if you don’t have a bathtub or a plastic net thing (Angel care) to support baby in your bathtub.

I had my first in a tiny flat as well, so no need for changing unit (just the plastic changing mat put on top of drawers), no cot (no space), no baby monitor, no nappy bin. If you’re planning on breastfeeding, buy Sunflower lecithin for those early clogged milk ducts days. If that doesn’t work out, then you can look at bottles and sterilise equipment later. Lots of sleepsuits though - mine lived in those for the first 6 months, no need for any fancy outfits.

Be prepared for how much cuddles the baby will need! Mine basically lived in my arms for the first 4 months. Congratulations!

Will be with a black cab so I can put the whole pram in there I don't see any issues
Baby will sleep in the cot I will buy also I see no issues here - I have small flat with bedroom and open plan kitchen I won't be having beds everywhere. Maybe it is just me but I don't see the need to watch the baby every second of every minute especially when they sleep.

You don't need to watch a baby every second but the guidance is that they should sleep in the same room as you (for day time sleeps as well as night time) for the first 6 months.

Guidance is all sleeps in the same room as an adult for the first 6m. Newborns cannot sleep in another room on and off all day while you are not in that room. It's SIDS 101.

@Alegra8176 Seriously get a car seat. There will be times when you need to dash with the baby to the doctors etc (by taxi, neighbours car, best friends car) and you can't necessarily take your pram with you.
You can get basic ones for about £50.
Much more important than things like muslin cloths which many people insist is "essential" but I never used once.

I understand well the cot is on wheels so it should be fine to move around then

Will be with a black cab so I can put the whole pram in there I don't see any issues

Ah that's fair enough then. If and when you do find you need one in the future, amazon delivery quick enough.