Working in first trimester... how are other women doing this?

[Fluffydino21]

After struggling on for 3-4 weeks now and falling increasingly behind at work I've finally bit the bullet and decided to take at least 1 week off sick. Maybe I'm an idiot but I honestly had no idea first trimester would be this difficult. I feel nauseous 24/7, it's been like a 6 week hangover EVERY DAY so far. And I'm 8 weeks tomorrow and have heard 8-9 weeks are the peak sickness wise.

I feel so guilty for taking time off and like I'm just rubbish at being pregnant. I feel like I'm failing in every area of my life and letting every single person down from my partner to my dog to friends to colleagues.

Every other pregnant woman I've ever known at work has just come in as normal for 12 weeks and until they announced their pregnancy I had no idea they were even pregnant they seemed to manage so well.

Are other women just built of tougher stuff than me? How are you all doing this?!

Don't feel guilty. I literally felt like I was dying 🫣🫣🫣
Thankfully I'm self employed so could adjust my workload accordingly, but after the school run I'd get back into bed every day!

Try sipping lucozade, eating whatever takes your fancy, and see the GP for meds if you need to. Would highly recommend Xonvea

I'm sure some of the HG ladies on here will be along to tell you that, no, not all women find it easy. I didn't need time off but felt like shit for weeks. I always thought it was so cruel that the exact time you need lots of support and sympathy is the time when no one knows what's going on for you. By second baby I just told some work pals though, which isn't for everyone but helped me having a place to moan. You've done the right thing taking the time - don't spoil your time by beating yourself up.

Nausea and sickness varies hugely from person to person so it might be your colleagues were just not suffering as much.

It can also vary hugely between pregnancies - with DD1, i was sick 3x per day every day until 22w. It was during covid so I was able to work fully from home which made things a lot easier. With DD2 I had no sickness at all - just a lot of nausea until around 11w whilst travelling (the smell of the tube really set me off 🤢) so I told my boss, and he let me reduce my office days down to once per week. But i didn't feel half as bad as I had done with DD1 and if I'd been able to get to work another way, id have been able to carry on as usual.

I found nibbling on things like dry crackers, plain cheese sandwiches throughout the day kept the sickness at bay better than sticking to my usual meal schedule. I felt like mine was definitely linked to low blood sugar.

I started with very debilitating nausea from around week 6 which, unfortunately, has continued upto now (nearly 17 weeks). I took medication to begin with but ended up stopping it around 8 weeks and continued without any medication, even though the nausea remained the same. I managed each day by trying different approaches. I found eating little bits often helped, sucking mints and drinking sugar-based drinks in between water (I really went off water) - specifically orange Capri-suns. It was about creating a strict routine and sticking to it. At 16.5 weeks, I’m still struggling with nausea and the delightful new symptom of heartburn which is causing me to cough a lot and retch. I keep focused on each hour of each day and not feeling bad for not enjoying a single second of the pregnancy. Getting through each day means one day closer to the end. I hope you find some relief in the coming weeks but please do manage your expectations better than I did. I was hoping to hit week 12 and feel like a new person which a month on still hasn’t happened and now I have finally accepted that this could be how I feel for the remaining pregnancy.

Be kind to yourself! People’s experiences vary enormously - I had very little nausea or tiredness, and when I did it could be staved off by snacking on crisps or peanuts or anything beige. I didn’t tell colleagues until almost 18 weeks!

I think most important thing is to try and not compare yourself to others. Be kind to yourself, take whatever time you need. I had severe sickness and nausea and was signed off for 7 weeks. I didn’t worry or stress to much about work to be honest as I felt so poorly it was the last thing on my mind. I work for a large organisation and I know they cope without me so I guess that helped with the guilt too. Work is important but you are more important. I am 18 weeks now and still have days where I feel awful but things are better. I am able to work through when I’m feeling poorly as it’s nowhere near as bad as it was. For me, there was an improvement around 16 weeks. Hang in there, and do whatever you can do get through it x

I used to sleep in my car every lunch time, I was so ill, just sort of lumbered through the day. I was a contractor so couldn't be signed off.

@Fluffydino21 I felt basically broken most of the time. Cyclizine helped a bit with sickness but made me so drowsy I couldn't concentrate, and I didn't get on with the other sickness meds. So I was either sick or tired.

I told my (lovely, understanding, mum-of-two) manager at 6 weeks. We told her manager as a backup. I'm lucky - I wfh and have a lot of autonomy - but basically I took a lot of breaks, skipped/rearranged meetings that were first thing in the morning or at the end of the day, and just tried to look conscious whenever I was on a call. Work took me twice as long, so my manager helped me tell people my capacity was reduced. Telling her early was the best thing I ever did.

FYI that if you tell work and take time off for sickness, they can't use it against you (you won't hit trigger points for disciplinary or anything). So take the time off when you need it. ❤️ And take it as easy as you can. I'm 20 weeks and feel a bit more human these days so it may get brighter! 🌈 (No glow yet, though. I think the glow may be bullshit.)

OP you’re not alone. I’m feeling the same and I’m only just under 6 weeks! I’m nauseous but no vomiting yet so I have no idea how I’m going to manage this when the vomiting starts. I’m absolutely exhausted and would agree with your hangover description. I travel quite a bit with my job (most weeks, including overseas) and I have no idea how I’m going to manage. I’ve been away for work 2 days this week, went into the office yesterday and was meant to be away today but I’ve had to admit defeat and work from home instead. Have you told your manager that you’re pregnant? I ended up telling mine, even though it’s so early, because I feel so crap and he’s been really understanding. It might be worth considering.

I used to nibble ginger biscuits at frequent intervals… hang in there it passes.

Mine lasted until 17 weeks but it’s different for everyone.

if it’s really bad though ask your midwife / GP for support as it can be horrendous for some people.

I felt exactly the same as you every time. When I heard women saying ginger biscuits helped them I wondered what on earth was wrong with me that made my experience so different . I felt a lot of guilt about time off work too

Get in touch with your GP. If it's so bad that you need time off work it's bad enough for anti-sickness meds. With DD I was only sick once or twice the whole pregnancy, had some nausea but it was bearable if I ate.

With this pregnancy (a DS) I was being sick 10+ times a day from 7 weeks. Xonvea made a huge difference - it didn't take away the nausea but I felt at least like I could leave the house.

Thankfully for both I've worked 100% remotely. If I didn't, I would have had to be signed off from weeks 7-15 of this pregnancy!

I took 3 weeks off sick. From week 6-8 I was absolutely awful. The nausea was terrible, I was exhausted and I couldn't eat without feeling sick, but I'd also feel sick if I ate so I was just constantly ill and with no energy. From week 9 I felt a bit better, but I still took the week off just to try to get my energy up and get used to things. I'm week 11 now and still feeling sick, I'm a lot better than I was, but honestly if I could've took the whole first trimester off I would've.

I felt the same, though, thinking I'm just being dramatic. There's another girl at work who's pregnant, she's about 6 months along now, but she seemed like she was doing fine. Last year another girl at work was pregnant and she was just working through it all up until 8 months, I think she only had one day off. But everyone's different, I suppose, and some people have it better or worse. At the end of the day, I knew I wasn't well enough for work. I work in a warehouse and it's quite physically demanding. The toilets are quite far as well so if I felt like I was gonna throw up there was no way I would have made it in time. Just got to do what feels best for you and the baby

This is worrying 😔 I feel like I’m struggling to hang on until the 3 month mark. I don’t know how I’d manage another 6 months!

I’ve been prescribed some which I’m planning to start tomorrow but I’m a bit nervous about taking it. It doesn’t seem to be one of the usual anti sickness meds in pregnancy that I’ve seen mentioned

That’s exactly how I have felt but somehow you find a way to get through each day. I’ve found focusing on each day passing by has helped a lot, alongside distractions. Work is keeping me busy, trying to get out for a bit of fresh air and enjoying watching some new series. For most people, it does get easier after the first trimester, I’d say more accurately around 16 - 20 weeks from most I’ve heard. Hang tight!

I’m actually self employed and work with 4-5 clients at any one time so that makes it a bit more complicated 😕 and also not entitled to any sick pay.

I’ll take on less work for the remainder of the pregnancy but all this work I’m doing now was booked in long before I fell pregnant.. it’s very tricky.

Been trying to power through but unfortunately can’t do it anymore and will sadly have to let some clients down.

Thank you all for being so honest and kind! I feel like this is a challenge women tend to keep to themselves which has made me feel like a failure.

As I mentioned above, I’m self employed which is a big complication in taking time off / asking for flexibility.

Remember you a growing a human being!!!

I’ve been so sick and exhausted since the time I tested positive.
Horrible morning sickness but all day. I would describe it as having the worst hangover every single day and no matter what I do and how much sleep I get I wake up the next morning wanting to crawl up and go back to bed.
i carry sick bags around with me which helps with the worry of throwing up in public.

I’ve been lucky that my boss has allowed me to start work later and the team have been understanding.

ive had to work away and I’ve decided to cut this short as I cannot take another event/evening. I feel so guilty but I just can’t do it.
i feel it’s accumulative so if I have a day or two of full on days it destroys me.

do not feel guilty at all!

I puked on my boss's desk at 7 weeks. She thought I had a bug and wanted to send me home for 48 hours, I explained I was pregnant not ill. She still sent me home for the day though!

My immediate team all switched to drinking out of travel mugs as the smell of coffee was an instant boak from me, and I was switched off the tea making rota for the same reason.

I went onto meds at about 8 weeks, and took a week off at 11 weeks as I literally couldn't move without a bucket nearby.

At 12.5 weeks it was like a switch flicked and I could do everything except clean my teeth without puking. That lasted until she was about 6 weeks old.

I’m 7.5 weeks and just got signed off for 2 weeks. I didn’t want to but relieved I have. I’ve started Cyclizine which makes me exhausted so I need some time to sleep.

I had crippling sickness with my daughter. Nausea and vomiting was my first sign at 4 weeks which prompted me to test.
When I saw the midwife for my booking appointment i discussed the nausea/vomiting and was told it was completely normal and expected.
I took this as gospel and just went with it, but it was horrendous. My work suffered majorly. I was late most days because I couldnt stop being sick and wretching in the bathroom.
I had to drive to work with a bucket on the passenger seat which I would have to empty at work before I even started my job.
Every smell made me gag and I could rarely stomach a lunch break, let alone any snacks.

At my 20 week scan I was late because I was constantly vomiting in the car. The sonographer was lovely, said I looked terrible and that I should speak to my GP.
Something my midwife never suggested.

At 22 weeks I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis and was put on medication.
It helped. It didnt stop the nausea or vomiting, but it improved and I could eat maybe 2 meals a day finally.
My HG didnt stop until my daughter was born. And it literally vanished. It was amazing!
I weighed less at full term pregnant than I did when i got pregnant. Insane.

Im newly pregnant again. I have nausea, i gag when i brush my teeth and 6pm is a predictable time to feel sick, but its different so far.

Dont suffer in silence, get medicated, take time off and do whatever you need to do.

It’s nothing got do with being tougher or superior, it’s just luck.

I never had a single symptom of pregnancy. If I hadn’t missed periods, I’d never have known. No nausea, no tiredness - absolutely nothing.

2 of my sisters were as sick as dogs for weeks every time.

Don't feel guilty.... I had an unplanned pregnancy at 42, some 14 years since my last one.... I had 4 previous pregnancies that I sailed through.... the last one was horrendous x

I am a primary school teacher and I honestly didn't work much of the academic year.

I really hope that the sickness subsides soon x

Congratulations too xx 😘

It’s been used in two parts in the USA and Canada for years it’s a first line drug. It’s just an antihistamine and vitamin B6 made into one tablet now.
I had HG so had to take odansetron. I have to say nothing I took touched the nausea at all but it did help lessen the amount of times per day I was vomiting. I was constantly eating to prevent being sick. It did help a little.

I was signed off for a couple of months or so with my first, I went back part time and was often sick at work.
my second baby I was off from 5 weeks and couldn’t go back at all. I really wouldn’t worry about taking time off! :)