Weight gain and body image issues

[Sana12]

Hello! Let me start this by saying that I've been looking forward to this and we've been trying for over a year to get pregnant. I've spent most of my life slightly overweight and dealing with low self esteem attributed to my curves and thick waist. I'm just over 5ft so all the weight I gain settles around my stomach and thighs and was always hard for me to ignore when looking in the mirror.
I somehow lost loads of weight at the beginning of last year, not having done anything too different, and for the first time i actually enjoyed dressing up in tighter clothes and feeling slim and sexy. Thay lasted for a whole 4 months. I noticed in September my appetite grew and I started gaining weight- turns out I was newly pregnant! Wonderful! Except now im 21 weeks in and I've regained all the weight I've ever lost plus some. I know the baby is there, I just can't shake the self consciousness out of my head because my bump doesn't look much like a baby bump, just a big belly with ever thickening thighs to match. I'm really struggling to not slide back into negativity about my body over the last couple of weeks. I was hoping that the further along I'd get that the more pregnant I would look but I'm half way and it's not really happened yet. I'm not really sure what to expect or how to manage my feelings about this. I know it's a silly thing to complain about and I feel guilty for obsessing over this. I guess I just wanna know if anyone else has had similar feelings and how did you deal with it? I want to be able to just get over it already and I'm not really sure who to talk to about it.

Solidarity! I really struggle with this. I’ve never been overweight but have suffered from eating disorders. This stage is really tough because you don’t necessarily look obviously pregnant yet… I keep telling people I meet that I’m pregnant really quickly so that they don’t think I’m just fat.

the worst bit is my (now) enormous boobs. They’re like some sort of porny, disgusting fetish boobs and they completely gross me out.

I felt the same but at some point the pregnancy became such hard work and my bump was so obvious in my third trimester, I didn't care anymore. 21 weeks is hard because you don't look obviously pregnant yet.

My weight gain slowed right down in my 3rd trimester anyway. All the weight I put on was actually the baby and my obgyn said that's very normal, especially if you put on a bit more in your first trimester.

I found the second trimester the hardest for this as didn't look obviously pregnant, just bloated and overweight!
As uncomfortable as it may be physically, it's easier mentally in the third trimester when you have a big unmistakable baby bump!

I'm sorry. It's annoying how we are expected to just take the body changes in our stride and not complain. All you can hope is that the hunger/weight gain settles.

The last few days I've been worried about weight gain, bought on by many older women I know going "around 17/18 weeks i started piling on the pounds". This prompted me to watch what I eat, a few days in a row I've tried not to go over 2000 calories, having three big but healthy meals, and fruit and protein snacks, and honestly my head is pounding, I feel so weak like I've been on an extreme calorie deficit. So unfortunately I'm just accepting that me and my baby must need more than 2000 calories a day, and I just have to listen to my body and accept the consequences 😪

It got better for me around 26 weeks when I got a very obvious bump rather than just feeling fat

Pregnancy and the post-partum period can be really tricky in terms of body image.

Please focus on the positive actions you can take to keep you and your baby well. Plenty of brisk walking, pregnancy yoga, swimming, all fantastic and you will be doing both of you the world of good.
Focus on nutrients into your body rather than controlling calories. You have been growing a placenta and are continuing to grow a tiny human being. Now is not the time to worry about fitting into smaller clothes. Focus on health and positive actions. And absolutely do not buy into any nonsense about snapping back.

I had also struggled with weight and body image. Until I was about 6/7 months post partner I still felt like a bowl of jelly.

I wish I'd just done more walking and swimming and yoga at a comfortable pace to keep the blood oxygen up and relax and feel strong.