My gf left me the day before our first scan

[Sparks1986]

Hello, I am pregnant with my second donor child. I have a 7yo from the same donor. I had always wanted a second child but was afraid it would all be too much. However, my girlfriend was very encouraging, we’d only been together for 6 months but because I am 38 , I thought I’d better get a move on. Anyhow, it worked first time. My girlfriend left me for reacting mildly stronger than usual to things. I was in shock for a few days as she’d seemingly been so attentive and reassuring, then suddenly left. Anyhow, we’ve spoke. Since and since becoming afraid of her reasons, I agree we shouldn’t be together. Anyway, I don’t really want to go into the detail just feeling a bit lost and low, also so much more scared of the birth second time around. Was mostly hoping for some support, or others around 6-7 weeks pregnant or those doing it alone that maybe want to connect and be friends? Not sure if that’s possible on this site. I’m UK based. Thanks for reading.

Didn't wanna read and run, sending you a hug! Break ups are awful anyway but with the extra hormones, it must be hard. I will say that's super responsible of you to recognise you shouldn't be together and not just get back together so you're not doing it solo!

I'm not a solo parent so I can't honestly empathise but I'm sending you all of the positive vibes your way my friend!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm not sure if this is something you were planning on doing but don't put her on the birth certificate and give someone you've been with 6 months legal access to a child that is not theirs. I know someone who did this and their life was made hell.

I think you acted far too quickly in involving her. You didn't really know her well enough. Were you going to rely on her financially in order to make it all work?

Can you put a same sex partner on the birth certificate?

If they’re both the legal parents then yes!

I didn’t realise that I thought it had to be the biological parents.

Donor sperm & donor eggs don’t go onto birth certificates generally (I’m sure there are ‘known’ donor situations that do, but not anonymous via clinics)

My ex also left me while pregnant as apparently I was too stressful and anxious and I completely changed. It's so so so so awful at your most vulnerable time but I promise you'll be ok, if this person can't support you now when you need love and kindness they were never going to be a good child.
You have lots of time to make a plan for support for yourself when baby is here. You can do this. At least she is not biologically related to your child so won't give you hell with family court etc. your child will have a little sibling what a blessing you're giving them someone to love and be friends with forever even after you're gone x

Ps please tell your midwife everything they will help
You x

I'm sorry but are you happy to have this baby alone ?

Your ex GF has no ties at all to this child so she will probably have no contact with it at all.

Almost a quote from my own mouth, exactly that if you can’t trust them to be around at your most vulnerable and be by your side, how can you trust them with your child. Sending love and thanks for your message x

I was having some doubts before she ended it that this was the right choice of parent for my child. Now it’s over and with other behaviours I’ve witnessed and reflected on then I am glad I am doing this alone. Are you pregnant now or has your baby been born? Is your ex gf involved at all? I personally want nothing to do with her. It would be nice to have support and a companion but I am very capable and independent when needs be. Thanks for the message big love x

Call your midwife and ask for support for single parents in your area.