TTC Baby #2 and struggling

[Ilovetobake2]

Hi

My husband and I have been TTC for over a year now. This is month 13 and AF is due in a few days. We already have a DD and I don't for one second lose sight of how lucky we are to have her. We conceived her on our second try and so this is a new experience for me and I'm finding it tough. It feels like all my friends are pregnant (most of my friends are mum friends so naturally at that stage of life) and I can't seem to escape the pregnancy announcements. I've had blood tests done and all came back normal. Also had a scan of my ovaries done and all normal. My husband is awaiting testing. Just feeling really deflated and starting to lose hope that our DD will ever have a sibling :(

Does anyone have any advice/words of encouragement/positive stories to share?

Thanks so much xx

I think the big reassuring thing for you in all this would be that you conceived once before without any issue. Perhaps your expectations are slightly distorted because of this, and I’m sure you’ll conceive again. It can take some women many years to get pregnant, others will conceive first cycle of trying. There are variables at play, of course, but you have been told everything looks normal and well. Conception is often a game of luck, right time, right month, right moment. Don’t be despondent, be hopeful instead and just keep trying.

We tried for over 9 months for baby 2. Everyone was pregnant around us. I felt so jealous.

we both took COQ10 supplement and also did the fertility lube. I also wondered if my c section made a difference and went down a bit of a rabbit hole googling the impact of c section on fertility.

good luck, I know how rubbish it feels

Thank you both so much xx

My story is almost the same as yours! I conceived my son on the second month of trying and then took just over a year to conceive our second (14 weeks now) with not even a hint of a positive in that whole time.

We put it down to me not really tracking ovulation as closely as I did the first time round and also just not trying as often - not as easy to make the time when you have a toddler! I also felt really jealous of others pregnancy announcements but guilty at the same time because I already have a child - your feelings are 100% valid.

Anyway it may be just a coincidence but we just happened to use conceive plus lube both cycles I fell pregnant in case that helps!

Best of luck, i’m sure it will happen for you soon.

Thank you very much for your reply. Firstly a huge congratulations on your pregnancy. That is such wonderful news.

Yes - it's that guilt of feeling upset when you already have a child, but it's still hard when you get that negative month after month after month. It's a lot for your emotions to take. I have been tracking ovulation most months (some months I've decided not to in the hope that not being so "focused" on it might actually help but it hasn't), so I've decided to continue tracking just to make sure I'm aware of when ovulation is.

I've heard a lot about conceive plus. I have tried preseed but it actually gave me a bit of thrush (sorry for tmi) so am a little apprehensive to try conceive plus..but I suppose I can just take the risk and give it a go.

I'm hoping that I'll have good news to share one day x

We had secondary infertility for 18 months and it was really hard. Nearly all my first time around Mum friends got pregnant with their second and I felt really left out.

In the end we found out it was male factor and apparently we'd been lucky to conceive the first time. Resigned myself to needing fertility treatment or only having one child and literally got pregnant the next cycle and I'm currently 30 weeks. Honestly you couldn't make it up! I do think that the fact it could work before meant it could work again even if the odds were lower. I used fertility lube, a load of supplements for us both, a fertility lily cup and timed conception so threw a lot at it! The GP also said that most couples will conceive in two years so hopefully your time will come soon but obviously keep going with the tests.

We conceived DD1 on the second cycle but then suffered secondary infertility.

The good news is I'm now 32 weeks pregnant with DD2..... what you probably don't want to hear is that it took us 4 years to get here without so much as a sniff of a BFP in all that time.

Hope your journey is significantly shorter than ours was.

I'm hoping that I'll have good news to share one day x

And if you don't you already have the best news many women would give anything for - a beautiful healthy child who will always be enough.