New Older Mam

[Godalf13]

Hi all,

I am 4 weeks pregnant, due Oct 8th 2025 (by my calculations) and am 38 years of age. We have been TTC for around 18 months so while we are thrilled it was also a shock as I’ve had negative after negative, month after month.

I suppose I’m posting as I’m curious as to other people’s experiences of pregnancy later in their 30s/40s. I have told close friends and family for support as I need it. I have also very recently (within weeks) been late diagnosed with autism and ADHD so this is a LOT right now.

I’m also very anxious about miscarriage - hence telling those close to me for support. I have been consulting the ‘miscarriage odds’ page and am heartened every day when the risk decreases.

Anyway, I would love to hear your experiences and connect with people to compare notes on this journey. I have no female friends who have been pregnant really. My best friends are a gay man and another autistic woman with a dog 🫠

Hi @Godalf13. Congratulations! I don’t have any words of advice but I just wanted to share that I’m in the same position as you.

I’m also 4 weeks pregnant and due on 4th October (again, by my calculations). I’m also 38. Conceiving was a lot quicker than expected because I was told that the likelihood of conceiving naturally was very low due to some health issues. I’m also in complete shock seeing that positive test!

I’m also very nervous about the risk of miscarriage. I posted on here a few days ago and got some wonderful advice. I’m taking each day as it comes. My current mantra is ‘today, I am pregnant’ and also remembering that each day that passes brings with it a lower risk of miscarriage. I’ve also used the miscarriage calculator that you refer to.

As I said, I have no real advice but I’m in exactly the same position as you.

Keeping everything crossed for you.

@BrightLilacCat HUGE congratulations to you too!

I completely empathise with the shock. It’s an odd feeling indeed. A very real mix of excitement, worry, happiness, and a bit of ‘oh sh*t, what have I done’ 😂

If you’d like to connect and share notes, I’d be happy to PM my socials. If not it’s no problem, I won’t take offence. I understand it can be a little weird with forums.

I wish you all the luck in the world and for a happy and healthy pregnancy you can enjoy!

Hi OP

Congratulations on your BFP!

Early pregnancy is an anxious enough time anyway without the added worry of our age and the increased risks we so often hear about.
All you can do is try to stay healthy and positive that everything will be OK

It can and does happen. I had my first healthy baby at 37 and am now 31 weeks pregnant at 42.

Also congratulations to you @BrightLilacCat

Good luck to you both

Had a single just before I turned 39 twins just before I turned 40 and a single just before I turned 41 and I'm nearly 42 with 4 adorable little ones. For me personally smooth and easy with each one. Had home births for them all, best choice I ever made so relaxed just pottering about doing my thing and your own personal midwives for the birth bit. They even made a bath and tea and toast after every birth 😊 maybe Ive been lucky but most of the women in my large family have had there's over 40 no problems aswell. Look forward to your bundle of joy, exhausting but so so worth it 😊

Congratulations OP! A year younger than you but recently had a baby at 37 and all was well, I did have the worst anxiety with that pregnancy and my previous child so totally sympathise with a feeling that something could go wrong, the early weeks of pregnancy feel so tough in this regard

Congratulations OP! I had our little boy last year when I was 40, also something of a surprise after 3 years without precautions, we'd long assumed it wasn't going to happen! I know that feeling of excitement mixed with 'oh shit' well!

I had the easiest pregnancy, no sickness or pain at all, was able to stay active throughout and had a straightforward birth just with gas & air. Our DS is healthy and robustly riding the 75th centile line now at nearly 8 months old.

Everyone is different of course but there's often a 'pregnancy is bound to be horrendous for older Mums' narrative on MN so just wanted to provide an example where it wasn't!

Hi there, many congrats OP!

I am 39, 4 weeks pregnant too and also due 8th October! This is my second and I had two miscarriages last year (6 and 8 weeks) so am v nervous.

These first few weeks are pretty brutal... fingers crossed for us all!

Congratulations OP, I wish you and all the other PP well in your pregnancies!
I also took a long time to conceive - IVF, miscarriage etc. But eventually got lucky at 38 and had a gorgeous little girl who is now napping in my arms! I am also currently 36 weeks pregnant with twins and I’m 40!
My first pregnancy was relatively straight forward but this second one has been harder. I think that’s more to do with it being twins than age though!
Advice… look after yourself, eat well, hydrate, gentle exercise if/when you can (I am not now at 36 weeks with twins!!) and get help from partner/anyone who offers when you can!
Good luck, I know how scary pregnancy can be after losses. Try and do nice calming and relaxing things you enjoy - if it’s your thing I highly recommend a pregnancy massage!!

Yes an absolute mix of emotions @Godalf13! My husband is super excited and positive and I’m worrying it’s all going to go wrong!

Thank you for the offer of connecting however I’m going to hang fire for now. I saw there is a due October 2025 thread on here and I can’t even bring myself to join that until I’m a little further along due to my worry of something going wrong!

Have you made progress with a midwife yet? I tried but I’ve recently moved house and I’m just outside the catchment area so I need to find a new GP surgery to register at before I can do anything. Terrible timing of the house move!

I've been pregnant at 33, 35 and currently pregnant at 38 - all as crap as each other but this one has been hardest but I suspect that's due to having two other kids to look after rather than my age. Some people sail through pregnancy, I am not one of them, I really hope you are! 😂

Worth it in the end though.

I had my baby last year about a week before my 39th birthday. Pregnancy was pretty smooth and I've found recovery from the birth pretty smooth too. I did get flagged for higher risk for Down syndrome at the combined screening which the nurse said was probably largely due to my age, but then I had the NIPT test through the NHS immediately and it came back fine. Baby doesn't have Down syndrome so it was correct!

I thought when I got pregnant that all of my friends were done having kids but in fact four of my good friends had babies last year, two of which were first babies, and another is having her second in 2025. All of them are within a year of my age. It's not unusual any more to have babies late 30s and it didn't make any difference to my treatment when pregnant. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck!