Breastfeeding

[justamum98]

Hi all, I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my second baby. When I had my first I knew nothing about breastfeeding. I thought it was as simple as they show it in films… baby is born and breastfeeding comes naturally. But my experience wasn’t like that, my first born couldn’t latch properly most of the time. But on the odd occasion he did, I was having contractions all the time and my nipple was so sore I couldn’t continue so I tried pumping but that didn’t help or get easier. I was alone all the time due to my partner not having paternity leave so I felt very overwhelmed and exhausted trying to look after a newborn, find time to sleep/eat and pump regularly. So anyways, long story short I lost my milk after a few weeks.

now that I’m expecting my second, I want to try harder. Not only to breastfeed but to understand the process. I still feel very uneducated and the midwife’s at the hospital were very rude during my first visit and I didn’t feel I received much support.

I understand milk comes in a few days after birth. So what do you do until then? Formula? My first was tube fed for the first week of his life so again, I didn’t get this experience and I am absolutely clueless.

if anyone can explain all this to me I’d be grateful.

They only need colostrum (which you produce before milk comes in) in the first few days. The general advice is to just feed feed feed, as its the babys stimulation on your breast that helps to produce milk. You got this!

Oh OP, sounds like you had a very hard journey the first time round. It's worth looking for a breastfeeding group in your area - they can be amazing supports and help you as you establish feeding.

In my experience, the first few weeks are hardest, then the convenience and ease far outweighs every other challenge!

In the first few days, you'll have colostrum rather than milk, which is tiny in quantity but like golden nectar for your baby. You can start trying to express it from 35-weeks pregnant (I think!) and catch it in syringes to freeze, so you have some 'banked' for baby when they are born. That's not essential though.

The most key thing is to start feeding immediately. It might take a little while to establish, but that will give you the best chance of keeping it going.

now that I’m expecting my second, I want to try harder.

Try harder? You did try OP. Why make life hard on yourself? You will have two very young children with no support. Do what is easiest. Fed baby is happy baby. There is no kudos in BF, it’s just maternal pride, and by the time they start school it will be totally irrelevant.
Plus your partner needs to be taking over feeds and care when he is home to let you relax and spend time with your older child.

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/breastfeeding-information/thinking-of-breastfeeding/

The Breastfeeding Network is a great source of information and they also have a helpline staffed by experienced volunteers. See if you can find out whether there are any drop-in groups local to you, as face-to-face support makes the whole thing much easier. As well as the BFN, other similar organisations are the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, La Leche League and the NCT.

In the first few days you produce colostrum - it’s like a very concentrated milk as tiny newborns only need a small amount. If everything goes to plan, you feed the baby very frequently (!) in the early days and that tells your body to make ‘proper’ milk.

'No kudos' in breastfeeding?

People should be free to choose how to feed their baby as like without any judgement or pressure.

However, let's not deny the facts. A fed baby (whether formula or breastfed' is essential but breastfeeding is 100% agreed by paediatricians as the best option of feeding for several well known reasons.

People who choose to breastfeed are making a huge sacrifice (and often went through days/weeks of agony to achieve this) so let's not deny their right to celebrate and feel proud in having achieved this or deny the others the proven benefits of breastfeeding to let them make an informed choice. It's ok to acknowledge 'breast is best' and give credit where credit's due whilst also in no way judging formula feeding.

I’d really recommend looking for a breastfeeding support group OP, I know where we are there are family hubs which offer them and you could even drop in pre-birth to get some information. Your midwife should ask about how you’re planning to feed in one of your last appointments (I think it was around 36 weeks?) and when I mentioned then I wanted to breastfeed I was given leaflets, signposted to support and also given the colostrum collection kits which you can use from (I think) 37 weeks. I was leaking from about 26 weeks anyway so once I was at the 37 weeks I started collecting it and popping it in the syringes. I took some of those to the hospital with me and also used them at home in the early days. That is enough for them in those first few days so don’t worry about milk!

Also, if you want to try I’d recommend popping baby straight on the boob after birth & continuing while in hospital. I’m not sure if all hospitals have this but I know in mine they had a couple of midwives who were “feeding experts” and they were always happy to come help you while you’re still in. That was really helpful for me as they showed me a few different positions and techniques for feeding and helped me get baby latched, they also checked for a tongue tie and any obvious issues immediately x

• until the milk comes in (about day 3), you have something called colostrum. You don't have masses and masses of it, but they don't need loads of it at first.

• I would strongly recommend looking into doing hand expression, and collecting it in these small plastic syringes. You can get them at a cheap price from Amazon ect (no needle or anything, just plastic syringe only). It might be your CMW will give some if you ask. Then store in the fridge or freezer, and take a bit into hospital with you. Hospitals are supposed to have a fridge/freezer for storing breast milk. Then, if you are having difficulties in the first few days, this can be a sort of backup, having some milk stored, and also the skill of hand expression. Should only do this at 36 weeks+.

I know many mums suffer with the anxiety that they don't have any milk, when its more that it doesn't work how a lot of people think. It doesn't pour out of the breast, and at the start there's only small amounts - but what there is is very nutritious and the babies stomach is only small.

• I'm sorry that you had such a rubbish experience with feeding first time. I'm a midwife myself (31 weeks pregnant).

The reason I think this happens, is because typically, thing don't really improve in the NHS, unless it's something people can sue over. No slots for induction, or bad monitoring interpretation, due to poor training? Probably can sue over this, so something gets done about it. They'll make sure training is up to date, move patients to other hospitals, get more staff in to do inductions ect. Poor or no feeding support? No chance. The information has got more accurate, but often the support is there on paper, but not in practise.

BF support if is fairly time intensive, but most babies won't die from not being BF, so when there's a poor staff:PT ratio (almost always), BF support is usually the first thing to snap.

• I'm currently working my way through a book called 'the womanly art of Breastfeeding'. I would recommend it. BF is a skill women of the past would have learned, simply through seeing it done hundreds or thousands of times. And if they struggled, mum can help, auntie can help, sister can help ect. This network doesn't exist in the same way anymore. Loads of knowledge has been lost; you need to read about/look up this knowledge in preparation.

I figured I need to improve my knowledge, as I know about initiating BF, but not as much about continuing as I would like. LLL have made a more recent edition (9th), which I wouldn't recommend, as I think they removed all references to the fact that breastfeeding is something done by women.

I seriously think the NHS should offer like, maybe a set of 4 classes on breastfeeding, if mum is planning to breastfeed. But they don't, they just tell women 'breast is best' - and it is if you look at the stats.

But then they just piss off and leave them to deal with the guilt if it doesn't work out, often leaving women feeling it's somehow their fault, when for decades, if not a century, formula companies have been systematically destroying BFing + knowledge, spreading myths about it. + Health systems have been recommending AF for decades and even had policies to promote AF, like keeping mums and babies separate. It's really very cruel in my opinion - we recommend you do x, here's some leaflets, but no real support.

• There may be some sort of breastfeeding support groups in your area, maybe run by LLL or health visitors. Go along, maybe even before your have the baby for support and advice.

• Consider getting a lactation consultant if you are struggling if this is an option for you. Cost is typically about £180, but the cost of 1st infant milk would significantly exceed this over time.

Have a look if there are any breastfeeding groups near you, I go to a la leche league one locally and it’s brilliant. I only started going in the last couple of months and my little one is 17 months. You can go whilst pregnant too and get some really good breastfeeding advice. Also when I had the health visitor call before birth I expressed that I wanted more knowledge about breastfeeding and they arranged an appointment with the specialist for me to go through it all so worth asking them