What's more tiring? Pregnant with a toddler, or parenting a newborn and a toddler?

[AmyW9]

Just needing a handhold really! I'm 32 weeks pregnant, with a two year old DD, and just floored by exhaustion.

Is it true that life with a newborn and toddler is easier than it is being pregnant with a toddler?

I'm barely sleeping, legs and feet constantly sore, and heartburn round the clock. DH is being totally incredible, but it's never enough and I just can't seem to ever feel rested and human!

For me, being pregnant with a toddler (well my dc1 turned 3 during my pregnancy) was worse. It was horrific. I had awful morning sickness, pgp, constantly being summoned for extra scans and checkups due to complications, while juggling work etc.

Don't get me wrong, it was also hard when dc2 was a newborn and I'd had a c section and it was Christmas and I had to make Christmas magical for my dc1 when I just wanted to nap. But at least I was on maternity leave and no more freaking hospital appointments.

I think once dc2 turned about 2-3months old, things got quite a lot easier. Certainly by then, it was much much easier than being pregnant

Edit pgp not ppd! The pelvic pain

Is it true that life with a newborn and toddler is easier than it is being pregnant with a toddler?

So, yes, basically!

I have 3 children, so speak from "double" experience... 🤣

Is it true that life with a newborn and toddler is easier than it is being pregnant with a toddler?

Personally, yes, I think that's true.

I found pregnancy with a small child(ren) much more tiring than parenting small child(ren) + newborn. There certainly were/are moments where I'm tired, but I think the exhaustion is much less foggy and all consuming compared to how I felt during pregnancy. Having said that, do remember that you will need recovery time during the early newborn days, so it may not lift immediately (although, to be honest, I did feel much better very early on)! Pregnancy is incredibly tiring and hard on the body, even when it's straightforward with no complications.

I wouldn't say it was 'easier' personally. I think it's more challenging actually. However less physically tiring, even with sleep deprivation. I felt more bone crushingly physically exhausted during the final trimester of pregnancy each time than I did after birth.

It depends on your pregnancy, your newborn, your health and your toddler.

I found my second pregnancy harder as I couldn't rest that much but it was harder when baby was up ten times a night and I still had to get up at 6am with toddler.

Feel for you OP!! I would agree with other PPs, definitely found newborn and toddler more bearable than third trimester and toddler. I was so so exhausted and uncomfortable it felt like it would never end and the days were painfully long. We did put DS1 in nursery and extra day after DS2 was born for a few weeks which certainly helped too. The down time was worth the mum guilt.

I’ve got 3 DC and yes, I think being pregnant with a toddler is harder than a newborn and toddler. However, all my 3 were easy newborns, no reflux or colic or anything. My close friend had a colicky newborn and her mum had to fly from abroad to help with her toddler because she wasn’t coping.

I also found my last pregnancy especially hard on my body, and really struggled during the last 6 weeks. When my son was finally born (10 days late!) it felt like my body breathed a sigh of relief. I had a 4 night post-partum hospital stay due to my heart condition and extra monitoring, and it felt like a vacation.

Agree with everyone, I found pregnancy with a toddler way harder. I'm in my third trimester with my third at the moment and am just on my knees! I found, even while recovering from birth actually, that just not being pregnant makes everything so much easier. There's also less to juggle without work, midwife appointments, etc. Also, obviously your sleep is broken with a newborn but for me it was still better quality than sleep in late pregnancy.

Being pregnant with a toddler (or 3 year old in my case) was much harder than when I actually had a newborn and 3 year old. I would fall asleep on sofa next to DS due to pregnancy (DH was there too), juggling throwing up whilst making sure DS wasn't attempting to jump off/get on anything, had PGP or whatever it's called and could no longer pick DS up or crouch to play/get up from floor without help. First day alone with DS and newborn DD was a bit tricky but moreso because it was new and trying to figure out feeding and occupying DS at the same time. But after that first day it was a lot easier!!!

just not being pregnant makes everything so much easier

100% agree. My baby has recently turned 1 and that feeling hasn't worn off yet.

It still hits me at random times like when I have to run upstairs for something. I'm not pregnant! Wheee! Look at my hips operating normally! I had to stand on the train for half an hour while commuting on Friday (no seats free) and I didn't feel tired or sore or faint in any way. It's wonderful not being pregnant.

Hang in there, op.

For me, the pregnancy and toddler phase was much harder as I was also teaching full time with a commute.

So baby stage with a toddler when on maternity leave was far easier.

My DS was 2.6 when DD was born. He was a very energetic lovely little boy
When I was 5 months pg with DD we ( DS, me and the bump) were involved in an RTA . No injuries thankfully but as I got bigger , my ligaments stretched , my poor back suffered and ...I couldn't take painkillers (except paracetamol which don't work for me and irritate my stomach)

DD was a wonderful baby who slept well . DS was a wonderful brother .
Yes it is hard work (I was working too) and I'm the only driver .

Looking back I was knackered at times but your brain makes you forget !

Pregnant. I'm loving having DS 3 and 3 months.

I remember reading a post like this when I was pregnant with a toddler and worrying how I’d cope. Now I’m the otherside I’d definitely say a toddler and newborn is easier than pregnant with a toddler. Obviously you’re still tired with a newborn but it’s not that bone achingly tired and also you can actually get some sleep and get help with both newborn and toddler whereas when pregnant it’s all on you

Second option

100% being pregnant with a toddler was harder

I found it harder parenting a toddler and newborn than being pregnant and parenting a toddler.

I definitely found it harder being pregnant and parenting a toddler, than parenting a newborn and a toddler.

So relieved to read most of these replies. I’m 35+2 and have a 2yo and have been seriously struggling these past few weeks and wondering how the heck I’ll survive the newborn stage whilst also looking forward to not being a tired achy beachball anymore!

Actually feel quiet tearful reading these replies! So glad that for the majority, things did get a little easier (although no doubt, harder in other ways!), but I'm sorry to those who felt things get harder.

Hanging on to the fact it's just a few more weeks to go!

I have a 3 week old and 4 year old not yet at school. It is 100% easier going from 1-2 than 0-1 (IME) or being heavily pregnant with a 4 year old who requires a lot of my time

I completely agree that it's easier with a newborn and a toddler than pregnant with a newborn. I have a 2.5 year old and I gave birth 19 days ago and even though I'm sleep deprived with a newborn, I feel so so much better than I did when I was pregnant. It is tough with a newborn but the unbearable aches and fatigue fog from pregnancy have lifted and I feel able to function again!

I’m late to this post! I’m 41 weeks now and I’m finding it EXHAUSTING with my almost 3yr old son (turns 3 next week). If I realised how hard it would be I’d have hung back a year before falling pregnant and wait till he was finally in nursery so I had SOME breaks. We’ve hit that delightful age where his ears have suddenly stopped working, his energy never stops, he gets really rough at times as well and my body is just too tired to stop him or keep up! Iv honestly never been more ready for my toddler to go to nursery, I feel bad when I say I can’t wait for him to go but I really can’t wait and then he can start mingling with people his own age and learn the boundaries of playing with others!

I’ve got that newborn stage to get through again as well, so maybe in a few months time I might think differently 🙈

It depends on ypur pregnancy and your baby doesn't it! My second pregnancy and resulting second baby (first child had just turned two) were fairly easy, but aside from bedtime/ cluster feeding the baby in the wrap/ sling was easier to combine with the toddler than being pregnant in the last month, just because you can't put the bump down for a nap or get sleep between night feeds 😝.

My third baby was a very poor sleeper night and day unless being held, so the newborn stage (with a toddler and a preschool child) was hardest.

Tbh both times I found wider family expectations to come and stay during the newborn stage and with baby three some friends' expectations that I'd let their own toddlers play dolls with my newborn because I was supposed to be so incredibly relaxed and glad to hand off the baby to anyone as it was my third, harder than the babies and toddlers themselves though!

Both are tiring. I think looking after newborn and toddler is harder. Two is about 10 times harder than one child.