Just want to have this baby & No fuss

[SunshineMummy2]

Hi
I hope this doesn't come off ungrateful but I really don't want to engage or see anyone coming up to the birth of my 3rd baby. Everyone is pushing on baby showers and big dinners etc. which I'm guessing I'd have to pay for.
I'm 35 weeks and just want to have DS. It's been a very challenging pregnancy and with two other children I'd just like to get on with it. Yes I'm a bit grumpy but the constant looks of shock and dismay because I'm not throwing a party is irritating. I've got awful back pain and low energy.

Don't get me wrong I'm all for a good time but happy to just rest and prepare mentally for when little one arrives. Am I being unreasonable?!

YANBU. You sound like you're doing the turning in on yourself that seems to happen at certain stages of pregnancy. A bit like nesting, getting yourself cosy and building up all the lovely hormones that help you give birth. That said, it's unusual that people still want to make a fuss by the 3rd one so maybe find something that suits you to celebrate 😊

I didn't have a baby shower. Very few people I knew did. Certainly not for a third baby! Just say vaguely "the midwife/doctor;say I need to rest so no" and leave it at that!

Nope not unreasonable.

I'm 30 weeks with DD2 and won't be having a baby shower just like I didn't for DD1 either.

It doesn't sit right with me to celebrate a baby before they are here safely - particularly after I went to one years ago and the baby was born stillborn a matter of days later. Just horrific.

Last time I was pregnant my immediate family had planned a low key meal and I ended up being admitted with pre-eclampsia the same day so they went without me 🤣 not planning anything this time round

Why would you have to pay?

if its an event to celebrate you, surely everyone else splits the costs, or some such arrangement

Agree completely, 38 weeks with DD2 and i just want to hibernate don't even really want to talk to anyone 😂

It's perfectly reasonable to not want any of this stuff but I would say that normally others would plan a baby shower and pay for it - it's not usual for the mum to be to plan or pay for any of it x

The thing is the ppl asking have good intentions but poor organizations skills do it's likely I'll be roped in for planning at bare minimum. I just want to hibernate which I'm sure isn't very sociable but I just don't have it in me. I nap all day as can't get comfy at night.
It sounds harsh but I'm just fine to nest and spend time at home prepping the house for the new arrival. I'll see everyone once baby is here safely.

@SunshineMummy2 I am 35 weeks tomorrow with baby no.3 👋!! So exactly the same position as you! I’m still working flat out though for another two weeks so am massively unprepared, haven’t even packed my bag yet!

but, I am exactly the same! My SIL even messaged my DH to ask about a baby shower, despite me being very clear early on I didn’t want a fuss as I have struggled mentally! I have found as the pregnancy has progressed, my close friends have just been there for me when I need them rather than making a big fuss, which I’m grateful for.

hopefully I will get a few weeks next month before baby arrives, so I can do exactly as you are and just hibernate! I want to go for walks on my own, tidy the house and just potter!

good luck with everything, it’s nice to have someone else in the same position!

No Just say to people trying or hinting at organising events. Sorry I'm not up to it. I've been told to rest.

I actually deleted
whatsapp off my phone for the last few weeks of my pregnancy in may 🤣 I couldn’t cope with all the messages from well meaning people and people asking any news yet etc! I just wanted to be with my husband and daughter just the 3 of us before everything changed with our new baby coming into our house!

@Fupoffyagrasshole tbh I'm not far from this. I know they mean well but this is my third and I just know what to expect so just want to get on with it lol
I find it more stressful trying to figure out how to keep people at arms length but be nice about it

It’s strange that people are still interested by baby no. 3 😂 I was the same as you, my pregnancy was relatively straight forward but by the end it can feel intense can’t it. I felt the same about a shower but I think on the whole the people closest to me just wanted a quick nod to allow them to do something to mark the occasion. In the end I said yes and they did something super small however I did create a registry for the last few items I’d not got round to getting and they absolutely loved it! It was like they were just after permission to buy stuff!!! I used Mycrib.uk and it basically did all the hard work for me and it felt tasteful rather than a gift grab. Each to their own though, don’t feel pressured and do what feels right for you x

I do think this pregnancy has opened my mind up to how tone deaf people can be. My sister has been pushing to stay over, she did, didn't lift a figure. She in turn became an extra child for me to sort out ontop of my pregnancy. So when I say to ppl I just want to hibernate and wait for this baby this is what I mean.