FTM Anxieties

[elizabethxxx]

Hi all!
Im having some anxieties around looking after my baby once she’s here (for context she’s due June 2025)!

I understand this is quite normal for most mums. But I’m worried about things like if she may get Colic/Reflux and il be totally unprepared to soothe her or look after her correctly! I suppose it’s just a confident issue but I wanna be the best mother I can and I am anxious about how il deal with my baby stressed.

I suppose my question is to any mothers who have been through it before.

Is this something all mother just naturally pick up along the way? Or shall I be doing things to prepare myself? I read up all the time about these things but I suppose I just panic!

thankyou in advance xxx

just remember every day is a school day.
every baby is different and you’ll learn what’s right for you.
have you booked onto parenting or nct classes?
have you got contact with a health visitor too? as they can support you

Hi @elizabethxxx - I'm a ftm due in June, too, and had this same wobble last week 🙃 We're booked onto a NCT course (quite intense; it's a whole weekend) in May which seems to cover a lot of the practical stuff and hoping to do a baby first aid course as well. My logic is that if we know how to do the basic/emergency/urgent stuff then we'll buy enough time to ask a GP/health visitor/111/someone else with a baby about everything else.

I'm the youngest in my family and not especially maternal (I'm psyched about having a baby, I just have limited patience for other people in general). So I am quite embarrassed about how little I know about babies and having one with you 24/7 (how you shower when you're alone at home with a newborn, how you know when to feed a baby - literally all of it) but everyone so far has told me you just pick it up.

I'm a chronic overthinker and common sense is not always my forté, nothing is obvious to me. But I know the more I read now the more I'm going to worry about doing them; I really am a "learn on the job" person. 😬

My mum told me It's like being dropped in a foreign country with no dictionary - you just learn the bits you need because you have no other choice!

The fact you’re worried about it means you really care, so I’m sure you’ll be fine! I would recommend NCT or other antenatal classes and baby first aid as suggested by a PP. It is a steep learning curve and feels a bit daunting at first but honestly, your instincts will kick in and you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll instinctively do and understand. And there’s so much information readily available online too, so you can easily look up things you aren’t sure about.

Things like colic and reflux you’ll just have to wait and see if they’re issues - but you’ll find a way through them if they are. You’ll be okay - millions of new parents have done it before you, and there are lots of people you can ask for advice from if you need to.

You'll find yourself at some point with an unhappy baby you can't settle. It's impossible for them to tell you what's wrong, so you have to try everything and hope something works. Sometimes, it'll remain a mystery for life what they were screaming about.

Everyone has to bumble along and try burping, changing nappy, dark room, feeding, and back around again. There's really nothing you can do to prepare, except to make sure you've got everything ready to try on them. I'm a mother and I wouldn't have a clue what a newborn baby was crying for!