35 weeks and don’t want to socialise

[EJT91]

Did anyone else feel like they just wanted to lock themselves away in the last few weeks of pregnancy? I had my baby shower at the weekend which was so lovely and my friends made such an effort but I struggled the entire time to hold a conversation. It’s like a I can’t concentrate on what people are saying? I’m struggling to sleep at the moment as well so that is probably a contributing factor. I literally just want to be left alone! My mum text me this morning asking if I want to go out for lunch or a coffee tomorrow and in all honesty, I don’t! I’ve got the midwife in the morning and then I just want to do nothing. We’re moving house as well at the end of the month so I’m spending a lot of time packing up boxes and generally sorting the house. I just really don’t want to hurt my mums feelings. We’re not that close but I can see she’s making an effort, but just being around her involves her asking me a million questions about things I don’t know the answer to and I just don’t have the brain capacity at the moment to deal with it! I feel like no one will understand where I’m coming from when it comes to my mum because all my friends are so close to theirs and relied really heavily on them during their pregnancy, labour and after birth as well. I just feel like a terrible person!

Don't feel as a terrible person. I think it's quite common experience at 35 weeks.
Ask mum for coffee maybe next week? Or she can bring tea to your house?

I'm 35w too, almost 36w, and feel exactly the same.

The past two weeks i've been really struggling to make conversation, my brain feels all over the place, I also can't concentrate either so you're not alone on that front.

I'm sure your mum will understand if you say you're feeling especially tired with packing for the house move and getting ready for baby, so aren't feeling upto it, but maybe she could pop for an hour at your house if she really wants rather than you having to go out.

A house move is stressful enough never mind adding prepping for a new baby in the mix, if someone doesn't understand that then they are the terrible person, not you.

My mum also asked to come this weekend as it's her birthday, I obviously didn't want to say no, as I do normally make a big fuss for her. She's so excited about the baby (family's first grandchild), but this pregnancy has been anything but smooth sailing and currently in hospital 3x per week for monitoring, it's hard to be around someone excited and bouncy like she is when my emotions are all over the place with worry/stress. I know she's going to ask a million questions about baby/hospital/the birth, but i'm just going to change the subject and keep things light.

So don't feel terrible, make sure you advocate for yourself and rest when you need to, please don't try to please other people and end up getting run down because of it.

I’m so glad it’s not just me! I feel like everyone expects you to be so excited and glowy at this stage and although I’m excited, I’m like you and dealing with other things that are causing a bit of worry. My mums the exact same with the questions and it always feels like I answer one question and then get peppered with 10 more! It’s only because she cares but my patience is very thin at the moment 😂 this is her first and probably only grandchild as well and I have to keep reminding myself that she’s excited, but also have to remember I’m entitled to feelings as well and have to do what’s right for me. I’ve messaged her and told her she can come over for coffee but I can only spare an hour 😊

I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you, sounds like you’re having a bit of a rough time!

I’ve been feeling like this from about 27 weeks and I’m usually very sociable. I’ve mostly put it down to being exhausted. I really struggled over Christmas and just about had enough energy to put the effort in for older DC but everyone else has just had scraps! Completely get what you’re saying about struggling to concentrate and hold conversations too. I’ve been upfront in saying that I’m really tired and I’m not beating myself up for it, neither should you. It’s hard work growing a human and it won’t be forever. Also agree with PP about not letting yourself get run down to please other people.

If it's any consolation and to make you feel better... I was exactly like this in pregnancy and now DS is 3yo and I still get like this with sleep deprivation. You've described it really well! At work sometimes now my brain isn't engaged at all and my mouth just starts speaking automatically and it feels like it's ahead of my brain sometimes! Just making the effort of conversation sometimes is way too much capacity in my head and I feel really socially awkward. Which I never ever use to be! It must be some sort of mental shift we have when we fall pregnant/give birth. Like it changes us irrevocably in so many ways!

I think you just have to go with how you feel OP!

I’m 32 weeks and feel gross - definitely not one of those women who glow in pregnancy! So part of me wants to stay in the house until I feel more like my normal self. However, this is baby 3 so I am booking in alllll of the social events now as I know I will be missing them for a year or so after they arrive. Upcoming hen do, girlie weekend, a few nice meals out. I trust my friends will accept me clad in leggings and massive jumpers!

I'm 35 weeks at the weekend and have been like this for ages!
I don't want to socialise because all everyone wants to talk about is the baby, I feel like they've forgotten I'm a person!
Even my closest friends don't make an effort with me and then when I finally see them it's all about the baby and wanting to touch my bump. I hate it!! They never touched my tummy before so why now? They can't feel the baby so back off! Haha.

I'm a beauty therapist too and my clients also do it, which annoys me more! 😂

Anyway rant over! What I'm trying to say is what your feeling is normal xx

Yes I was the same, in the last week I got so fed up of everyone asking if baby was here that I left my phone in a drawer all week haha. I'm sure it's just hormones take care of yourself

It’s a purpose and natural affect of your hormones. They are there to protect your baby and yourself and by staying away from people you reduce the risk of coming into contact with any bacteria/ germs.
This is your nesting phase, your body wants you to stay at home and get ready for the baby and relax, enjoy it 🤍

purposeful*!

I also feel the exactly the same! I’m almost 39 weeks and booked in for a c section next week! I haven’t told anyone apart from family the date and time because I know for a fact I’m going to be getting endless messages and calls asking for updates. Do people not think that you will update them? I know with other people who were pregnant and found it annoying. I feel like an awful
person for this but sometimes with people’s questions I just feel like running away putting my phone in a drawer and locking the doors

Everyone’s different. I was commuting weekly to another country via air until 36 weeks, I couldn’t fly after that, so had to take leave, but was mad busy trying to finish a project, and also trying to stuff in as much theatre and music as I could before DS arrived and made it temporarily impossible.