Lying to my employer

[Hopeful4546]

Hi,
so I have had a missed miscarriage in the past (October) and I am pregnant again now . I was off work for 8 weeks after my D&C surgery and work were great however now I’m pregnant again I have had loads of appointments that I need to go to for checks and things and I don’t want to tell my employer I am pregnant until I’ve had my 12 week scan because of what happened last time. I have been making things up like my son has an appointment or I have to take a family member to hospital but I feel awful I’m just worried they will try and get rid of me or all being well with the pregnancy not take me back after maternity leave. I’m also worried they will get really funny about all the appointments I will have in the future. Any advice would be great as I’ve never told an employer before as with my son I wasn’t working.
thanks

I would tell them ASAP - pregnancy related absences are classed differently and you're not allowed to be disciplined for them. However, they do need to know they're pregnancy related! It's possible to just tell your manager without the word getting out to too many people. I understand it might be hard, but I'd tell them sooner for peace of mind.

Definitely tell your employer - it protects you. You should be entitled to paid time off for pregnancy related appointments and any absence shouldn't count towards any triggers, but only if they know! There may also be relevant risk assessments that need to be done. It also offers you some protection in the case of redundancies as they would then need to be very careful that they didn't seem to be discriminating against you.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. You say you don't want to tell them in case it happens again but surely you would need to if unfortunately it did so I don't quite follow that logic.

Be honest

There's things your employer needs to put in place they moment you team them you're pregnant, such as a risk assessment. You really should tell them asap.

Telling your employer for health reasons isn't the same as telling colleagues your news. As PPs have said, you're protected if absences are pregnancy related and there are laws in place which means you cannot be discriminated again. I told my line manager and HR when I was going through IVF and they were extremely supportive. As another poster said, if you do sadly experience another miscarriage you'll need to tell your employer regardless as this will affect your attendance further, so there really isn't any logic in waiting until the scan to tell them either way. Colleagues, absolutely - I didn't tell mine until I was about 15 weeks.

I get it. I had a miscarriage in August having had most of July off with hyperemesis and some time off in August after the loss. The I got pregnant again and had most of November off with hyperemesis again and was signed off sick until Christmas but miscarried again at the beginning of December.
We are still trying and it does feel a bit awkward to keep going off sick but work have been so supportive. My line manager pretty much banned me from coming into the office and told me to stay at home where I can rest between work. I'm a lab user which means I have to tell my work as soon as I find out so they can put a new risk assessment in place which does take the when should I mention it out of the way.
Ask for a quick chat, ideally in person and tell them that the appointments have been pregnancy related but you weren't sure how to broach the subject.

What checks are you getting that amounts to 'loads' before 12 weeks pregnant.

I had to tell my employer at 5 weeks as I was having to go to EPU weekly from 5w. Even once a week for an employer can seem like ‘loads’.

OP, as others have said tell your employer. You are entitled to appointments relating to pregnancy and it saves lying to them. It’s likely they’ll work it out all being well when you tell them at 12w anyway.

They’ve probably guessed why you suddenly have a lot of appointments. May as well tell them.