I feel like I shouldn’t even be complaining as I know some people have such difficulties even conceiving for the first time or can’t at all and I should be grateful for having two healthy little boys (2.5 & 5yo) already, but I can’t help but feel sad about my situation. Last March at 34yo I found out unexpectedly that I was expecting our 3rd baby - I was in shock as I only came off the pill in the November (not to conceive but because I had continuous bleeding which was driving me insane!) so thought my body would take a while to adjust, also I had nowhere near the symptoms I had with my first two pregnancies. My husband was amazing and said it was great & a third child would be exciting. When I spoke to the midwife she said looking at my last period, I was around 11 weeks! I hadn’t thought my period not showing up was down to pregnancy but stopping the pill and maybe I had gone from constant bleeding to a long wait until my next bleed. Anyway, I had hyperemesis with my other 2 pregnancies, by around 8 weeks, so I expressed to my MW that I was concerned o don’t really have major symptoms, apart from a slight nausea in the mornings and feeling tired. She reassured me that all pregnancies are different and perhaps this time I was having a girl. But I couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t right. That same day, by the evening I started spotting brown blood, by the next day it was pink. I went into the early pregnancy unit, they checked my cervix and said it was open, checked my hcg levels and asked me to come back the next day. Of course the bleeding increased and my hcg levels dropped day by day until I went on to have a full miscarriage right on Mothers Day of all days. It was a very traumatising experience, I couldn’t believe how similar the pain was to both my labours. But I really struggled to let go. I had to keep going back to the early pregnancy unit for more blood tests to make sure the hcg had dropped - this was hard, because, stupid I know, I kept hoping it would go up! All of this happened on the space of 2 weeks - found out I was expecting, went for my first appointment and booked in for my scan, miscarried. But it made me realise how much I wanted this child ;( … I hadn’t even been planning it or thought about it, but I only just discovered this blessing & just as I was getting used to it and excited, it was taken away from me. I started to blame myself because I didn’t even realise I was pregnant, had I been eating the wrong things? I had drank wine on a few occasions, done vigorous training! Was the miscarriage my fault! I grieved but then hoped I could conceive again pretty much right away to fill this emptiness I now had. For about 4 months, I thought about the miscarriage everyday, then eventually I accepted that it just wasn’t our time. Fast forward to now, January 2025, this whole time we have not used any contraception whatsoever and have said that if it happens it happens, but lately I have started wondering how I haven’t conceived again, considering how active we are (literally the same as before baby 2 and 1!) I really thought this month that it had happened - I had nausea, severe fatigue, heightened sense of smell, light headed now and again and VERY emotional; my eldest asked if we could have a new baby; my Nanna asked me yesterday if I think I’ll have anymore, my husband even made a little joke about baby no.3 - only for my period to start today! I honestly felt so sad & disappointed when I realised (I don’t know if it’s because it’s nearing 1 year since discovering my last pregnancy) I would really really like to have a third baby, more than anything, but now I’m wondering if that miscarriage has caused me to become less fertile, or if it’s because I’m 35. I literally didn’t even try or think about conception with my first 2, or last year’s pregnancy, it just happened - why isn’t it just happening now? After 9 months of not being careful? Has anyone else experienced anything like this?