40+2 and absolutely miserable

[Barb20]

I am so sick of being pregnant now. This morning the last one (apart from me) of my nct group posted they’ve had their baby so I’m officially the last one. Even though we weren’t the last due date!

I’ve got messages from family and friends asking if I’m ok (basically asking if I’m in labour imo) every day for the last 2 weeks. Had an unsuccessful sweep on Monday because my cervix was too firm and closed for her to do it. I was just so sure we would have a baby by now and it’s actually really upsetting not to. It’s affecting me more than I thought it would.

I’m trying to be active but it’s so hard when I’m so uncomfortable and in pain especially in my pelvis bones; all I want to do is lie on my side and eat! I sat on the ball all day yesterday and had a walk at lunchtime. had the house all tidy washing all done 2 weeks ago and now it’s back to being a mess but I don’t have the energy!

how do you cope with this?! I can’t even imagine going to 42 weeks which is now feeling like a real possibility.

No advice OP, sorry, but I can totally imagine how grim you’re feeling. A mixture of it being a very long 9 months and also the excitement of just wanting to meet your baby!
they say try everything like food, sex etc but I don’t think anything truly helps. It’s down to the baby I think.
you could potentially request an induction if you’re uncomfortable, I had an induction at 39+4 due to kidney pain. Albeit she still didn’t come out and I needed a CS but it got the ball rolling! Good luck and early congratulations!

Hang in there OP. If it helps at all I had absolutely no signs of any imminent labour at 40+2 but a healthy bouncing baby boy at 40+5!

It will all be worth it when he or she is here, you won't even remember how you feel now x

@PumpkinSpicedLatte thank you, I was dead against induction a week ago but I’m starting to change my mind now, anything to get him out at this point! I just don’t want to be in hospital for days on end. The snow was bad where I am and there’s still black ice and frozen snow, so I wanted to avoid lots of hospital visits for me and my husband- we have a dog so if I was in for several days he’d have to go back and forth a lot. I’m just really struggling! Thanks for the sympathy 💐

@Barb20 are you in Scotland? I feel your pain, I am 40 wks tomorrow and refused a sweep at 39 weeks and in the same mindset with visits and dog. I have been on the tea and expressing etc for many weeks and tried pretty much everything to start labour but nothing is working. I'm not sure how long to leave the sweep but I am also worried that I get one and it doesn't work or waters break or something goes wrong that it is then a rush to birth. The other part of me is thinking would an elective c section be easier if baby doesn't appear by a certain date. It's really hard knowing what is best but omg the message from family and friends asking how things are are doing my nut in!

Hey OP, I feel your pain. I eventually had my daughter 16 days after my due date with an induction and those last two weeks really dragged.

I tried to take the mindset that she would come when she was ready and the 'due date' is an estimation, very few babies are born on their due date. I planned some nice things in which could be cancelled if they came so I felt like I was getting some 'bonus' time before she came but it was tough with pelvic girdle pain and just generally how big you are by that stage!

I'd maybe say to those asking that you'll let them know if anything changes and maybe change the subject? Hopefully they'll get the hint that it's unhelpful!

I was properly considering asking for an earlier induction or a CS but I was glad I didn't, a CS is a significant surgery and the recovery is quite long. The induction as you say meant I was in for 6 days.

Can you plan some at home spa nights? Plan to watch a movie with your partner or plan a really nice meal out?

I got to 41+5 - I feel your pain!!! We had quite rampant sex and that made baby come 😅

I went to nearly 42 weeks with both of mine so you have my sympathy. I was utterly miserable the last few weeks. I remember my mum saying to enjoy it but at least after I gave birth I could get up from the sofa without having to roll myself off onto my hands and knees!

A sweep did nothing for dd1, she hung in there for a few weeks more. The midwife tried a sweep with dd2 and said that my cervix was too closed and I wasn't going to give birth anytime soon and booked and induction. Went into labour and gave birth about 12 hours later!

I'm 40+2 today too. One of the things the trainer said at my antenatal class was that you don't have a due date you have a due month and the baby can come between 38 and 42 weeks. In a room of 10 she said she'd expect at least 1 or 2 to be close to 42 weeks. So I've been using that as my "due date" and didn't put any weight on the official due date. It definitely helped me mentally prepare a bit better.

I've had absolutely no indication that this baby is coming any time soon so I expect they'll be chilling out in there for a little while longer. I read that labour starts when the baby releases chemicals, and that only happens when they're ready. So they're just not ready to leave yet.

I know it's hard but try to keep busy/active

@Barb20 the last week(s) are the hardest, you're nearly there - if I were you, I'd put my phone on silent or aeroplane mode to stop the constant messages. I hated the "well, how are you today messages". Just made me feel like a vessel.

Also, I read somewhere, the more we worry about trying to induce and bring on labour, the more cortisol we make aka less oxytocin which is optimal for starting labour.

I can't speak though, I had to have an induction at 40+5, which led to interventions and an emergency c section. In hindsight, I would have tried to go spontaneously and not 'try' to to induce labour with so many activities. I definitely obsessed over it!