TTC - timelines?

[MiaRosexo]

Hi all, just wanted to hear people's TTC timelines please - my partner and I will be TTC our first child soon and I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on whether they wish they'd tried earlier, did it happen straight away/longer than expected etc, did you put any holidays on hold :) I completely understand everyone's situations are different, but just trying to get an idea of what to expect as don't want to get my hopes up too much.

I'm torn between putting life on hold in case it happens straight away, or booking holidays as normal etc.

I'm 28 and have experienced one pregnancy loss already.

Thank you :) x

Not to be a downer with the first post - but it took us 5 years, all in. We had fertility problems and needed interventions. And yes we had to change/ cancel a lot of life plans.

I don't think there is really any kind of average you can rely on to inform what your experience will be. It's probably not that helpful to compare people's responses on here as everyone is very different. Some people get pregnant the first month they try, and some take 5 years or more.

Daughter conceived after 4 months straightforward pregnancy
TTC #2 8 months to overhaul medication to ones safe for conception. Conceived after 2 months miscarriage at 10 weeks. Conceived again after 3 months miscarriage at 9-10 weeks. Currently 4 weeks post miscarriage. It's now been about 16 months since we first decided we wanted a second. I do wish we had started sooner, especially as it took a long time to change my medication but I wasn't well enough to change my medication earlier so I would have risked getting unwell again and that could be difficult for my daughter and partner. So it is what it is.

My first miscarriage would have meant a 4 month old in the summer so we held off booking a holiday as at 4 months with my daughter we were both too unwell to be going on holiday. My second miscarriage was due in July so we held off booking a holiday as we would have a newborn. As soon as I miscarried we started looking at summer holidays. We have decided to stay in the UK instead of going abroad just in case I'm pregnant. Otherwise I'm going about my normal life

I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say they wish they had waited to TTC.
But you hear plenty of people saying they wish they’d started trying earlier as they had unforeseen issues.

As you know, no-one can tell you how it will be for you.

Both times (at 32 and 35) I was coming off the pill, started taking folic acid, took a month or two to get to get back into and understand my cycle and then conceived shortly after.

It's so hard, because you need to be ready for it to happen immediately, but not expect that it will. If you're planning travel maybe try to book things with good cancellation options or that you would still be happy to do having conceived 😊

First born conceived second cycle of trying.

Second child took 4 years!

There is honestly no rhyme or reason to it sometimes. You may be lucky and conceive straight away but bear in mind it's perfectly normal for a healthy fertile couple to take 12 months+ to conceive. For this reason, I really don't think it's reasonable to put everything on hold. I just lived my life like normal with holidays, social events etc

1st baby- 1st try, 2nd baby- 2months, 3rd baby- one time

It really baffles me how some people get pregnant so easily and some struggle. My heart goes out to them x

Are you in a position to be able to book holidays at relatively short notice? Then you could book a holiday if things don't happen straight away but you fancy going away.
Personally I didn't make any travel plans when we were TTC but obviously the longer it takes, the more frustrating that would feel.
We did big holidays before TTC both times so that took the edge off a bit.
It's tricky because you also don't know how your pregnancies will be, my first trimesters were miserable and I did do a long weekend away abroad this time and it wasn't very enjoyable at all.
Though my trip also coincided with some bleeding and we had a scan confirming baby was okay the day before we flew, which was super stressful and I was totally exhausted and drained going into the trip. If we'd not been able to get the scan in time or had gotten bad news I might have wanted to cancel the trip completely.
Basically, as others have said, you don't know how things are going to pan out, putting your life on hold will probably make the experience a bit more stressful.

We waited until everything lined up and we'd achieved everything we wanted to achieve (got married, bought a house, travelled, etc.)

I got pregnant first try in December last year, and had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I then got pregnant immediately off the back of that and then had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. It took 8 weeks for my cycle to return and it wasn't regular, so assumed nothing would happen. Found out I was pregnant first week of June. I lost our little boy at 19 weeks due to complications they still can't explain or find a reason for.

I'm 36 now, and have been given the okay to try again. Finding myself staring December in the face, a whole year on, three babies lost and absolutely no closer to the end goal was soul destroying. Do I wish we'd started earlier? Sometimes. I have friends who took 2-3 years to conceive their first, but had easy or healthy pregnancies and a heavy baby at the end with no problems. Then there are people like me who fall pregnant easily, but struggle to hold onto our babies. Then there are others who fall easily and breeze through pregnancy too. The problem is, you just never know which box you'll fall into. Hindsight is painful.

I wouldn't wait. We conceived baby number 3 just after getting back from a holiday, and we went away skiing in December this year too. We don't let it rule our lives, we just look for good cancellation policies just in case.

There's no right or wrong choice, it's whatever is best for you, but it's a good idea, as someone else has already said, to prepare yourself for it to take one try or 30 tries as best you can.

Not sure I’m technically qualified to comment as my little girl was a happy accident. That said, we had just booked an expensive long haul holiday literally weeks before I found out I was pregnant. We had to bring it forward slightly but we were determined to go (and we did! Best holiday ever!) so I would say if you do book anything like holidays or concerts, that kind of thing, pay the extra for the flexible options or cancellation cover.
Although I wasn’t on a TTC journey I have had friends who have struggled for years. It’s stressful (which also doesn’t help conception!). If anything I think living your life and having things to enjoy and taking your mind of TTC is really important to the process. It can be all consuming if it doesn’t happen quickly and you can forget to enjoy little moments of happiness that you might not get to once a baby comes along. Live your life as you would for the most part and accept you might have to be flexible/change plans/ lose a bit of money later. It’s good practice for having a baby in fact!

First took 17 months of trying hard. I stayed in a job I hated for too long as I was holding on for maternity leave.

Second was a first half arsed try.

I'd say carry on as normal!

I had my first at 28 and it was good for us but it depends if there is anything specific you want to do first and also depends on how many children you want.

It took us 8/9 months with 6 months of tracking. I’m 31 and it ended in a mmc.

It can become all consuming so try not to hyperfocus on ttc. I'd avoid tracking for the first few months and just have regular sex every other day.

All the best!

Got pregnant first time at 40 but had a miscarriage, 2 months later first time trying again conceived again but had a mc.
Found out I had an immune disorder with meds will stop miscarriages.
Hospital said to wait for a few months before ttc
We ttc in November and I fell pregnant second cycle this December, I am 41.

My maternal grandmother had a baby naturally at 43 and 44 and my mum had a late menopause.

Took us a while both times although we were lucky as both natural conceptions. However I know lots of people for whom it was the first cycle.

You really don't know but at 28 time is on your side.

My first pregnancy was a missed miscarriage first cycle. I went to Venice while waiting to miscarry so I was a bit anxious incase it happened out there (thankfully it didn’t because it was very painful and I shut myself away for three days). It had been booked before we knew I was pregnant though so I was planning to go.

Then I had DS who took 3 months to conceive. We were actually on holiday in Norway when we found out. Again booked Norway while I wasn’t pregnant. It was ok being on holiday at 4-5 weeks pregnant, it was early enough that I didn’t have morning sickness. The only minor thing was a few moments of dizziness. It was an incredible holiday.

I think the only thing I wouldn’t do is book a holiday 6-12 months in advance, especially abroad. I would save and book it with just a few months advance. That way you will be in the early stage. Which can be rough but at least it’s not a worry about giving birth in that country.

Ironically we went against this advice and booked a mini break ( in the uk ) with some friends for 14 months time, and guess what happened? I will be 38 weeks pregnant when that holiday happens. It is a 2hr drive away so not too far, and there is a hospital 20-30 minutes down the road. However I had my son at 35 weeks of pregnancy so I’ve never actually experienced or made it to 38 weeks before. We are prepared to just miss out though if anything arises before then.

1st at 24 first month
2nd at 34 first month
4th at 39 5months (conceived at 40)

No holidays booked or planned with the first 2, our third we’ve just been away whilst ttc and have a big long haul holiday booked for dec when dc should be around 12 weeks old.

Holidays can be rearranged with a small fee my advice start ttc when your ready but don’t put life on hold