Those who had successful pregnancies, can you offer reassurance?

[Kateeeeeeee]

First time being pregnant and I am finding myself going down a rabbit hole with comparing tests and line progressions. 😭
I keep seeing those on forums and wonder if this is more damaging than helpful. I know how silly this is especially since I use very uncommon brands and most people online are comparing the same popular brands. But I realised that many others have darker lines than I do at the same DPO and it kind of worries me. There are so many stories of women saying how their lines didn’t get very dark and it ended up in a chemical/miscarriage or even ectopic! 😱
This massively freaks me out and I am really in need of some reassurance.

My test lines are getting steadily darker, which should be a good sign, but today at 18DPO the lines are still not as dark as the control line. Most posts where pregnancy has progressed well say they had even darker lines than the control line at this point… I don’t know if that’s due to the tests I am using or if I really should be concerned.

Interestingly I have to add that the clearblue did get as dark as the control line at 16DPO. So maybe the cheapie strips are just not as strong? I may be totally overthinking this. I am especially nervous because my boobs are a lot less sore today than the past week and that’s the only symptom I was having! 😭
would love any of your thoughts and reassurance!

My tests were only ever fainter than yours and I had 3 healthy pregnancies.

I did once have an ectopic, but with that the urine dip tests always came back negative. I only found out I was pregnant when my doctor ordered a blood test.

You are going to have a very long 9 months OP. Being this anxious and stressed won't help. Have you any reason to worry about miscarriage? If one is going to happen, all the worrying in the world won't stop it. Your odds of the pregnancy continuing are greater than the odds of something going wrong.

Your tests look absolutely fine and normal, please don't let yourself worry like this the whole 9 months. X

I think the strength of lines is silly. People assume they have to be darker everyday but it’s unnecessary stress that you don’t need.

I feel you. I told myself I will not test anymore, I have done 4 tests and at this point I won’t be able to change anything. So decided to focus on thinking about a viable healthy pregnancy instead of all the thoughts about what could go wrong. It’s so hard though having had a CP in the past.

Saying this, I had ordered some strips from ebay which i am not sure I will be able not to use.

Today I had a very strong clearblue one so quite positive and hopefully will
resist on not testing anymore.
I believe different tests react differently and your tests look very positive.
try not to overthink x

Gently OP, yes you are overthinking and you are over-testing. You're only 18DPO - some people don't even get a positive until around then.

This obsession people on here have with strength of lines is really unhelpful and clinically unimportant. Ignore it. If you have a line then you are pregnant, and that is a strong line. Stop testing and wait a bit.

You've done a test - you know you're pregnant.

Stop testing.
There is no need.

Save your money.

Too early for actual pregnancy symptoms. Bin the tests and go for a walk.

This.

The best thing you can do if v nervous is wait a few more weeks and do a private reassurance scan

I had 2 healthy pregnancies and wasted the first 7 weeks of the first one peeing on sticks convinced i had a blighted ovum.... 😵‍💫

My personal opinion is that all this early testing - is there a line? a shadow? is it an evap? A false positive? A false negative? Am I having a chemical? Is the line progressing as it should? Etc etc - so damaging for your mental health.

No matter how early you test you can't change anything or make something happen. Women are literally torturing themselves!

Second pregnancy now (28+4) and on both occasions I've waited till my period is definitely late plus given it some extra days to be sure. I've tested once only, got a strong unmistakable dye stealer both times and then never ever tested again.

Hi OP I'm a scientist and work in diagnostic testing.
You really need to stop torturing yourself now with carrying on testing. The test line being darker than the control isn't likely to happen. You're also not using the tests for what they're designed for, they give a yes no answer and that's it. You know you're definitely pregnant and that's all you need to know for now.
The next step is your dating scan which is the only thing that can definitely show if your pregnancy is progressing as expected.
I know it's difficult because I've been there but you really need to find ways to stop yourself becoming so anxious. Stopping the online forums is probably a good start. Good luck to you x

Thank you all SO much for all your messages and the tough love, I needed exactly that 😭

The internet can absolutely cruel sometimes and I would have likely not been so terrified if I didn’t see a million other posts of obsessive line comparisons!

But equally grateful for the internet for moments like these where you all offer me such reassuring words. 🙏

The tests are yes no. They aren’t designed to be analysed in the way that you are.

i think you should see gp for anxiety as there will be more triggers for you along the journey to parenthood

I do not know why there is a fad nowadays of testing again and again, in my day you tested once at the beginning and if it was positive you were pregnant, would not have entered my head to keep testing😕

Same here. I have three children, I have done exactly three pregnancy tests in my life, all when I was about a week late so just for confirmation.

Relax OP! Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy.

With my most recent pregnancy I was getting positive on the strip ones, negative on clear blue, up to a week late. I had sore boobs so was convinced it must be wrong. I had faint positives with both babies, and went on to have uncomplicated pregnancies and 2 healthy babies. I think some people just physiologically don’t produce as much of the hormone or something? Anyway, I’ve been there and done that, there’s nothing to worry about as the PP have stated. Best of luck!

When I got pregnant after MC I just did one pregnancy test that was positive and left it with that. All those tests tell you is whether you are pregnant or not. The coming weeks will tell you if it will continue progressing. In your shoes I would put my attention and energy on other things like start pregnancy yoga that you have some great videos on YouTube, making sure you take vitamins and find out what the process is for referring yourself to maternity services in your town. Find other things to distract yourself with until you are far enough for scans etc. good luck!

To be honest I don’t know either! I think it wouldn’t have occurred to me if I hadn’t seen a million of these progression comparison posts. Seeing all of that must have made me feel like I have to do that too 😅 if I knew where I would end up I would have never joined those comparison groups.

That is massively reassuring! That’s probably true, I did read a lot that individual levels can vary a lot, and that the progression is more important. Congratulations on two healthy babies! 🥰

I think you need to stop testing, you're just stressing yourself out.
It's really really hard to accept but there's nothing that can be done in the early stages, a lot of pregnancy, childbirth and parenting is out of your control. It's not easy to accept, I really do understand, I had to fight against my own anxiety. But it doesn't help anything.
I tested a few times initially with both pregnancies just because it doesn't feel real at first and then didn't test again.
This time, I tested on the first day my period was late (same as previous pregnancy) and the line was so so faint, whereas in previous pregnancy it was dark immediately. So I did retest a few days later this time and it was darker, but a faint positive is still a positive and everyone is different!

Very true words!!
We all learn all the time and will definitely have to work more on my mindset…
On that note, good luck with your current pregnancy! 💕

I took one test with each of my successful pregnancies and that was it…! I don’t understand people who take multiple.

Why post? That’s great for you but the op is looking for reassurance. You’re being really dismissive and patronising.
you don’t understand because you’re not empathetic

She asked for reassurance, yes. And I did reassure her to say I only took one test for each pregnancy - essentially saying I didn’t worry if I needed to test more.
I have a shit ton of empathy, thanks.
it’s text. You can’t hear my tone to understand and maybe I didn’t write it fully.

she hasn’t posted to say she has lost a baby previously so this is why she’s obsessing over it. Just that others who went on to miscarry had darker lines.

sorry but it’s not healthy to obsessively test like this.

Pregnancy 1 tested 5 days late dye stealer, my daughter was born at 38 weeks
Pregnancy 2 tested 5 days late dye stealer, miscarried at 10 weeks and took 3 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test again.
Pregnancy 3 tested 2 days late strong positive not dye stealer. Miscarried at 9 weeks took 3 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test.

The tests tell you pregnant or not. They don't tell you the health of the pregnancy. After the first few weeks your HCG levels are so high that that even if something has gone wrong it will take weeks for your HCG to be low enough to see the effect on a pregnancy test. The day I miscarried my second pregnancy my HCG was 17000, it halved in 16 hours which was 8500 so still way above the threshold. I had awful sickness in all three pregnancy and was on antiemetics for a 3 days after my first miscarriage and had nausea for a week after the loss.

Having been on both sides of fate I can say that one of the hardest parts of the first trimester is the not knowing. If you have tested positive after your period is late and you have a good strong positive that's the time to put the tests away. They won't tell you one way or another. Keep busy, up the self care, do things that help your anxious mind and hope for the best. Scans are the only thing that tell you about whether the pregnancy is ok and even those are subjective and only a snapshot in time you can have a good scan and lose the pregnancy on the drive home. In my third pregnancy it took 3 scans at the epu over 3 weeks to confirm the loss. The 8ish weeks to the first scan from positive test can be long and fretful!