Mum guilt and low mood in the first trimester

[Rorous]

I’m roughly 8 weeks pregnant with DC2 and really suffering with low mood and mum guilt at the moment.

On Boxing Day DS (19mo) got D&V, which he then passed to me and DH. I’ve also had the normal pregnancy tiredness, nausea etc. so DS has watched lots of TV to help us get through.

When DH and I finally recovered, DS started coming down with a fever which peaked Friday/Saturday. Again, more tv (and guilt), became very clingy, not eating, whiny etc. just hard work, bless him.

Thing is I now have zero patience with him; I’ve been mostly stuck in the house and I’ve had enough! I’m putting this down to hormones because I’ve cried 4x already this morning, but I feel like I’ve turned into a horribly lazy, cold and short-tempered person.

DH is taking DS out for a dog walk in the wind/rain this morning and I feel guilty that he should be home in the warm with me but I can’t face it. I also can’t manage the 1hr walk my dog needs (tried yesterday and ended up vomiting).

So I’m currently feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck, failure and looking for a hand hold/some advice to bring me out of this funk?

Hi OP, I was exactly the same first trimester. Highlight: when DS brought me his drink and stroked my head whilst apologising because I vomited after he did a poo in the potty and I could not deal with it at all. I felt like the worst mum ever. But you’re growing a baby. You feel rubbish. You are only human. In the end I just accepted DH and DS would have to cope with my sub par parenting until I felt better, physically and emotionally, because my priority was the pregnancy temporarily. Plus toddlers are really hard work! You just need some looking after yourself at the moment, D&V is horrendous at the best of times. Hope things pick up soon

No advice but feeling exactly the same at the moment! Also potty training and morning sickness combined is horrific as I now know!

You’ve not just got morning sickness and a toddler to care for, you’ve also had horrid sickness in your household to deal with. Please be easy on yourself! I can relate - I’m 8 weeks pregnant and my son is nearly 2 and it is hard work. My husband has been off work for Christmas so that’s been great, but he’s also been constantly sick with colds and flu, so he’s limited in his ability to help around the house etc. My son has definitely been watching more tv than usual. Don’t worry about that though as it’s only temporary. If for a few weeks your child watched more tv than you’d like, but it helps you cope with the day then that’s fine. Once the nausea and tiredness wares off you can get back to going out more and reduce the amount of tv. I honestly don’t think a few weeks will do harm.
You’re not a failure, you’re just going through a tricky time, which will end.
Do you have any family near y who could take your son out for a bit so you can rest without feeling guilt that you’re not there too?

Thank you for your responses, its reassuring to know I am not the only one! My mum is here to take DS while I work tomorrow, will see how it goes. Looking forward to the second trimester!

I hear you. My DS is 3 and I'm 9 weeks feeling rubbish which really ramped up before Christmas. We have been the most sub par parents ever so I needed to see the replies on here.

If we were also dealing with a stomach bug I'd probably be ready to jump out a window so well done for holding in there OP