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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

So much anxiety since i got pregnant

13 replies

Okiki · 03/01/2025 19:48

I’m 12 weeks pregnant, I’ve been so worried since i got pregnant and I don’t know how to stop worrying, I’ve had 2 miscarriages in the past, i was once misdiagnosed with PCOS.. my last miscarriage was a missed miscarriage which still affects my mental health till now because every time i keep thinking what if my baby’s heartbeat has stopped again which makes me so sad and mostly in tears.
I also have private scans weekly which aren’t assuring enough for because my last missed miscarriage happened few days after a scan, I’m really nervous and don’t know how to feel better

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Pinkelephant66 · 03/01/2025 19:50

Do you mind me asking how far along you were when you miscarried? Risk drops dramatically after 12 weeks, if that’s any reassurance

kiana2015 · 03/01/2025 19:52

I was the same through my whole pregnancy, spent stop there, once the baby was born it got worse, I was terrified of SIDs I was convinced it was going to happen. My midwife told me this is a form of post partum depression, definitely gets better with time, my DD is now 8 months and I'm no where near as anxious as I was

Pigsinblankets13 · 03/01/2025 19:55

Completely understand. I was so anxious with my last pregnancy after MMC and MC. It does get a bit easier as time goes on, the anxiety doesn't go but it eases. Speak with your midwife and let her know. x

blw95 · 03/01/2025 19:59

Hi, I don’t really have much advice just wanted to say I totally relate. I am currently nearly 13 weeks and have suffered with constant anxiety since finding out I was pregnant. I have found it is getting a little easier now. I have had three precious mc and mentally it does take a toll. What you have been through is traumatic, and honestly I think it changes us forever. I try and take it one day at a time - remember the odds are in our favour. There is more chance that everything is okay than not. Try and avoid any mc posts or googling, as I find that really triggering. Other than that try and distract yourself the best you can. Every day, week is a milestone. I hear people say worrying won’t change the outcome, so try and enjoy the pregnancy. I know that’s so much easier said than done, one step at a time. We will get there x

Original poster
Okiki · 03/01/2025 22:02

Pinkelephant66 · 03/01/2025 19:50

Do you mind me asking how far along you were when you miscarried? Risk drops dramatically after 12 weeks, if that’s any reassurance

The first one i was 6 weeks and i was 8 weeks when i found out i had MMC the second time

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Original poster
Okiki · 03/01/2025 22:07

blw95 · 03/01/2025 19:59

Hi, I don’t really have much advice just wanted to say I totally relate. I am currently nearly 13 weeks and have suffered with constant anxiety since finding out I was pregnant. I have found it is getting a little easier now. I have had three precious mc and mentally it does take a toll. What you have been through is traumatic, and honestly I think it changes us forever. I try and take it one day at a time - remember the odds are in our favour. There is more chance that everything is okay than not. Try and avoid any mc posts or googling, as I find that really triggering. Other than that try and distract yourself the best you can. Every day, week is a milestone. I hear people say worrying won’t change the outcome, so try and enjoy the pregnancy. I know that’s so much easier said than done, one step at a time. We will get there x

I try so much to distract myself even when I’m at work I sneak to the toilet to cry and battle with the thought that maybe I’m not worthy to carry a child to full term, I’ve always been an anxious person right from time but these days i can hardly feel happy because i just keep thinking of what my EDD period would be if i would be happy welcoming a child or sad again..

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Original poster
Okiki · 03/01/2025 22:10

Pigsinblankets13 · 03/01/2025 19:55

Completely understand. I was so anxious with my last pregnancy after MMC and MC. It does get a bit easier as time goes on, the anxiety doesn't go but it eases. Speak with your midwife and let her know. x

No one is giving attention, every time I speak about my concern before i finish talking I would be told to speak with my GP and my GP always remind me he’s not an OB nor gynaecologist

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SErunner · 03/01/2025 22:16

Imid ask explicitly for a referral for support with your anxiety - they can't say no and you should be a high priority. Alternatively you could pay privately to see someone if you have the resource. Pregnancy is long and it's better to get on top of this now. Id also stop having scans, they aren't helping anyway so are a waste of money and may be inadvertently furling the anxiety. Risk of miscarriage is very very low after 12 weeks, you are highly likely to have a successful pregnancy and live birth. Hope you can get some support.

Annoymous3659 · 03/01/2025 22:17

@Okiki I am sorry to hear about your experience. You have been through a lot and dealing with a lot. I would recommend speaking to your midwife and being open and honest about the extent to which your past experiences of the MMC are impacting you day to day and the pregnancy.

Do express how it’s impacting your anxiety and day to day life. Your midwife can refer you to your perinatal mental health team to provide you with support both during pregnancy and after birth. Wishing you the best x

Blue2020 · 04/01/2025 05:33

My very first pregnancy was a missed miscarriage (I found at it had ended at a 9 week scan).

I can relate. In my second pregnancy I was convinced it would end again. I would think about the short term goals- 12 week scan, 16 week appointment, 20 week scan. My outlook improved after the 20 week scan. Then I thought ‘it’s viable from 24 weeks’, ‘the odds are better from 28 weeks’ and to be honest after 24 weeks I actually started to relax. Of course I still had moments thinking I would never get the baby at the end but I now have a 21 month old son.

Im pregnant again, currently 24 weeks and to be honest even though I have my son for the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy I was in the same frame of mind being reminded of the mmc.

Good luck. If you can try to think about mini goals/aims like the next appointment/scan. Also you may have heard this but after 12 weeks the outlook is very good.

romdowa · 04/01/2025 05:40

Okiki · 03/01/2025 22:10

No one is giving attention, every time I speak about my concern before i finish talking I would be told to speak with my GP and my GP always remind me he’s not an OB nor gynaecologist

Show quote history

You'll need to insist that the midwife refers you to the perinatal mental health team. I'd ring Monday morning and ask straight out. I find it's easier not to be fobbed off on the phone

CharlieAndMoose · 04/01/2025 07:52

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds very difficult. As a PP has said, the weekly scans aren't likely helping and must be costing you a fortune. Could I ask, are you going to the same place for your scans? Only I had a private scan at 11+3 with Window to the Womb, and their policy was to leave a minimum of 2 weeks gaps between scans. I booked it because it was taking forever to get confirmation of my 12 week NHS scan appointment, and I had a big social weekend away around the time I'd be 12+3 in which I hoped to share the news. It just so happened my appointment letter came through the morning of my private scan, which was set for a week and 6 days away (so, after my weekend away, by which point I'd be 13+2). They almost didn't scan me when I disclosed that information; I had to plead with them that I couldn't wait almost 2 more weeks for confirmation my pregnancy was progressing. Thankfully they relented when they could see it was causing me distress.

But I would question the legitimacy of a company who is happy to take your money every single week - it doesn't seem they have your interests at heart, just your money. And they won't have an appropriate care team if they were to pick something up that was a problem - the best place you can be scanned is a hospital with a full antenatal team on site.

Original poster
Okiki · 04/01/2025 21:23

Thank you everyone, i will give my midwife a call on monday and hopefully she’s able to put me up for perinatal counselling because that seems to be the only solution as I can’t keep paying a fortune weekly for ultrasounds without enough assurance

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