Preparing for a 21 month age gap…any tips?

[chasinghilltops]

Hi! My husband and I have just found we’re having our second baby and we’re so excited! Our DD will be 21 months when Baby is born.

Does anyone have any tips or advice for coping with 2 under 2 in those early days? I’m so excited but know it will be tough as well so want to be as organised and prepped as possible!

Thanks in advance!

Congratulations!

My eldest 2 are 20 months apart and what helped me was having one room completely toddler proof where I could sit and feed. It meant DD1 could be supervised and I could read to her while I was stuck under her sister.

I realised I needed this about 3 weeks in when DD1 tried to climb out of the lounge window while I was feeding. Thankfully she didn't make it!

@WithASpider thanks that’s a great idea! It’s all these things you don’t think about until you’re in the situation! My little one is a climber so I could absolutely see this happening to me!

Hi @chasinghilltops I'm due at the end of July and also due to have a 21 month age gap, so I don't have any tips yet but wanted to let you know that you're not on your own!

I'm more nervous about this than I was the first time... have you thought of anything else you're going to do to help prepare?

I've just started looking at double buggies and don't have a clue, help!

@abbaroony congratulations!

I’m definitely more nervous this time too, but I think them being close in age will be so lovely!

I’ve not really thought of anything else other than meal prepping. I want to prepare my DD even though she might not fully understand, so I’m going to buy little books about welcoming a new baby once everything is confirmed (fingers crossed!) after the scan. We’ll also plan some fun things to do just with her once baby arrives to give her her time too.

I had wondered about a double pram - we really invested in the pram we got for DD so I’d be gutted to replace it! But a double pram might be more practical.

I’ve also thought about having somewhere to put Baby down in each room and toys in different rooms for my toddler.

It’s so exciting - lots to think about!

Yes me too, I'm really hoping they'll be close and it was very much planned, so definitely what we want, but now the realities are setting in I'm getting nervous!

Meal prep is a great shout. And agree with having somewhere safe to put them in each room... we have a dog do we're quite conscious of that first time round too. Although I was thinking of getting a Tripp Trap (or similar) with the newborn seat for the kitchen too.

I know exactly what you mean with the pram, I'm hoping that my little boy will still go to nursery 3 days a week so on those days I'll just use our current buggy with the baby, but on the days I've got them both I'm not sure if I'd be glad of a double? Were you thinking of using a sling for the baby and having the toddler in the pram? I can't imagine my toddler on a buggy board atm but I'm sure he'll have changed so much by the summer!

Good luck for your scan!

Not me as mine is a bigger gap but with my sister I know there were a lot of jealousy type issues and her eldest feeling pushed out when baby arrived.
I would focus on both parents still trying to grab a little one on one time with your first born each week and doing a lot of prep beforehand so it's not just one massive change to their life when baby arrives.

Take any help offered. Let people hold the baby while you play with the toddler. Let the toddler have a day out with granny while you chill with the baby and don't feel bad.
If the in-laws offer to help with laundry day yes! Don't try and be super woman.

My last two (of 6) were 13 months apart. I found out I was pregnant when number 5 was 12 weeks old.

The first year was a blur as I also had a preschooler so 3 at home. I would not change anything now though (11 and 10) they are best mates and so close it's lovely to see.

Same age gap as mine.

I didn't bother with a double but it depends how much you want to get out with both of them. I would do individual trips with them both or all 4 of us would go out. My toddler was quite sensible though and would walk just holding the pushchair.

Always have a drink and snacks for your toddler (and you) when you are feeding baby.

I think I rushed my older one on potty training as I thought 2 in nappies was a bad thing. It really wasn't a bad thing at all.

Mine were the same gap.

Bedtime became harder with my older child, who needed attention at the point, so I had to build a routine where I could manage both. Everyone's different so I won't bore you with mine, but a cartoon, book and baby swing helped.

A good pram saved me, as many baby groups were difficult once my baby was mobile. I walked everyday, over the place.

I had a smaller gap and my saviours were:

A meal service

A cleaner

Decent double buggy

Fresh air every day - ideally first thing, up and out whatever the weather by 9.30 ish, even if I looked a state, a walk outside does wonders

Don't ever judge yourself if can't face doing much of anything on some days, a quiet day with you babies, some cuddles, books, bit of CBeebies and all fed and in bed is as successful a day than any others

Some nursery time for older DC - we kept 1 day a week at nursery, it kept some consistency for her and meant I could do a baby group with new baby too that day

@abbaroony we have the Tripp trapp and it is excellent! Used the newborn attachment with our DD and think we’ll do the same with DC2. It’s meant we can eat meals together from day 1. Yes, I’m thinking sling and buggy and hopefully buggy board (I’m the same, not sure how she would be on that at the moment!)

Thanks to everyone for the brilliant advice! Lots to think about but great hearing from people who have experience! Now if anyone could get my DD to sleep better so I can finally get some rest, that would be amazing! 😂