This is very out of the blue, but I've been looking through my camera roll from November/December 2023, when I experienced two chemical pregnancies in a row.
I remember scouring the internet, desperate to see that I wasn't alone and that this happened to other people and it all ended up being okay. Desperate to know that, despite my experience, there was nothing wrong with me.
Well, here I am, January 2025, with my 4 month old baby on my chest. There was nothing seriously wrong with me meaning I couldn't carry a baby full term; I didn't have to take progesterone or aspirin; my pregnancy was filled with serious anxiety because of my experience, but everything turned out okay.
I look back now, and I'm thankful for my chemical pregnancies - if I didn't have them, I wouldn't have my baby boy now and I wouldn't change that for the world.
It's the hardest thing ever, especially when you don't know whether your feelings are valid, because "it's only a chemical pregnancy", "it didn't have a heartbeat yet", "at least you know you can get pregnant" - baby loss is baby loss, no matter how early you are, the moment you experience that loss, a whole life you imagined and got excited for is ripped away from you. That is devastating. But please just know that there is nothing wrong with you. You will get your baby. What is meant to be will be. x