DH and I are planning to try for a baby soon

[ThatFunRubyHelper]

It’ll be our first and we’re excited. I’m just not sure what to expect regarding a lot of things. Do you work until your expected delivery? And after work did you continue to work full time, or part time? Is it scary in general, and for the delivery, is it that awful? I’m pretty anxious about being pregnant and the responsibility afterwards.

Any general advice or tips for a first time mum would be appreciated!

I worked until 37 weeks but took the first two weeks off as annual leave so only actually started maternity leave at 39w. Pregnant again now and planning to do the same.

I work full time compressed hours. DH works 3 days a week. So we only need 2 days childcare which massively helps with costs.

First off exciting that you're planning.
Secondly don't expect to get pregnant on your first try, it doesn't always happen that way, so please don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen straight away.

Work wise, you can start maternity leave from 29 weeks pregnant, sooner if you have annual leave you want to use. Most of my friends (myself included) worked up until 2/3 weeks before their due date.
You can do either, after my first I returned part time, changed jobs and went full time when he was 4, have returned full time again (term time only) with dc2

It's not scary if you try to relax into it, I had 2 very fast labour's (20 minutes from hospital triage and then 1 hour after active labour started) its uncomfortable, but try movement, I'd recommend listening and reading about pain relief options and seeing if they're right for you. My second was a water birth and the free movement was helpful because I was able to shift front to back, sitting to squatting.

Definitely do your perineal massage, it does help to reduce tearing, do your pelvic floor exercises for sure!
Fully inform your partner of your birth plan, include him in the creation because he will be your advocate if you get too far in your head and are unable to answer questions or talk about your preferences.

Enjoy the process of making your baby!!

Honestly you never know! I went into it thinking I'd be horrified by my bump, would hate the feeling of movement inside etc. Actually loved that bit of it. Missed the little nudges after baby was born. Got horrendous morning sickness though.

I started maternity leave on my due date. Fine for me. I was fit and active. I was cycling to work until my last week. Had I had PGP or other complications obv would have been a different story. I wanted to work as late as possible to have maximum time off with baby afterwards.

Delivery? Not going to lie it was a shit show then EMCS. But me and baby came out of it alive and healthy! Good recovery. I was out walking to my midwife appointment on day 5. There were several of us that got pregnant at the same time (mix of 1st, 2nd and 3rd babies) and not one of us managed the birth we had planned. But all mums and babies healthy. That's ultimately all that matters. Some c sections, some natural births, different pain medications, some inductions some not. Can't see any difference it has made to any mums or babies!

Back to work? Full time unfortunately! But used all my annual leave I'd accrued and not taken beforehand to phase return. Managed 4 months of part time because of it.

Ahhh congrats on taking the plunge. It's such a big deal when you finally come to that 'we're actively tying to get pregnant' stage.
Just try not to take it too seriously, let it happen organically if you can. I think when you get so obsessed with trying it makes it harder.

My hubby said we would just stop not trying to get pregnant if that makes sense.

I would start taking your folic acid now though if you haven't already, and conception vitamins.

I worked till about 2 weeks before I had my daughter (now 3.5)
My son (now 18 weeks) he was born 2 weeks early so I actually was only finished work 2 days before they told me they were inducing me early.

Like you I was very nervous about being pregnant.
Morning sickness if you have it can be awful - may I suggest beige foods, potato waffles, cheerios and green apples were my go to.
Ginger tea too.

As for birth, I don't know the best advice, don't be scared cause in the end you will have a little bundle - and it is so true you do forget the pain - which I'm sorry is horrendous.
I wanted to hear horror stories and it was worse lol.
Ridiculously long labour, episiotomy, forceps the lot.
Second time round - failed induction (4times, and after having my waters broke) and I had to go for an emergency section.
But you know what, despite it all, it's so worth it, and everything does just fall into place.
Just look after yourself, be mindful of your body and your mind.
And above all, enjoy trying

I can't comment on mat leave or labour as I'm currently pregnant for the first time, but I just wanted to warn you that not everyone gets pregnant immediately and it can be stressful. It took us 9 months of active trying to conceive and it became incredibly upsetting when my period would arrive each month. Come off any hormonal contraception sooner rather than later so your hormones can start getting back to normal, take folic acid daily, and do your best to find the fun in ttc.

Agree with this. I had a miscarriage (conceived after 5 months of trying) and this pregnancy is over 12 months after we originally started trying. It won't necessarily happen first try.

You can work right up to delivery if you want to, but many women choose to finish up a week or two before their due date so they can rest and prepare. It’s entirely up to you whether you return to work, whether full time or part time, after. You will need to think about childcare - who will look after the baby if you’re working, and how you will pay for it. Childcare is very expensive so it’s worth considering your plan very early!

I don’t generally enjoy being pregnant, I find it a slog, but some women love it. Delivery will be ok. Your midwife will give you lots of advice and opportunity to discuss. Generally by the time you get to delivery (all beint well) you’re so ready for the pregnancy to be over that you don’t mind what it takes to get there.

I was due to start mat leave at 39 weeks giving me at least a week off as all first time babies arrive late. My waters broke at 38+5 and baby arrived the following morning! I had already had my last day of work thankfully as my mat leave started on a Monday.
I was originally planning to go back to work full time at 9 months but instead I went from mat leave to Sick leave at 12 months as I was in a mother and baby unit with pnd. I went back to work 2 days a week at 13 months and got up to 4 days a week at 15 months and haven't been able to work full time since, my daughter is now 4 and at school. I went down to 4 days for my health but loved the day off with my daughter and enjoy being able to pick her up from school and too swimming lessons on my day off without stressing about work and deadlines.
Most people in my company with children work 80-90 % hours. 4 days 8h days is typical but there's also 90% split over 4 days allowing a day off but only dropping half a day's pay or doing 5 shorter days to facilitate school dropoff/pick ups.
My partner would love to work 4 days but his job would adjust and he would have 5 days from over 4 days and less pay so has stuck with full time. It comes down to the person and the job in some aspects

It depends how you feel but I worked to 38 weeks and went part time after a year of maternity leave.

I went back to work full time after my first, I'm currently on maternity leave at the moment and I intend to do the same.
First child will be starting primary school by the time I go back so won't need child care for them but I will for my new baby.
What I pay in childcare wipes out my wages, it's ridiculous, but for my own sanity I need to work, and it's only for a few years till they're in school.
If you have help - grandparent etc to help out with childcare even better. We just weren't in that position of having anyone

Depending on where you live, you may need to get your name on nursery waiting lists ASAP - I would wait until your 12 week scan, but I’m superstitious. DD was registered as “Baby surname” and her due date, then we updated after she was born. We moved house a year later and the baby room staff told us that it was an 18 month waiting list for full time baby places! No good if you’re planning on going back to work when your baby is 9 months and you only start to look when they’re here! It is very area dependent though, so may not be something you need to do.

Regarding mat leave, depends what sort of job you do and how you feel towards the end of your pregnancy. I had 4 weeks off before my due date as I had annual leave to use but I was ready to go off at that point as I was EXHAUSTED. You could just see how you feel closer to the time

Just to jump on with everyone saying that they worked up until 2-3 weeks before. I found late pregnancy very difficult due to pregnancy insomnia and SPD I was always in pain and restless. I went on leave at 34 weeks and would have gone earlier if I could. Maybe keep some
annual leave aside in case you struggle as pregnancy can be tough.
I went back part time and compressed days, really it depends on how much money you need and childcare costs.

Considering your other posts about your abusive husband you really should get rid of him and have a baby with someone that respects you.

HTH.