gender scan feelings

[WorriedTtc]

Hi everyone,
I’ve struggled hard to convince with both my pregnancies and I cannot explain how happy I am. I had my son 2 years ago and he’s the best thing ever in my life. I’ve just found out the baby I’m currently pregnant with is also a little boy and again I couldn’t be happier..

however deep down i know I can’t go through the whole TTC process again, both time it’s destroyed me mentally. Lots of losses, months and months of negative tests, constant appointments etc. I told myself we’d be two and through for my own sanity, this pregnancy has also made me so bloody poorly too.

however, I grew up with 3 sisters & we’re all really close to each other and my mum. I’m not at all disappointed my babies are boys, I’m more disappointed that I’ll never get to have a girl if that makes sense? As in that relationship and closeness. I know I could have a girl and end up not being close at all as you never know what they’re going to be interested in or like etc.. but non of me and my sisters are particularly girly girls we all like different things but just have that female bond I can’t explain.

I’m in no way disappointed and cried with happiness at both my gender scans, but I just have this almost grief of something I’ve never even had or won’t have?
does that even make any sense 🙈🙈?

maybe it’s my pregnancy hormones but I feel so emotional all of a sudden.
Idk if it’s also because I am so
anxious about this pregnancy. I have pretty much been consistently poorly the whole time and when I went for the gender scan the head was measuring smaller than the tummy / leg (I saw on the screen that the date for the head measurement was like 5 days behind) even though I was told it was all within normal range I just have a niggling feeling but have my 20 week scan in 3 weeks & an obstetric appointment in 3 days so can discuss everything then.
idkkkk what the point of this even is.

I'd say, and this is meant with kindness, that you're getting ahead of yourself. Get through this pregnancy, have life with 2 children, then reassess and go through the thought processes. I hope everything works out with your appointment next week x

I understand what you are saying. It’s the idea that you have lost something even though it was never guaranteed, having a girl doesn’t guarantee you would have a bond like you do with your sisters.

The positive- you could be giving your son a strong brotherly bond like you have had with your sisters? Not guaranteed only time will tell.

Yes definitely there’s so many positives to having another boy. Spesh cus there’s a 2 year age gap so they’ll be quite close in age my sisters also just had a little boy so it’s nice they’ll all be able to do things together and grow up close 🥰.

It’s an emotional time OP, I have two boys, the pregnancy with my second son was different to my first, they seemed reluctant to tell me the baby was another boy, I just laughed I was delighted to have another son.

I had a 21mth gap, honestly having two boys made life easier, they like the same toys, tv, attractions etc. many congratulations

I can relate OP although I'm the other way round - currently 27 weeks with DD2.

I'm 42 so it's age ruling me out of having any more but I'm very content with two anyway.

While it'll be easier having 2 the same for playing together and hand me downs etc, there is a small part of me disappointed knowing that I won't ever experience having a little boy and the whole mums and sons thing. It does make me feel like I'm going to miss out on something.

It's a tiny part of my psyche though and doesn't make me feel any less grateful for what I have. I think it's probably more common than we think.