Dealing with pregnancy "advice"

[PregnantAtLast]

I am in my first trimester with my first (much waited and longed for) baby, and we recently told my mum that I'm pregnant.

It was a lovely moment, but soon enough started an absolute barrage of various advice which hasn't stopped since...

Do this, do that, you ARE going to this aren't you?
Make sure you do this..... and definitely don't do that......
You need to buy this, but you DEFINITELY don't need one of those..... Oh! But you'll need a ......
And what are you going to name them? What about..... definitely not.....
Are you going to find out the gender? I think you should... I don't mind if it's a boy as long as it's a baby....

Aaaaarrrgh! It's so overbearing and it's making me anxious.
How do you all deal with this? I'm so excited to be pregnant after years of fertility treatment but I'm dreading the next 6-7 months of this and all the subsequent interference and control😩 Anyone been through similar?

Do you mean advice specifically from your mum, or people in general?

I've had similar from my mother in law, she is obviously excited, but some of her questions and advice have made me feel the same. I've had to tread carefully as I don't want to fall out with her, but if she was my family I would just tell her straight, something like "I love that you're so excited, and I'm looking forward to you being involved, but I'm taking it one day at a time atm and some of your questions are making me feel a bit overwhelmed."

In general though, unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people seem to think that as soon as a woman is pregnant, she is an idiot who needs their advice, even though they've never asked for it.

Apparently it gets worse after the baby is here too 😅🤣.

I'm currently in my third trimester, and was sat eating my lunch, minding my own business last week, when one of my colleagues started interrogating me about how many children I planned on having, and why I shouldn't have an only child. I shut her straight down with "I'm just happy to hopefully be having this one, and I don't have a crystal ball so who knows".

I would find this so lovely of my mum to be so elated for me, she never got to meet my little one.

Your mum is just really happy and excited and wants to share her joy with you by talking about the baby and all of the exciting things. Enjoy it with her! Congratulations on your bundle of joy 💐

When my grandchild was on his way the anti natal classes did a one off for grandparents. It was brilliant because so many things had changed and what is considered safe now was the opposite to when my son was a baby.
For instance the thinking was a baby should be put on its tummy to sleep in the mid 80's , now it's absolutely the other way round. Also my son was weaned at 4 months on the health visitors advice. Now it's 6 months.
I wouldn't have " told " my grandsons mother what she should do anyway but I know lots of people do.
Due to cutbacks I don't think these courses are available anymore but there are on line zoom classes still available. Should I have any other grandchildren I think I would do this to ensure I had the most current thinking/advice
. Could you maybe gently suggest the grandparents do one of these courses or if finance is available maybe treat them to a course.

It gets worse once baby is here and everyone wants to offer parenting advice

You have to kind of let it brush over you. Other people will offer their own advice and then once the baby is here you’ll find it happens even more. I went by the thought that if I’ve not asked for advice then I’m not going to listen to it.
Also, just tell your mum that you’re finding the questions and advice a bit overwhelming. She’s obviously coming from a place of love, but you can tell her that you just want to enjoy each stage of pregnancy and when you have a question or need advice then you’ll ask her.

How lucky you are to have a mum alive to share this with you. Remember that she’s worrying about her baby (you) through all of this, as well as your baby.

My mum was unbearable when I first got pregnant so I told her I would ask if I wanted info on something. I MC and with my second round she had calmed down and knew to take it day by day.
As much as she is excited about your pregnancy and wants to feel involved if it's too much for you just tell her so.

First time pregnancy here too and I've actually found my mum and MIL to be more chilled than I expected. It's friends who are new parents who I'm finding the most overbearing with the advice, and weirdly it's all about material products and which brands I should buy. A sign of the times maybe?! I just smile and nod and then immediately forget everything they said 😂