Maternity leave

[Olivebranch21]

Just wanting opinions really. Just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd. Extremely early, will be due end of August/beginning of September 2025 and already have the worst anxiety about telling work. It’s taken away all the excitement.

i had my first son in October 2022 & found out when he was 5 months old we were expecting our second. I returned to work July 2023 from my first maternity leave and went on my second maternity leave on the 1st January 2024 - the day my 2nd son was born.

fast forward to now my 2nd will be 1 next week and I have just found out I am pregnant again. I went back to work full time in October 2024 and now I’m looking to be off again August/september 2025. Should I be nervous to tell work? Is there anything they can do to make my life difficult?

There isn't much they can do really can they? (but i can completely see why employers might get pissed off and not want to hire women of child bearing age given how much time you have had out of the workplace)

I would ignore the above OP. You’re within your rights to have whatever family you want without judgment from your workplace.
in terms of telling them, you get to frame it. If you go in all apologetic then they will feel hard done by. Make it calm, confident and matter of fact

My employer has just switched to offering matched maternity and paternity leave.

I really hope it changes people like PPs views on 'risks of hiring women of childbearing age' - men can have babies at almost any age and at a continuous rate...! Surely that's more of a risk?!

OP I get why you're worried but it's not their business and you're entitled to it. I'm not sure if spacing it out over 6 years would make much difference to them? I'd state your commitment to coming back (if you are) and work diligently as you can - sounds like you did right up to birth for your second! That's all they can ask!

OP’s employers would be extremely narrow minded and unreasonable if this proved to be how they felt.

Poor babies don't get to be the main event for long in your house do they? Why so close together?

Are you sure you want to go back? 3 tiny ones and full time work would be super stressful. I wouldn't think it worth it tbh

OP’s employers would be extremely narrow minded and unreasonable if this proved to be how they felt.

They're obviously not going to let it show are they but colleagues talk and have opinions

Absolutely true but it still happens. The unwritten rules of work - it may be very not okay but to think it doesn’t exist is wrong.

Yeah they can’t do anything and have to legally accept you will need to have appointments and maternity leave but believe me there is still feelings toward women (speaking as a woman I have seen and heard the innuendos and yea I have put them right) “taking” three years “off” in four years.

@OliveLeader

Depends on the employer, a big company may be able to manage multiple absences without affecting company performance or other staff whereas a smaller company can literally be put out of business by multiple maternity leaves. Women may have the right to time off but it isn't cost free nor even practical to find substitutes in many circumstances. I suspect ops company and line manager at least won't be best pleased but you are still entitled. If I was an employer hiring would I think about the possibility of multiple maternity leaves and child care related absence, yes of course because I'm human. Is it fair - no but then the fact only women give birth is what makes it tricky. If we had shorter maternity it would help eg my Belgian friend said 4 months was the norm there

@Olivebranch21 ignore this comment it's absolutely untrue.

I was in a really similar situation and I actually posted my own thread about it a month or so ago. I have been on mat leave since December 2023 and found out in September that I was expecting our second, which basically meant that I would return to work in Jan 2025 and go off again in June for another year. I was so so anxious about telling work for exactly the same reasons as you, but they were absolutely thrilled for me and said it will be wonderful to have two children close in age. I'd really built it up in my head as it being an awful conversation and it went fantastically. When I posted my thread about it an HR Director commented and said it was much more common than people think for this to happen, and when I told my manager the news he said exactly the same thing!

What horrible backwards thinking comments! How lovely your little ones will grow up close in age OP, and don't worry at all about taking maternity leave close together.

Best of luck with the nursery fees though. I'm in a similar boat and it's making me wince!

Are you in the uk? If so you're protected by uk maternity laws and no employer can legally make things difficult for you. Don't be afraid to approach them when it's the right time to notify them of your pregnancy.
Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy, you do whatever is best for you and your family and ignore the ignorant comments on here ♥️

God @brummumma is that necessary?

@Olivebranch21 I get why you're nervous. But it is what it is. You've every right to take maternity leave and your employer can just accept it

Not that I would need to explain my self to you but my children are the best of friends and me and my husband always wanted children with smaller age gaps. We are a hard working family and they will never want for anything!

It might not work you but it’s works perfect for us

Thank you for the kind comments

just abit of context I work for an extremely large UK company so at the end of the day I know I am just another number to them. I’ve been there almost 9 years too so it’s not like I’ve just started.

I know I’m just getting myself all worked up in my head about it and legally there is nothing they can do - but like a few people have mentioned I just know comments will be made behind my back

but I know it’s no one else’s business and no one can tell me when to have a family

Yes
Especially as big companies only offer perks like this as their research will have shown it saves them money overall as a way to retain talent, talent that makes them money.

OP's employers aren't doing her a favour by offering mat leave - they are either just obeying the law, or if they offer extra then they know it makes financial sense to keep her on.

Ps congrats op x