Please tell me to pull myself together...

[finallypregnant]

As I know I have read too many differing books but all these experts and I have read way to much on the internet. Couldn't sleep last night worrying that I have made a terrible mistake and that I'm going to get everything wrong from getting him into a routine to feeding him.

I've got 7 weeks left and will make myself ill if I have another night like last night. Please tell me I am not the only one to have these odd feelings and why is it that thoughts grow arms and legs at night and you get yourself so worried?

I'm with you! I'm with you! Finding the whole process totally scary - but finding mumsnet to be full of common sense responses.

For most of my pregnancy, I wanted to die, and for the last month or so I want the pregnancy to be over. Then again, totally terrified of giving birth and actually having a baby.

And confuuuuuuuuused about everything! I'm a control freak in normal life, and I think the lack of control in pregnancy - and motherhood - is the thing I'm most struggling to deal with.

Have posted before on my panics, and I want to become an ambassador for the 'pregnancy is scary' group, and get people to speak out!

Pull yourself together!

Its a really scary confusing thing when you get to the last few weeks. There are so many unknowns and you feel like you'll never be be able to cope, but you really really will.

Really do stop reading the books, or at least don't tke them to heart. All babies are different and you will know what your baby needs when they get here, don't feel you have to do what the books tell you. What worked for DS, really didn't for DD.

Just try to remember that your baby will love you even when you get things wrong! You do not have to be perfect, it will fall into place soon enough and you'll wonder why you were so worried!

STOP READING THE BLEEDING BOOKS!!!! and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

so what's the worst that can happen? your lo doesn't get into a routine- trust me that is so not the end of the world. i have wasted the first few months of my dd's life trying to follow these so called parenting experts and only finally felt better once i threw them all away (the books that is, the experts are not so easily disposed of unfortunately...)

you can't breastfeed him/her (assume that's what's worrying you?)? well luckily we are in 2008 and formula is readily available and you will all survive.

and so on...

sorry- don't mean to be flippant or harsh- jsut relax and enjoy. you will know what's best for your baby and even if that means a few minor 'mistakes", so what, that's what you will laugh about when he grows up (I still laugh with my mum about the time she sent me to kindie with no knickers on). there is no right or wrong way to bring up a baby!!!

there- hope you feel better soon, and best of luck

it is strange. it's a total unknown, you have little control over what's going to happen and that's scary.

you will get things wrong, but you will also get lots of things right. your baby doesn't need perfect mummy, it needs you. the books are just a guide, but i suspect that's one of those things a lot of us work out as you go along, as you get to know your baby.

you may have a snigger at the thought of me looking at my 2 week old baby crying on the playmat, wondering why he was crying as i was trying to do a certain contented routine that day, and he was crying after a nappy change. then picking up another popular book looking at him whilst reading all the desciptions as to how a crying baby looks to work out why he was crying, then deciding there was no description for a baby having a terminal meltdown.

(fortunately dh wandered in and casually stated he thought a cuddle would do the trick. cue contented book being chucked across the room!)

Finally pregnant - I know what you mean. But like my stretch marks, weight, etc I am finally beginning to realise that I can't do anything about it today. So I put the worries away until I can do something about them, ie: when the little one's here. Warning: Cheesy but true phrase coming up "worry is like a rocking chair, you can worry back and forth all you like, but you're still not going to get anywhere". Give it up!

"Just try to remember that your baby will love you even when you get things wrong!" LauraLou - I think that is the best piece of advise I have read anywhere. Thank you!

Don't read the books! You will be just fine, babies are very forgiving when you do get it wrong! And childbirth really is okay, (whispers I actually have very fond memories of mine)
Essie that is how I felt when pg too, the relief of giving birth and not being pg any more, I can't tell you.
Babies are bloody hard work, but they have few needs and so really aren't complicated, and as they develop so do you iyswim.

During my first pregnancy whenever I got panicky Dh would say like a mantra "Keep it warm, feed it and love it... that's all it needs" (apologies for the 'it'!) - really helped me. You'll be fine

missorinocco - I remember trying the same book on DD1 when she was a baby. I got to the stage in the book which said "place the now drowsy baby in the cot" , looked down at my purple-faced screeching child and threw the book away. As my HV said, the trouble is the babies haven't read the books...

Throw away the books now. Every baby is different.

I can guarantee you there will be an Oh Shit what do we do now moment (ours was when we arrived back home from hospital) and then something kicks in.

And you have a back up of thousands of Mums at the ready for when you need help, support or just a shoulder to cry on.

Oh and if you havent already come and join us on the Due in June thread, where it ranges from first timers to No4