Talking/singing to bump

[LilyJane95]

I’m 24 weeks with my first baby, and this week my husband and I have both felt her kick from the outside for the first time. It’s been a really amazing experience and I’m loving feeling her moving around.

When I’ve told other people, pretty much everyone has said how they started singing and talking to their baby at this stage. My issue is, I have no desire at all to do that, and I’m a bit worried that it means my maternal instinct is somehow lacking?

I do feel like I’m bonding with her, and each time I feel her move, I just can’t wait for her to be here in my arms. But for some reason it just feels strange to me to talk to her. Maybe it’ll come later when I can feel her much more and visibly see her movements?

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not some sort of heartless monster!

What? Your maternal instinct is perfectly fine! It has nothing to do with talking or singing or anything like that. It's not something you achieve by cheking all the items in some random to do list. It is something primal that guides you. You have your own unique connection with your baby. And he/she is lucky to have a unique mother who listens to herself (and also worries and questions herself), and does not follow some fake cookie cutter version of lifestyle.
I'm not saying AT ALL that talking or singing to your baby would be fake!! What I mean is that everybody is their own person and has their own way of connecting with their baby, that comes from your heart. Mothers are not all the same!
ETA: Congratulations!! 😊💐

I'm pregnant with my third and have never sang or spoken to my bump. Other than to say stop kicking me in the bladder occasionally in the third trimester. Hope this helps 😂

I didn't speak/sing to my bumps.
Don't worry about it op, each to their own!

I didn't sing but I played music through my phone and held it on my bump which she always responded to, just do things your own way

3 children. Never done it. Ferus wouldn't know anyway.
They will hear your voice - you are not silent!

I found it super awkward to do that so didn't really. The point is to generate oxytocin but if you don't really want to then you won't get oxytocin from it! I still bonded well with my baby and I feel like I have a strong maternal instinct. Don't worry, your maternal instinct is fine. 😊

This is the start of a long road for you as a parent, in ignoring other people's opinions 😂 if it's not your thing don't do it. Personally it seems a bit weird to me so I never have, but each to their own! It will have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on your child's well-being or your relationship.

I can’t really imagine what people say to their bump? I did talk to aloud about what I was doing, but I talk out loud to myself to help me remember what I’m doing anyway. I’d maybe say ‘right we’re off to the shop, try not to kick me in the bladder please’. Or something like that, but never sat and chatted TO my bump as a way of bonding.

Yes I was always asked about this at my appointments - I asked them why and they said to see if we’re bonding. But they weren’t bothered when I said I found it awkward. DH didn’t mind - he’d sing to them. I was fine once they were born!

I didn't do this either, don't worry. I did sort of talk to the baby in my head, but no need to do it out loud - they hear you talk in normal life.

Never did this either, it felt really weird. My midwife asked and I said no. She said but the baby needs to hear your voice. I replied that I’m a teacher, I don’t stop talking all day 😂, think the baby will definitely know my voice when it arrives!

No problems with bonding, was in love from the moment he was put on my chest.

I used to play with my unborn daughter. She would kick and I would poke her foot and she would move it and kick somewhere else and I would poke again. ‘Took her’ to lots of classical concerts too and she always reacted. Maybe play some music in the house?

Your baby can hear you in there now. And they will recognize your voice when they are born. They will prefer familiar sounds - so if you sing to them regularly thing now, they will recognize and be soothed by the same songs once they are born. It’s not a pointless exercise.
If you don’t talk/sing to your bump but you talk to other people a fair bit during the day, it’ll all be fine anyway because your baby will still recognize the sound of your voice. If you have a job/routine where you are mostly silent most of the time, you might want to add in something specifically for the baby to hear you - you could read aloud to them for example - and it doesn’t matter whether you read kids’ stories, the news, your favourite novelist, or mumsnet posts - it’s just to help your baby get familiar with your voice.

I didn't regularly talk to any of my 2 whilst they were inside, however occasionally I would talk out loud to them whilst in the car . Sometimes it would be a simple, "hey baby, sorry I haven't talked to you for a few days. I'm just on my way to work! I've had a crazy morning with your brother, as I'm sure you heard ..." 😂
I think i heard somewhere that your voice sounds different when talking directly to them , compared to when you're talking to someone else. Anyways, do what you feel is right.

Nah you're fine. Also pregnant with my second and one thing I learned from my first is that she did recognise and find comfort in sounds she recognised (mostly the dog barking). So this time around before bed every night I'm playing the sound of the Ewan the Dream sheep (sleep aid) while reading. The aim is, once she arrives she'll feel really familiar and comforted by the sound and it'll help with settling her and comforting her. It doesn't have to be you talking and signing (although the baby will hear you talking anyway and recognise it). It can be anything and it doesn't have to be about bonding, it can be a more practical act of love and comforting.

Congratulations by the way!

I talk to my bump. Don't sing tho

27 weeks with my third.

Haven’t directly spoken to any of them as bumps. If I sang they’d probably decide never to come out and face such torture.

I sometimes give this one a little “hello” prod at night when it’s prodding me, but I have to admit it mainly gets ignored. Hoping to improve on that when they arrive.

Just do things your way! Nothing wrong with your maternal instinct.